Body Image...

[Ponine]

Oh where to start.... first, I ran into a Look Better Naked marathon or something over the winter break. I had never seen the show before, and never since. The very first gal i saw looked like me. Not as heavy, but a fairly pale brunette.

I like Carson, I Liked the show, and everything the show did reminded me of a friend of mine, and their pep talks.
I however, felt like garbage when the show was over.

I look in the mirror everyday. I detest what I see. At this moment I am 225-230. Whats odd, to me anyway, is that at 145 when I went to try on wedding dresses... what.. 14 years ago, I was told I was too fat to try anything in the stores on. Nothing they had would fit me, and I got that same answer in four store. So, I missed out on that little gem.

But even though I thought I was 'passable' then, I do not feel so now.
Every day I inventory those things that bother me.
I have a membership to a gym, I pay for it. Do I go? No.
Why? I lack the inspiration. I know I should, and i know that I might feel better if I did. I might start to lose that belly that I detest.

I hate having my picture taken; there's always a chance that you'll get my double chin, or that bad eye, and never a chance that you might see an attractive person.
Yeah, I whine that I am never in any LoT shots, but at the same time, I'm glad. I dont want to be the one that ruins the shot.

Originally Posted by Prudence

I don't think female body image would be such a big deal if women valued each other for more than our looks.

As in women valuing other womens looks? Yeah... we're like that as a whole arent we?
I'd love to comment on your ugly duckling'ness, but I havent seen you. I am sure that you radiate the personality that I have come to rely on and relate to on the board, and I cannot wait to actually meet you.

Originally Posted by wendybeth

I'll never understand why women view each other as competition rather than comrades.

Have you ever noticed that it almost doesnt matter , its like they dont want each other to be happy at all. If one is, everyone tried to outshine that happiness and dull it?

Originally Posted by €uroMeinke

So more random thoughts from one of the only guys posting here:

Seems physical beauty is often a foot-in-the-door sort of advantage - get's people to look and pay attention. I've certainly heard from a lot of people on the online dating front, that the profile picture was important for them to initiate any contact - or at least accurate physical descriptions.

Oh sure. And thats very true. For me, it works loads better if I meet someone over the phone, or initiate the contact in another way other than sight. Sight alone and I am likely to be dismissed.

oddly enough, my profile pic usually was a very skinny Frances Ruffle, and many people have thought it was me, and accordingly said very nice things about my wieght and etc.
How interesting their reactions are when I say, no, thats not me, and I'm actually two of her.

I dont know BE. Our culture, and our personal experieinces have made us very body concious.
Chances are that I will prob never watch that show again, mostly because it was so incredilby depressing for me.
I know what bothers me about my body. And its not just the double chin, the bad eye, the swollen feet and the HUGE thighs.
However, I don't suspect that it will change any time real soon, but I can live with that.

And what did you say BE? a rectangle with boobs? Hmm... I'm not a rectangle. Maybe an oval.
I dont remember your body shape at all. I will tell you that what I do remember is a wonderful smile, and a very exotic and intriguing face.

Here you go , a toast to our less than perfect body types.

oh, and CP, I've seen them. Personally, I never thought of teats.

[blueerica]

And thank you.

[innerSpaceman]

Heheh, my reasons for a trip to Japan: 1) Have fun with the Lashes; 2) Enjoy a culture I've always found facsinating; 3) Go clothes shopping in a world where men's pants will actually fit me.


Yes, I have to travel to a foreign land for that. Ugh.



On the plus side ... leaving all clothing issues aside, and I've never watched the show ... but I look pretty good naked.

[Nephythys]

I loathe my body image- sometimes dangerously so.

4 kids, the fact that I tend to eat when I am stressed, several abdominal surgeries which have left scars and all sorts of hills and dimples in my already pudgy tummy and add cellulite to the mix and the fact that I am chronically sedentary.....well, you have a disaster.

I'm tall and so I get away with alot- but I can see the damage weight and gravity is doing to my body. I can guarantee that if I would just do some moderate exercise I would lose weight because I do not eat excessively all the time and not all that fatty of foods either.

But I don't. I don't know why.

I know another part of my image issues is my wardrobe since I need to dress business casual 4 days out of the week- and I have not bought work clothes since before Rose was born. Oh I have gotten a piece here and there- but nothing that makes me feel very comfortable and competent.

I finally bought new clothes yesterday- which I consider pretty healthy. Reason being that I think I have resisted buying clothes in bigger sizes-I finally accepted that I would be happier and more comfortable in a size that fits me- even if I don't want to be that size in 6 months to a year.

I feel ugly- even though I know I am not. I feel undesireable- and I blame Jupiter It is within my power to change this image- but I find it hard to start on that road.

[alphabassettgrrl]

Ponine- you were told you were fat at *145*????????? That's astounding. And wrong. Go ahead and get in on some of the pictures- I promise you won't ruin them! I want you to be in them and I'm sure I'm not alone!

The thing about making healthy changes is that it reinforces itself once you get a couple good habits established. I just tossed my Disneyland fudge because it didn't taste good anymore. I used to *love* that stuff. Burger King yesterday made me feel loggy and heavy and just yuck. I always thought it was bunk when people said food made them feel differently depending on what they ate. They are right! It's surprising.

I'm eating a lot more healthy snacks these days and even though I'm not losing weight per se, I feel better. Healthy snacks, bring a gigantic jug of water so I don't run out, and tea have been my starting habits. Cooking at home helps, too, because while I still eat too much meat, at least it's broiled instead of deep-fat-fried. And I usually put veggies with it, which fast food generally skips.

Come on, ladies, look proudly in the mirror!!! All body shapes and types welcome in the gorgeous club. Culture at large only gives us one body type that is beautiful- let's reject that notion. Everybody all together now- I am beautiful! I love me!

[Nephythys]

I am fat and unhealthy- I can't say I love that.

Cancer
Gall bladder disease
and the stress on my body is devastating.

Heart disease is the #1 killer of women.

I can't lie and say I love me- I am afraid for me.

[Not Afraid]

Ponine, I've always thought that you are beautiful! I can't imagine you without your wonderful curves.

[MouseWife]

Yep, I can imagine someone saying that 145 is too heavy. In high school, I was a 5 dress and 7 pant; somehow we were discussing this {why I can't recall} and size seven came up. This guy said 'Is that the largest they come?' Of course now I'd say 'F off dumshiet' but then I thought 'Wow, I must be sooo huge'. I had been heavier in middle school but lost the weight over the summer between schools. So, I still felt much heavier.

The mind really does mess with us. Our scale was off. Instead of just doing the math I just didn't bother getting on it. Wow, bad choice. I went and bought a digital one and it is helping me to think twice about sleeping instead of doing something.

Peoples' perceptions on line and in person. Hmm. Well, having lost a lot of weight, I have seen a big difference in how people treat me. It really sucks because I am the same person. One person told me that if they had known me heavy, they probably wouldn't have felt the same about me. Gee, thanks.

I hate to be in pictures. I do get in them, I know that it is good in the future to show that I, in fact, did participate in life. I see myself and think please don't let me really look like that in person.....

I don't think it is a good idea to take too seriously how you look when you are using a magnifying mirror to pluck your eyebrows, either.....

Oh, and to add since I read NA's post, yes, I think that everyone is beautiful, however they look. I've felt such warmth from most everyone and such personality from everyone!!! I think that is sooo important. Beauty + Hot Bod + no personality + no compassion = a person not really worth my time.

[Not Afraid]

Weight is a meaningless number unless you're talking about health issues. Health issues are probably the BEST reason to lose weight because obesity leads to so many other horrible results. Is food really that important that you let it ruin so many other quality of life experiences?

We're such a "immediate gratification" culture. I feel, therefore I need to act. It would be better if we didn't care about food so much. Sadly, I really like to eat, I like flavor, I like cheese and chocolate, and I don't always make the best choices when I'm hungry. The long term effects of obesity are far away from my mind when I make the choice to eat something right now. I don't know how to bridge that gap.

You would think that if something made you that unhappy, you wouldn't do it in the same way any more. But, isn't that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.

[innerSpaceman]

At least weight can be lost. Height cannot be gained.

There are surgical solutions to both, I suppose. Drastic in one case .... extremely drastic in the other.


Oh well, at least shortness is not a health issue (unless it's shortness of breath). But it's one that no amount of diet and exercise is ever going to address.

Not a pity plea ... just a perception test. Some body image issues can be addressed, and if they bother you to a certain degree ... they should be.


If they don't .... they're not an issue.