The Art of Moving On

[Not Afraid]

[innerSpaceman]

Originally Posted by Gemini Cricket

1. People using the word 'gay' to describe something or someone lame.

Totally the fault of the gays. Why choose the word "gay," which already had a meaning of carefree happiness before it meant homosexual. Now it's got a perfectly-fitting third meaning. And I myself use it all the time. I probably use "gay" more to mean 'lame in a fruity way' than I do to mean queer.

Originally Posted by Gemini Cricket

2. How anti-gay people always use the word 'homosexual' instead of the word 'gay' to describe people.

Relax. Would you rather they used "fag?" They don't have to subscribe to anyone's desired slang. (Especially failed slang like "gay," see No. 1 above.)

Originally Posted by Gemini Cricket

3. Cooties.

SacTown is right about cooties.

[Gemini Cricket]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

I probably use "gay" more to mean 'lame in a fruity way' than I do to mean queer.

And what does 'lame in a fruity way' mean?

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

Relax. Would you rather they used "fag?" They don't have to subscribe to anyone's desired slang. (Especially failed slang like "gay," see No. 1 above.)

It's more like when most usually say 'gay marriage' they have to say 'homosexual marriage'. Which is correct in a grammar way, but is used to highlight a negative feel about the word 'homosexual' itself. They can't get away with 'fag marriage' in the media, but of course I'm sure Savage and Coulter can. Take a look at press releases and letters by right wing crazies, it's always 'homosexual' and not 'gay'. Even the AP just came out recently and said journalism etiquette is the use of 'gay' and not 'homosexual'.

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

SacTown is right about cooties.

Girls = Cooties. I had a feeling.

[mousepod]

Shortly after I moved to San Francisco, I got a job working at a indie (read: punk) record distributor. There was this guy, Ken, who worked with me who was the embodiment of a good leftie skinhead. Built like a fireplug, shaved head, jacket covered in patches of punk bands from eastern europe that few people outside eastern europe ever heard of.

One lunchtime, we decided to go record shopping (that's how frightening my life is - taking a break from a music warehouse to go to a record store). We go to Tower Records in the Castro, pick out our CDs and get in line.

"What are you getting, Ken?"

"The new CD by Cripple Bastards [I don't actually remember what he bought, but you get the idea]. What about you?"

"The new Hanson CD. I know it's gay, but what can I say? I really like it."

I spoke the words in a clear and resonant tone, without a shred of sarcasm. The crowd of shoppers, many of whom were undoubtedly gay, didn't flinch. Ken, however, looked sick. His bald head turned beet red.

"Jesse, don't you know where we are? You shouldn't use terms like that."

I was at once revolted by the super-PC reaction of my companion and touched that this dangerous looking skinhead was so compassionate and liberal. But mostly I was revolted.

That's my story. Thought it was a good place to tell it.

And in hindsight, "Mmm-bop" is still pretty gay, but I like it.

[innerSpaceman]

Good story. Most gays grock the difference between gay and Gay.

I'm sorry that I can't explain it any better than "lame in a fruity way." If there were a better way to say it, we wouldn't have to say "gay." It's the perfect word for the sentiment. The mo's have fag and queer and, well, homo, to replace "Gay." There are no other choices for "gay."


Ya know, I like that "gay" doesn't necessarily mean "bad." Perfect example:

"The new Hanson CD. I know it's gay, but what can I say? I really like it."

It's just a particular quality... often referred to without admiration, but rarely without affection.


I also like that gays are ok with "gay." It's kinda like being able to laugh at yourself ... and I think that's a very healthy attitude.

[Gemini Cricket]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

I also like that gays are ok with "gay." It's kinda like being able to laugh at yourself ... and I think that's a very healthy attitude.

Not all. I still cringe when I hear it. It equates being gay with being lame or weak. Maybe if I was healthier, I'd laugh at it. I'm not there yet.

For me, it's up there with 'girlie man' or 'you throw like a girl'. It implies that there's something wrong with a male being like a female. Calling something lame 'gay' says that gay = lame. It's as simple as that...

[innerSpaceman]

But it's not just "lame." For lame things, we say "lame."

We need "gay" to describe that particular brand of lame that is, well, ya know, gay.


It's kinda like how the eskimos have twelve words for snow.



I'll concede that, in a way, lame-gay refers to something being effeminatish. That can have a poor connotation when Gay also means effeminatish. I just don't think it does in this day and age. Gay means homosexual. There are plenty of other words reserved for particularly effeminate homosexuals, but Gay is pretty generic.


Sorry if you find it insulting, GC.


Blacks can call each other 'n i gg er' all the day long, but don't anyone else dare say that word. We've all got a long way to go, but we're getting there.


* * * * * *

On the other hand, I agree with you about "homosexual marriage." That's just fear-baiting, plain and simple. But I don't know why. Does it just sound more nasty? It certainly doesn't sound as happy as "gay marriage." Doesn't everybody wish they had a gay marriage??

Hardly a term opponents are likely to use.




* * * * * *

I'm glad everyone's in accord about cooties.

[mousepod]

GC, I hear what you're saying.

I get angry when someone says that they "jewed someone down on the price."
I have been careful to remove words like "gyp" from my vocabulary, once I realize what they connoted.

I understand what your beef is, and as a het I wouldn't want to flippantly use a term that might insult you.

Having said that, I want to point out that iSm hit the nail on the head with regards to my intent. I always use the term in an affectionate way, never to pass judgement. I know that I've called myself a geek since I was in 5th grade and continue to chuckle about geeky things and never give a second thought to the carny etymology of the term.

My Gay friends are all cooler than Hanson. Otherwise, they wouldn't be my friends.

[Gemini Cricket]

Originally Posted by mousepod

I understand what your beef is, and as a het I wouldn't want to flippantly use a term that might insult you.

I wasn't at all insulted by you, mousepod. Not in the least. I wasn't directing that at you at all. I totally think iSm and you are making great points. It's different when you hear it from someone you know. When you hear it randomly in public, it's stinky.

[Gemini Cricket]

I'm really not meaning to be a pain in the a$s here, but...

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

We need "gay" to describe that particular brand of lame that is, well, ya know, gay.

Most of the time, it is used in a negative situation. If people hear it used enough to describe something in a negative way, I think people start to believe 'gay' is something bad.