Hypersensitivity...

[Nephythys]

Originally Posted by Moonliner

Ohh, nice use of the passive aggressive debate technique!

I get to make my point but you don't get a chance to respond because I have already deemed it not worth getting any further into.

Well done

*sigh*

If I had chosen to respond as I initially wanted to I would have been upset and emotional- so I stepped back- and I still get grief.

I support and love my son deeply- I encourage him all the time- he hates school. He has NO desire to succeed and learn. I struggle constantly and the idea that a kid will simply bloom into that kind of self motivated person with the right amount of love and support is insulting to me. As if somehow I am just not supporting and loving him unconditionally enough- so instead of getting into that mess I simply said I disagree and take exception to some of her theories.

The hassle is not worth the effort.

On edit- I know her comment was not a personal barb directed at me- hence my decision to refrain from reacting to it. That is not passive agressive- it was being prudent in my response.

[Alex]

Originally Posted by tracilicious

Everyone is born with a natural desire to learn and succeed. It is often driven out of them by the conditional acceptance of those around them. With support and unconditional love, I believe every child will do their best in everything they want to do.

I disagree pretty strongly with this.

Why does it have to be about winning or losing? My question is not, should one person win musical chairs or should everyone, my question is why musical chairs? Wouldn't it be a more fun game, if instead of everyone trying to snatch a chair and one person being sent away, all the kids try to fit into the remaining chairs?

No, I don't think that would be a more fun game. Not that musical chairs is all that fun. But why does it have to be one or the other?

Why are we drilling competition and the need to "win" into kids at such a young age? What's the point of that? I don't see it as anything but destructive.

I'd say it is because competition is a biological imperitive of our species and we might as well teach people to do it well, to do it with dignity, to do with within certain confines of "honor" or "good sportsmanship." To handle it appropriately when you don't win, and more importantly when you do. How not to let disappointment put you into a spiral of despair, how to persevere despite it.

I spend almost every single day being paid to "defeat" other people. I do it by working cooperatively with many people. They are complimentary, not contradictory skills.

[Ghoulish Delight]

I was paid for grades. But, as mentioned before, it wasn't "get good grades for a reward", it was more like a salary. "You want money? Earn it." Same went for allowance. I didn't just get an allowance, I got an allowance if I mowed the lawn and took out the trash.

And praising kids is about more than just encouraging good behavior through praise. It's about instilling a sense of empathy, letting them know that other people actually care about their success. Like Moonliner, I'm not advocating a, "You lost, what a loser!" attitude. It's about effort. I'm just against the "You're a winner no matter what!" mantra.

Challenging them, asking the questions that make them think about what they've learned is also important, but the two aren't mutually exclusive. There was plenty of both in my house.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

All I know about grades is - my parents didn't pay attention to my schooling, didn't push me when I slacked off, and didn't notice when I didn't give them report cards. I plan on doing the opposite with my kids. I hope GD has some good ideas on methodology.

[SacTown Chronic]

Speaking of hypersensitivity...


Issue:

Recently, my newspaper staff at Oak Ridge High in El Dorado Hills published a humorous article underscoring how teens view MySpace, Chipotle and the cinema. For teenagers, frequenting these places is like a ritual, the staff wrote. The headline for the article, which included logos for these three popular places: "The Holy Trinity."

One parent's response:

One parent fired off a letter to the principal.

"How dare the staff supervisor, allow what is such poor taste ... I am so in pain over this, and can't imagine our Lord's tears ...

"We certainly were impressed with Oak Ridge's academic portfolio, but assmed with such a conservative network of families, we would not be subject to religious persecution ... I would pray that an apology be submitted to all Catholics and Christians ... "

Lord's tears? Religious persecution?

[3894]

Originally Posted by SacTown Chronic

Lord's tears?

I am totally in love with that phrase.

Me to my neighbor when I find yet another of his golf balls in my woods: "I am so in pain over this, and can't imagine our Lord's tears ..."

[Ghoulish Delight]

The cinema?

[Ghoulish Delight]

I consider competition as valuable because I consider losing a valuable lesson to learn. Not everything in this world can be cooperative. There are points in everyone's life, no matter how hard you try, where someone will "win" and someone will "lose". By starting the lessons early, with trivial things like musical chairs, that losing an individual competition is NOT important, then they are prepared for the inevitable situations in life when someone else is rewarded and they are not.

[Stan4dSteph]

Originally Posted by Moonliner

Of course thread have a life of their own so they go where they will, but I can state that the original post was not about "The war on Christmas"

Perhaps I have been watching too much Colbert Report.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Originally Posted by Stan4dSteph

Perhaps I have been watching too much Colbert Report.

Or maybe Moonliner's just a little hypersensitive about the term "War on Christmas".