Man Commits Suicide at DLH

[Morrigoon]

Pffft. No kidding.

[alphabassettgrrl]

I find it most likely that depression can run in families. My friend is on antidepressants, as are both her siblings. Her mother should be but isn't. Something's up.

The other thing is that family patterns replicate themselves just as much as DNA. If those patterns create a suicidal ideation once, it can create it again.

Some of our societal freak-out I think is because we can't deal with death. We can't talk about it, we can't think about it, and gods bless it, we can't face it head-on. I wish we could talk with terminal patients, and those who choose their exit date ought to be accepted. I wish we could talk about pain. I wish my dad could have talked about whatever drove him to suicide (we have no clue why or what happened).

[Tom]

Not directed at anyone in particular, just my thoughts/experience:

What I didn't grasp, or at least fully understand, untill my depression worsened was that for people with depression (and, I assume, other mental illnesses), the world in which they perceive themselves as living, and which is the source of their depressive feelings, is as real to them as the "regular" world is to those without mental health issues. The actions they take, be they suicide or obsessive hand washing or talking to the voices they hear, are to them the logical and rational responses to what they experience. It is easy for us to say that they should do this or that, but they can't be expected to react to the world in what we see as a rational (or moral) way when the organ with which they perceive that world is broken.

Luckily, my depression was mild (relative to what it could be), and I had the capability at a certain point to step back and say "this isn't how things are supposed to be," and get help. But I experienced that other world for a little while, and I know that it's not as far away as it seems and very easy to get lost in.

[innerSpaceman]

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

Deciding to take one's own life due to depression, that person has decided to chose the easy way out. ... and yes, I argue that they have taken the easy way out due to a weakness.

The EASY WAY OUT???


I find it hard to believe you ever seriously contemplated suicide.





Perhaps that was a cavalier thing to say ... but no moreso than to describe a suicidal person's concept of ending their own existence as "the easy way out." Sheesh.

[Prudence]

This is a difficult issue for me because in some respects I teeter on the brink of suicide myself on a regular (sometimes daily) basis.

I know that my depression is related to a chemical imbalance of some kind. I know this because for many years I was able to take an anti-depressant that worked for me. It was great. I still had my various hang-ups and issues, but most of the time it freed me to just be myself. Not walk around in a medicated haze, not exhibit some kind of chemically induced euphoria - just be myself without the constant barrage of self-criticism.

Unfortunately, this wonder drug was pulled from the market several years ago and my pathetic HMO has not been interested in finding a suitable replacement. This leaves me in a tough spot - I feel the emotional pain I used to and I'm back to seeing nothing but fault in everything I am and do. At the same time, I've had a pretty solid glimpse of the other side so I know, intellectually, that what I'm feeling isn't the only reality out there.

Thus, I'm a bit of a split personality. On the one hand, I know that I'm probably doing better than I give myself credit for. I know that it's possible for me to be happy - or at least happier. And I have some hope that one day I'll be able to feel that way again. My emotional side, however, struggles on a regular basis to fight through a fog of negative that just won't quit. I can do things to reduce and alleviate that fog - and I do so to the best of my meager ability - but I have not managed to make it go away.

It's an interesting position. Some days I simultaneously *know* that 1) any sadness my family might feel at my passing would be short-lived and eventually outweighed by relief that I was out of their lives forever and 2) that the previous thought is complete crap manufactured by my malfunctioning brain. And maybe it's just the general utilitarian bent of my personal philosophy that those who have committed suicide don't necessarily share, and I'm sure that some do the deed out of revenge or whatnot, but I have a hard time seeing all suicides as selfish. "Selfish" is the word we apply, from our perspective, based on our sense of loss. If I didn't have experience to tell me my emotions are "wrong", I might not be here now - and I would have done it with the firm belief that, after the dust had settled, friends and family would agree that it was for the best.

[Kevy Baby]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

I find it hard to believe you ever seriously contemplated suicide.

Contemplated and attempted.

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

Perhaps that was a cavalier thing to say ... but no moreso than to describe a suicidal person's concept of ending their own existence as "the easy way out." Sheesh.

I stand by my comments. It is MUCH harder to acknowledge a problem and accept help. I speak from experience. I even acknowledged to myself at the time that it was the simplest way out of my situation.

[Tom]

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

It is MUCH harder to acknowledge a problem and accept help. I speak from experience.

My experience was different. For me, once I recognized that I had a problem, seeking help was fairly easy, possibly because I had seen a psychiatrist before so I had experience in telling myself that I had a mental issue that I couldn't handle on my own. What was most difficult for me was recognizing that I had a problem. Not acknowledging it as such, but simply realizing that something was not as it should be.

[innerSpaceman]

Oh, i'm sure for the vast majority of those who actually commit suicide, that option was the best one thought available. That does not make it the easy way out.

You needn't answer this, because it's getting very personal, but i have to wonder if seemed "simple" or "easy" for you to to end your own life.


Sorry to be nitpicky on words. If you had said "it seemed the most simple solution," I would not have jumped on it. But too many call it the "easy way out." And especially coming from someone who purportedly got very, very close the snuff point, I find that very offensive.

[Kevy Baby]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

Oh, i'm sure for the vast majority of those who actually commit suicide, that option was the best one thought available. That does not make it the easy way out.

I cannot speak for others; I can only speak from my own experience. As I said above, it was the EASIEST way out. I even acknowledged that fact to myself. And I have heard that from others. I just wanted to the pan to be over.

But this is not a cavalier statement. It is a point that I and others make to emphasize a point. In dealing with someone contemplating the same thing, I say the same thing: suicide is the easy way out. And there aren't many things where the easy way is the better way.

I am educated and it affords me an opportunity to have things in life that I probably wouldn't have had I taken the easier way of not getting an education.

I enjoy a long-term relationship because I work hard at it. I could choose to take the easier way and just bail out when anything challenging comes up.

I am alive today because I chose to work hard to overcome my depression. Had I taken the easy way out, you would not be reading these words.

[Morrigoon]

This is true. But again, wouldn't call it a strength.