Thoughts Approaching Christmas.....

[lashbear]

I'm blessed to be where I am in life. It's been a little like a game of survivor - I've Outlived, Outplayed and Outlasted so many people. I think back briefly to all that water under the bridge and I sigh to think that it's all gone over the falls. I can't run and dive in it anymore. Not without going over the edge.

I have a solid home life as a housewife. We are coping with the wage my guy brings in, but one day in the new year, I'll get job of my own, and that will all be just icing on top of the cake. We can continue to live off his wage forever, but mine will totally get put into the leisure & travel basket.

Jobs - AMEX Blows the big one. Yeah, teamwork, camaraderie, family. ALL BULL****. If you're retrenched, you might as well have never worked there because you ain't going to get a hand in when a position comes up that was EVERYTHING YOU USED TO DO but for platinum and centurion customers. Guess they were afraid of a guy in a kilt serving theupper-crust who use the card. **** THEM.

Christmas is coming. That blessed, sacred time for me at the seat of all important family rituals. It's SO important to be with your family at Christmas. It's when all your split ends come together into one woven rope of love, happiness and support that strengthens and forges bonds that keep us solid for the rest of the year.

For me It's a time to share love, laughter and sisterhood with my beautiful Sister in law Patsy. I never had sisters, so every Christmas I shed many tears of joy and happiness that I have such a sweet, talented, joyous, loving, fun, brimming over with life sister to join me in the surprise and delight of mutual exploration of shops, galleries and all other things woven around the craft that each of us aspire to master.

I never had a family that we could really get along with at those giant Christmas parties and not have arguments or big drama over the littlest decisions. It's nice to have people who just say "that way works OK"

Most Importantly, I'm with a Mum who wants me, and a Mum who isn't going to give up on me or leave me to fend for myself. A Mother who not only changes my bed sheets, but listens when I'm having a bad day, isn't afraid to offer a different opinion on a subject, and get into heated debate, and isn't afraid to hug me when sometimes life gets too scary and dark and I need a mothers hug to cut through the doldrums. Daphne used to be that Mum, and when Daphne left this world, I didn't know what I would do - but God sent an Angel to me to take over. Thank heavens for that. A boys best friend is him mommy. I miss mine so hard it aches in my heart Her birthday is Tomorrow. She would have been 84 She never got to see Disneyland with me like I wanted, but I carry her in my heart with me every time I go. One day I will go to Disneyland one final time, and I will have a little of her dust in a necklace or a ring, and I will let her go in some wonderful memorial spot. Just to say that I took her there at least once in respect for all that she did for me. All the self-sacrifice, and the giving, the saving, organising, planning, letting all others go first before her in order that I could be number one to her.

Dad will not be with us this year at Christmas - his choice due to long drives and uncomfortable accommodation (for now) in the house. We will have him next year. I may even drive him up myself . I love Dad so much, he always wanted the best for me, but wasn't a shoulder you could really cry on. Daph was there for that.

Other family will arrive - Bob will always keep us well fed and "watered" with wonderful food, beverages, and keep us nourished with incredible wisdom and foresight, knowledge and laughter. Bob is the eccentric sibling I wish I'd had, the one who you can't wait to see next because every conversation is a journey - you never know where you will end up exploring. I like exploring Japan with Bob. I wish we could spend a year travelling together and seeing all the fascinating, cool & scandalous things Japan has to offer travelling Gaijin.

The LoT will start with it's festive cheer and bon mots to keep the lowest or saddest person bouyed up with love, support, passion, camerarderie and bacon.

Most importantly of all, we will have seen Dad for my Birthday Buffet / Christmas Buffet on the 20th, then travelled up to the official Christmas Family Tradition in the Lakeside Paradise that I am proud to call my home. It will be waiting with its head peeking out of the Murraya hedge, driveway like a tongue rolled out in anticipation of a car, it's toes dabbling in the crystal sparkling wavelets of Wallace lake.
Home is Paradise. I'm in Paradise when I come home.

Goodness - bedtime already.

A man sits late, establishes his late night web of crotched thought
and to his past he casts his memory trying to bring back a tide of
things to do and say for Christmas, just the way one really ought
if one intends to keep the feelings, or traditions that are dwelling hearts inside

He sits and contemplates the scene, the scattered mists, the hazy half remembered
things that were important to the plot of yuletide cheer,
but they fade and tear to bits as winds blow through - the winds of family
love and loyalty then you know that It's all right - 'cos they are here.

Then you find that making rituals, finding favourites once again for
all to share becomes the warmth and joy that you were feeling then.
It's giving love and life to others, yule tradition strong and clear,
a Yule that in anticipation fuels the joy throughout the year.

[mousepod]

Thanks for sharing that. Wonderful.

[Deebs]

Aw, you made me cry. That was beautiful. Really lovely.

[katiesue]

Really beautiful.

[Snowflake]

Lash, that was lovely, sweet and made me teary-eyed. Love you, you know that, I hope.

[Gemini Cricket]

Not sure what happened to my post this morning. But... Nicely done, Mr. Bear!

[~MS~]

Mega hugs to my friend...sympathy for all that is lost and sharing the joy for all that is good in your life. Merry Christmas and wishing you and Stoat the happiest of New Years.

[cirquelover]

That was beautiful. Thank you

[lashbear]

I re-read this tonight and realised that I had left out the most important part of all - the fourth paragraph should read thus:

Christmas is coming. That blessed, sacred time for me at the seat of all important family rituals. It's SO important to be with your family at Christmas. It's when all your split ends come together into one woven rope of love, happiness and support that strengthens and forges bonds that keep us solid for the rest of the year. The loving artisan that weaves our family rope together I call 'Stoat'. He binds all the fibres of our family and my life together with skill, dexterity and love, and always manages to make it a bond that nothing could sever, a bond that weathers all storms and hardships and still holds fast and true. I am blessed, honoured and privileged to have him for a life partner.

[Deebs]

Agree! But add that I think you are both fortunate to have each other. You are two very wonderful people and blend together beautifully.