Jacob and Josh

Gemini Cricket · 11-01-2005, 04:35 PM

Jacob sits at the kitchen table.
He watches the clock on the wall say 2am.
Been sitting so long that his arm sticks to the linoleum top.

Jacob turns his head, sees that picture on the wall.
Him with a trophy and dad's hand on his shoulder.
1st place for track and field.

The picture sits above another of Jacob in a singlet.
A ribbon adorns the frame, 1st place in his weight class.
That was a tough match.

Brother Josh has no adornments.
Josh likes cigarettes and the backseat of his Camaro.
He gave Mary Lee that bruise in that car.

Dad yelled at Josh the other day.
He threw him into the refrigerator.
The thump opened the freezer door.

Josh moved out yesterday.
He packed everything in a laundry basket.
And fled.

Jacob gets up from the table.
He goes to the garage.
He grabs his large Army duffle.

As a streetlight blessed the kitchen with a puddle of bright.
Jacob drags the heavy bag across the room.
A streak of liquid maroon spills across the floor.

A delicate arm of a woman unfurls from the sack.
Her nails make a protesting scratch on the tile.
Jacob now gently tucks her back in.

Jacob heads down to the unlit cellar and leaves her in the black ink.
Jacob reaches the sink and grabs a sponge.
He scrubs the floor as he sees a childhood painting on the fridge.

Jacob looks at the picture of a house, a tree and the sun.
He sees the name 'Josh' scribbled on the bottom.
Jacob can only think that he won't be the favorite son anymore.

Ponine · 11-01-2005, 04:49 PM

Crickets... thats dark, even for you....
I like it, but I really want the plot holes filled in.

Cadaverous Pallor · 11-01-2005, 06:25 PM

As a streetlight blessed the kitchen with a puddle of bright.

tracilicious · 11-01-2005, 08:04 PM

I agree with Ponine. Good job!

Gemini Cricket · 11-01-2005, 08:23 PM

Thank you.

11-01-2005, 04:35 PM	#1
Gemini Cricket ... Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 13,244	Jacob and Josh Jacob sits at the kitchen table. He watches the clock on the wall say 2am. Been sitting so long that his arm sticks to the linoleum top. Jacob turns his head, sees that picture on the wall. Him with a trophy and dad's hand on his shoulder. 1st place for track and field. The picture sits above another of Jacob in a singlet. A ribbon adorns the frame, 1st place in his weight class. That was a tough match. Brother Josh has no adornments. Josh likes cigarettes and the backseat of his Camaro. He gave Mary Lee that bruise in that car. Dad yelled at Josh the other day. He threw him into the refrigerator. The thump opened the freezer door. Josh moved out yesterday. He packed everything in a laundry basket. And fled. Jacob gets up from the table. He goes to the garage. He grabs his large Army duffle. As a streetlight blessed the kitchen with a puddle of bright. Jacob drags the heavy bag across the room. A streak of liquid maroon spills across the floor. A delicate arm of a woman unfurls from the sack. Her nails make a protesting scratch on the tile. Jacob now gently tucks her back in. Jacob heads down to the unlit cellar and leaves her in the black ink. Jacob reaches the sink and grabs a sponge. He scrubs the floor as he sees a childhood painting on the fridge. Jacob looks at the picture of a house, a tree and the sun. He sees the name 'Josh' scribbled on the bottom. Jacob can only think that he won't be the favorite son anymore.
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11-01-2005, 04:49 PM	#2
Ponine Virgin Ears Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: San Diego Posts: 2,075	Crickets... thats dark, even for you.... I like it, but I really want the plot holes filled in. __________________ There's something strange, There's something wrong. I see a change - It's like when love dies.
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11-01-2005, 06:25 PM	#3
Cadaverous Pallor ohhhh baby Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Parental Bliss Posts: 12,364	As a streetlight blessed the kitchen with a puddle of bright. __________________ The second star to the right shines in the night for you
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11-01-2005, 08:04 PM	#4
tracilicious avatar transition Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in-between Posts: 2,487	I agree with Ponine. Good job! __________________ And now Harry, let us step into the night and pursue that flighty temptress, adventure! - Albus Dumbledore
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11-01-2005, 08:23 PM	#5
Gemini Cricket ... Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 13,244	Thank you.
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