The Fat Thread

[€uroMeinke]

As I was keying out yet another response to the riding crop thread that had nothing to do with the OP, I thought I’d go ahead and start a thread where we could talk about Fat, being fat, getting fat, losing fat, living in a culture that is growing fatter.

To reiterate a bit, I’ve always been on the large side – or at least considered myself so, for as long as I can remember. In grade school this was cool, being bigger was status with my peers. At the time there were no concerns about health risks or attractiveness – heck these were the days when girls had cooties. Perhaps this early developmental experience of size=good set the original psychology and body image for the next 40 years as I gradually have increased my size over time to where I now have a BMI that classifies me as “obese.”

Now, as I mentioned in a previous post, when I look at some of my college photos I wonder what I was thinking at the time when I used these photos as evidence of my fatness – ah to be that “fat” again. So I have to wonder if my psychology at the time, my fat body image, helped me to perpetuate my growing size. I also wonder if this is the case with my overweight brethren, that message, or self doubts about one’s weight might be just the thing that helped sabotage any attempts to lose it.

And just to be clear, these musings aren’t a way for me to make excuses or shift blame for my weight gain, but rather for me it’s a way of trying to understand it. Clearly in our culture food is much more than just fuel. Our biology is wired for us to eat until sated, to stock up on fat to get us through the lean times so we might survive the next famine and keep warm through winter. Add to that the pure hedonism of food, one of the few carnal pleasure we can indulge in public – in our contemporary culture of abundance it’s small wonder we are growing ever larger.

But there are health risks to this, as well as the fear that it will prevent us from attracting a retaining a mate. And so like many others, I’d love to shed a few pounds. Intellectually I know it’s a matter of increased activity and reduced consumption, but for some reason this simple formula seems difficult for me to execute. For one there are food pleasures I have no desire to give up – and my experience tells me I don’t have to. Every time we’ve gone to France I’ve eaten well and lost weight, if I could but recreate that experience stateside, I feel I could achieve my diet Nirvana. Of course, this could just be another excuse…

At the end of the day I eat out a lot, and don’t exercise, lifestyle choices I’ve made with weighty consequences.

[MickeyLumbo]

any chubby chasers on this board?

[Ponine]

Okay, I'll bite...

I have not always been "obese" as the doctor says I am.
As a high schooler I topped out at 125 and college student I never topped 140.

In the early 90's when shopping for wedding dresses I was 145. That's 90 lbs less than I am now. At that time I was told I was too heavy , or fat, for the gowns in the stores. I couldnt try them on.
(I made mine)

I thought I was fat then... like E, I would go back to that stage of "fat" in a heart beat.

I eat because it's an easily social thing to do. I eat when I am depressed, and when I am stressed out.
I eat while watching a movie, and lastly because food tastes good.
I never stopped to think ,"hey, why are you eating, you arent hungry" until recently.

Having been thin for a long period in my life, its awkward for me to think of myself as Fat, however I know that I am.
I however lack the motivation to do anything aobut it.
I wouldnt mind dropping 40 lbs or so, just enough to not see a three digit number that starts with 2..
but I am not motivated to go to the gym, to eat less, or to starve myself.

I no longer eat what my son leaves behind, and that's a huge plus!
But, as society lets me order larger portions, I feel compelled to eat them. As new chocolate comes on the market, I feel compelled to try it!

I too know how to achieve this goal, but I fail to put the plan into action.

(and what would I do if I lost my cleavage??? That thought scares me!!)

[€uroMeinke]

Originally Posted by Ponine

In the early 90's when shopping for wedding dresses I was 145. That's 90 lbs less than I am now. At that time I was told I was too heavy , or fat, for the gowns in the stores. I couldnt try them on.
(I made mine)

My goal is to be able to try on pants at Banana Republic in the store. Being able to get larger sizes online does nothing for my ego.

[Alex]

Like I said in the other thread, mostly I'm fat because I'm too lazy to be otherwise.

There are some psychological effects that promote unhealthy eating. First, I grew up relatively poor and eating out was a reward. I don't mean eating out at a nice restaurant, I mean going to McDonald's was something extraordinary. As an adult I carry that thinking with me; I'm flush with money so I can reward myself constantly.

Also, Lani and I come from different "home cooking" backgrounds. What I like to eat at home and what she likes to eat at home are different. And eating out frequently allows compromise on this front.

It is easy to say "well I was brought up eating crappy 'southern home cooking' home cooking where everything is fried, or covered with cheese or gravy (or all three)." I love these foods. But my parents aren't fat. My grandparents are fat. Part of it is certainly different metabolism but part of it is that while they do eat these foods all the time they don't eat them int eh quantities I do. They don't eat dinner at 9:30 p.m. like I frequently do. My grandparents eat dinner at 5:30 and then don't eat again until breakfast.

Another problem is that being fat snuck up on me. I carry my weight exceptionally well, and it wasn't until I got over 240 or so that I began to develop a big gut, and even as I approached 300 pounds (I've since made it back down to 250) people would routinely guess I weighed 80 pounds less.

Exercise is another story. For four years I paid $400 a month to see a personal trainer three times a week. I got fitter, I got stronger, but I didn't lose weight because I still ate terribly and I hate aerobic exercise. I can run a marathon (and have while being obese) but I do it at a speed that is more about muscle endurance (something I have in spades) than aerobic endurance (something I don't have at all).

In the end I'm fat when I don't want to be because I have been successful in life while fat. I've had good jobs. I've been married twice. I've got friends. I've even achieved athletics goals (five half marathons, one full marathon, making it to the top of Half Dome) all while being fat. There is really no outside pressure on me to not be fat (other than from Lani since she is worried about my health).

Yet, I'm just lazy. I don't want to cook my own food all the time (even though I am a very good cook). I don't want to get up early so that I can do some running (even though running is not difficult for me).

And this is why you'll never find me bitching about being fat. Despite the "difficulty" of losing weight, I have made the choices that result in me being fat and continuing to be fat. Even though I don't "want" to be fat.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Fat could very easily be in my near future. Both of my parents were of "normal" girth...until about the age I am now. And then both began their path to obesity. And I've already noticed my metabolism make that switch, I definitely am carrying 15-20 lbs more weight by default that I was a few years back.

Fortunately for them, they've both turned the corner on their weight. My dad had it much easier as his body allowed him to shed the pounds with relative ease just by cutting back on portions and desserts, with a minimal amount of increased physical activity thrown in. He got his weight under control several years ago. My mom's was a much more uphill climb, with a much stronger food-dependence, and a metabolism that eventually required more regimented diet control than simple "eat less". And once she began to lose the first chunk of weight, the increased energy that came with it allowed her to be motivated to exercise regularly for the first time in decades. And now that she's down to a healthy weight, she's keeping it up. She's improved her life a thousand fold, it's been fantastic to watch.

But aaanyway, my point is, I've seen my future if I don't keep on top of it. I am a food lover, and an unconscious eater. If there's food in front of me, I tend to eat it, hungry or not. A few years ago I did manage to break myself of the habit of eating until it literally hurt, but I know I easily slip into relying on larger-than-necessary portions.

The good news is that, at least at this stage in my life, I fit into my dad's model. I've yet to stick to the healthiest life style for a full year, but for the past several years, once I've felt I'm about to cross that line into "too overweight for my own good", I'm able to just decrease my portion size, pay a little more attention to the kinds of food I eat, and add a little bit of exrcise in, and that brings me back down to a healthy weight. We'll see how many more years my body will allow me to do that. I just know that it's something I'm going to have to stay conscious of my whole life, because I know where complacency will lead me.

[scaeagles]

I have such a different problem.

Due to my disease, it is all I can to to keep weight on. Eating is possible, but very painful, so I have no appetite. I force myself to eat because I do not want to have to return to a feeding tube. I exercise because getting my heart rate up is the only thing that relieves the constant spasming in my chest.

Prior to the onslaught on my problem, I was pretty conscious of weight issues. My dad has had two heart attacks and a quad bipass. My sister is obese and is on blood pressure meds and is morderline diabetic. There are too many things in my life I like to do in terms of being active, so it had always been a goal to keep it off.

My concern for others that are obese is their health. I completely understant that people are built differently, and there are some very healthy overweight people. Just to think of lashbear and his heart attack, anbd all the problems that can be associated with being obese.....just don't want to see anyone cash it in early over something that is for most completely preventable.

[Not Afraid]

My main concern about my weight is the fact that my mother died from a massive heart attack. Since I seem to be turning into my Mom (thyroid issues, breast cancer) I can see that this might be a possible future for me. However, I have normal blood pressure and I am not in the "obsese" range, so my risk is less than it could be. I actually like not having a stick figure but I think increasing my activity level would be one of the best things I could do for my health.

[alphabassettgrrl]

Originally Posted by Ponine

In the early 90's when shopping for wedding dresses I was 145. That's 90 lbs less than I am now. At that time I was told I was too heavy , or fat, for the gowns in the stores. I couldnt try them on.
>>>snip>>>
(and what would I do if I lost my cleavage??? That thought scares me!!)

145 and they told you you were too fat to try on wedding dresses??????????????????? That's revolting. 145 is a pretty normal weight.

When losing weight, you do lose a bit in the boobage, but it looks good, because the muscle under it gets bigger and firmer.

Hang in there! See the new slim you, how good you feel, how it's an excuse to go buy new clothes... (and this from the girl that hates shopping) Find that incentive to get to the gym! Or walk the dog. Whatever.

[Prudence]

I got to shop for my wedding dress in the most wonderful shop. It was staffed by fat women and the dress samples were enormous even on me. I felt like a princess.

Of course, they closed shortly after my dress came in. Guess that means I can only get married once!