Walking My Welsh Corki

[Gemini Cricket]

I take my Welsh Corgi, Frodo, for a walk around Somerville, Massachusetts.

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2 Twentysomethings:

She: Oh, look. A Welsh Corki!
He: Yeah, huh, cute.

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2 Women, Mid-Sixties:

Woman 1: Oh, how cute. A Welsh Corki.
Woman 2: Not 'Corki', 'Corgi'. You're thinking of that retahted kid on that TV show.
Woman 1: Oh yeah. 'CorGEE'. (Laughs) I said 'Corki'. Isn't that funny?
Woman 2: Yeah, you're funny.

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2 Women, Late Thirties:

Woman 1: How adorable.
Woman 2: What a cutie.
Woman 1: You know he looks just like that dog from 'Frasier'.
Woman 2: No he doesn't, you idiot.
Woman 1: No, I guess not.
Woman 2: That's a Jack Russell Terrier. They look nothing alike.
Woman 1: No, I guess they don't.

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A Man and Wife, 3 kids:

Man: Ooh, a Welsh Corbi.
Wife: How cute. Let the kids see.
(Frodo growls at kids.)
Man: Moving right along...

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2 Teenagers:

Kid 1: Hey, man, what's in the baggie?
Me: Here, it's yours.
Kid 1: No way, man.
Kid 2: What happened to your dog's legs?
Kid 1: Where's the rest of his legs?
Me: I sold them at the meat market. Times are rough.
Kid 1: Aw, man.
(I walk on.)
Kid 2: Did you see that dog's legs?
Kid 1: Yeah.

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Older woman down the street:

(She watches Frodo pee.)
Woman: Sure does take his time, doesn't he?
Me: Yup.
Woman: Doesn't he know it's cold out?
Me: Probably.
Woman: Looks like he's gonna fall over.
Me: Yeah.

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Frodo goes up to man in his driveway who looks and sounds like James Gandolfini from 'The Sopranos'. Frodo stands right under his butt and barks. Man jumps.

Man: Whoa! What's this? (He turns.) You barking at me, you little sh!t?! Trying to get my attention, you short fu ck? Come here. (Man pets dog as I crap my jeans.) Man, this is a cute dog. I love dogs. You're a little cutie, ain't ya. Ain't ya?
(Frodo wags his butt happily.)