Flying Ninja Squirrel of Death

Gemini Cricket · 02-17-2006, 10:50 AM

This is the story I promised Ponine:

I have a 15 minute walk from my house to the T station at Davis Square every morning. It's an okay walk, you go by some really pretty houses and trees.

Often, during this walk, you get stuck behind someone who is trying to get to work in their work shoes despite there being ice and snow on the ground. They'll slow down at every puddle, icy spot and curb just so they don't get their shoes wet or dirty. When you can, you go around. Sometimes, because of the traffic or snow on the sidewalk, you can't.

One morning I was trapped walking behind a lady with nice shoes and incredibly big hair. She had a big, round permed hairdo that I can only describe as being the same do my aunts had in the 70's. Almost an afro of sorts. This poor woman looked like she was having an awful day already and it was only 7:15 in the morning. Little did I know that he day was about to get worse.
I was not in a rush so I followed her for a couple of blocks.

There's a house on the corner of one of the streets that has a hedge around it that is about 15 feet high. It's still green with leaves and hard to see through. A total privacy thing for the owners. The sidewalk runs past the hedge. On the other side of the hedge is a phone pole. Between the pole and the hedge is room for only one person to get through.

So, the lady, having contended with a puddle sheepishly walked forward between the pole and hedge.

Then it happened.

Out of nowhere, a squirrel leaps out of the hedge at the lady. But the way he did it is hilarious. He jumped with all four of his paws sticking straight forward, parallel with the ground. It was like he was frozen that way and someone inside the hedge threw him. He made a sort of hissing, clicking noise and with two of his paws grabbed hold of the mondo afro. Uses her hair to circle her head and leap back into the hedge.

The woman screamed and her head and torso leaned into the hedge until I couldn't see it anymore. It happened so fast that it looked like the squirrel had held onto her hair to drag her into the hedge. But, he didn't. It just looked that way. She pulled herself back out and hollered again.

As soon as I saw that she was fine, I couldn't help but laugh. I'm the meanest person in the world. I cracked up.

She ran to get past the hedge and as she did, the squirrel leaped from the hedge again, four paws straight style, onto the phone pole and climbed all the way up.

Man, it was the funniest thing I had seen in awhile.

Not Afraid · 02-17-2006, 10:54 AM

That's a beautiful story! Squirrels are funnier than cats!

Gemini Cricket · 02-17-2006, 10:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

That's a beautiful story! Squirrels are funnier than cats!

They totally are. And here they are pretty aggressive when it's snowing and they're scrounging for food.

Snowflake · 02-17-2006, 11:00 AM

OMG, that is the funniest story! I could envision the whole scenario!
Prcieless!

Gemini Cricket · 02-17-2006, 11:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Snowflake

OMG, that is the funniest story! I could envision the whole scenario!
Prcieless!

I'm laughing now about it still. I mean, the squirrel must have thought her head was a tree or bush or something. That's funny.

Not Afraid · 02-17-2006, 11:09 AM

I've got a couple of squirell stories as well. I'll have to share later (if I haven't already).

Ponine · 02-17-2006, 11:28 AM

I'm speechless.............

I'm giggling uncontrollably every time I think about him, and I'm still speechless.

(But no, you are not the meanest person in the world. I mean HOW could you NOT have laughed?)

Gemini Cricket · 02-17-2006, 11:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ponine

(But no, you are not the meanest person in the world. I mean HOW could you NOT have laughed?)

You're right, it was really danged funny. I couldn't help myself.

Cadaverous Pallor · 02-17-2006, 12:50 PM

Anyone who does their hair in a style resembling a shrub gets what they deserve

wendybeth · 02-17-2006, 09:20 PM

Omg, even the squirrels are meaner back East!

Great story, GC!

02-17-2006, 10:50 AM	#1
Gemini Cricket ... Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 13,244	Flying Ninja Squirrel of Death This is the story I promised Ponine: I have a 15 minute walk from my house to the T station at Davis Square every morning. It's an okay walk, you go by some really pretty houses and trees. Often, during this walk, you get stuck behind someone who is trying to get to work in their work shoes despite there being ice and snow on the ground. They'll slow down at every puddle, icy spot and curb just so they don't get their shoes wet or dirty. When you can, you go around. Sometimes, because of the traffic or snow on the sidewalk, you can't. One morning I was trapped walking behind a lady with nice shoes and incredibly big hair. She had a big, round permed hairdo that I can only describe as being the same do my aunts had in the 70's. Almost an afro of sorts. This poor woman looked like she was having an awful day already and it was only 7:15 in the morning. Little did I know that he day was about to get worse. I was not in a rush so I followed her for a couple of blocks. There's a house on the corner of one of the streets that has a hedge around it that is about 15 feet high. It's still green with leaves and hard to see through. A total privacy thing for the owners. The sidewalk runs past the hedge. On the other side of the hedge is a phone pole. Between the pole and the hedge is room for only one person to get through. So, the lady, having contended with a puddle sheepishly walked forward between the pole and hedge. Then it happened. Out of nowhere, a squirrel leaps out of the hedge at the lady. But the way he did it is hilarious. He jumped with all four of his paws sticking straight forward, parallel with the ground. It was like he was frozen that way and someone inside the hedge threw him. He made a sort of hissing, clicking noise and with two of his paws grabbed hold of the mondo afro. Uses her hair to circle her head and leap back into the hedge. The woman screamed and her head and torso leaned into the hedge until I couldn't see it anymore. It happened so fast that it looked like the squirrel had held onto her hair to drag her into the hedge. But, he didn't. It just looked that way. She pulled herself back out and hollered again. As soon as I saw that she was fine, I couldn't help but laugh. I'm the meanest person in the world. I cracked up. She ran to get past the hedge and as she did, the squirrel leaped from the hedge again, four paws straight style, onto the phone pole and climbed all the way up. Man, it was the funniest thing I had seen in awhile.
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02-17-2006, 10:54 AM	#2
Not Afraid HI! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 17,108	That's a beautiful story! Squirrels are funnier than cats!
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02-17-2006, 11:00 AM	#4
Snowflake lost in the fog Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: San Francisco Posts: 7,831	OMG, that is the funniest story! I could envision the whole scenario! Prcieless! __________________ Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde
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02-17-2006, 11:09 AM	#6
Not Afraid HI! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 17,108	I've got a couple of squirell stories as well. I'll have to share later (if I haven't already).
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02-17-2006, 11:28 AM	#7
Ponine Virgin Ears Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: San Diego Posts: 2,075	I'm speechless............. I'm giggling uncontrollably every time I think about him, and I'm still speechless. (But no, you are not the meanest person in the world. I mean HOW could you NOT have laughed?) __________________ There's something strange, There's something wrong. I see a change - It's like when love dies.
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02-17-2006, 12:50 PM	#9
Cadaverous Pallor ohhhh baby Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Parental Bliss Posts: 12,364	Anyone who does their hair in a style resembling a shrub gets what they deserve __________________ The second star to the right shines in the night for you
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02-17-2006, 09:20 PM	#10
wendybeth Nevermind Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,847	Omg, even the squirrels are meaner back East! Great story, GC! __________________
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