A milestone in my career

Ghoulish Delight · 03-08-2006, 02:48 PM

For those who don't know, my job is to, well, test stuff. The engineers in my company design new products, write new software drivers and/or firmware for products, etc. I take that software and run it through the paces to make sure there's nothing glaringly wrong and to make sure they fixed what they were supposed to fix before we make it available to customers.

One of the great joys in the life of a veteran test engineer is when marketing comes up with a new product, or new use for a product, for us to test. This is not because we're excited to see the amazing new technology. Oh no. This is because someone, the test engineer with the most knowledge in the areas that the new product deals with, gets the honor of soundly ripping the product to shreds for one (or more) of several reasons. "No one needs that." "It 'solves' a problem that doesn't exist." "That's a stupid solution to the problem." "It's technically impossible and will never work right." "I really don't want to do the work it's gonna take to test this thing!"

Today, my friends, was my day. It was a critique of the "It 'solves' a problem that doesn't exist" variety. I first saw a demo of ths product a couple weeks ago and have been wracking my brain trying to figure out what I was missing. And I finally realized I was missing nothing, that what marketing is claiming this product solves is a gross misrepresentation of how things work. And so today, as I met with managers and a handful of other engineers to discuss our testing strategy, I waited for my moment, and unleashed my assault. And it was glorious. Point by point I showed that from a technical standpoint, this product does absolutely nothing, no matter what marketing says. And in the end, everyone in the room could do nothing but agree with me.

Mind you, we testers never expect anything to actually come of our arguments. In truth, we're marketing's bitches. If they want it to be a product, it will be a product, and we'll test it. Our only goal in making these stands are for, "I told you so" rights when the market doesn't instantly latch on to the product, saying exactly what we've been saying from the beginning.

But oh, the satisfaction of knowing I'm right is intoxicating. And this surely has earned the respect of my peers, as I've now proven myself sufficiently cynical in their eyes.

This isn't to say the product won't be successful. As we all know, the customer may always be right, but they sure as hell aren't always smart. Plus, this product does have some superficial value to it, purely from an ease-of-use perspective. But that's not the angle marketing is pushing, they're pushing a technical angle that doesn't actually exist. For shame.

mousepod · 03-08-2006, 03:11 PM

I know what it's like to have a job where your successful completion of a task automatically generates antipathy from every other department. Everyone pretends to want "truth" and "facts" but no one is really interested in hearing them.

Kudos to you for having your moment in the sun. Savor the feeling. Try to remember it, however fleeting it might be. And when it's gone, remember that you're the one who does the "right thing" more often than not.

BarTopDancer · 03-08-2006, 03:36 PM

You must spread some Mojo around before giving it to Ghoulish Delight again.

I hear ya buddy. I hear ya. Enjoy it. Savor it. Remember it.

Moonliner · 03-08-2006, 03:50 PM

I don't know, it sounds like a fairly interesting product... Put me down for 20 please, just in case.

Kevy Baby · 03-08-2006, 04:07 PM

So, what you are saying is that it is a good day for you when you get to screw up someone else's day. Tee hee.

Ghoulish Delight · 03-08-2006, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

So, what you are saying is that it is a good day for you when you get to screw up someone else's day. Tee hee.

Not really. We don't even bother arguing with marketing about such things. By the time it gets downstream to us, they've already made press releases and comitted capitol and resources. Ain't no one stopping the train. So really, it just brightens the day of us testers as it reafirms our intellectual superiority.

Ponine · 03-08-2006, 04:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghoulish Delight

So really, it just brightens the day of us testers as it reafirms our intellectual superiority.

Testers, bask in your day! Glad you were able to have this moment.

MouseWife · 03-09-2006, 11:00 AM

Well congrats.

Oh, yes, it is sweeet to be right and have physical proof that you are is the cherry on top.

Cadaverous Pallor · 03-09-2006, 12:00 PM

Heehee, I love my smartass told-you-so husband.

I can't believe that the company would already have the marketing train running before they even tested the thing.

Business is stupid.

€uroMeinke · 03-09-2006, 07:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

Heehee, I love my smartass told-you-so husband.

I can't believe that the company would already have the marketing train running before they even tested the thing.

Business is stupid.

heh heh what about the cutomers that already bought it

03-08-2006, 02:48 PM	#1
Ghoulish Delight I Floop the Pig Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Alternative Swankstyle Posts: 19,348	A milestone in my career For those who don't know, my job is to, well, test stuff. The engineers in my company design new products, write new software drivers and/or firmware for products, etc. I take that software and run it through the paces to make sure there's nothing glaringly wrong and to make sure they fixed what they were supposed to fix before we make it available to customers. One of the great joys in the life of a veteran test engineer is when marketing comes up with a new product, or new use for a product, for us to test. This is not because we're excited to see the amazing new technology. Oh no. This is because someone, the test engineer with the most knowledge in the areas that the new product deals with, gets the honor of soundly ripping the product to shreds for one (or more) of several reasons. "No one needs that." "It 'solves' a problem that doesn't exist." "That's a stupid solution to the problem." "It's technically impossible and will never work right." "I really don't want to do the work it's gonna take to test this thing!" Today, my friends, was my day. It was a critique of the "It 'solves' a problem that doesn't exist" variety. I first saw a demo of ths product a couple weeks ago and have been wracking my brain trying to figure out what I was missing. And I finally realized I was missing nothing, that what marketing is claiming this product solves is a gross misrepresentation of how things work. And so today, as I met with managers and a handful of other engineers to discuss our testing strategy, I waited for my moment, and unleashed my assault. And it was glorious. Point by point I showed that from a technical standpoint, this product does absolutely nothing, no matter what marketing says. And in the end, everyone in the room could do nothing but agree with me. Mind you, we testers never expect anything to actually come of our arguments. In truth, we're marketing's bitches. If they want it to be a product, it will be a product, and we'll test it. Our only goal in making these stands are for, "I told you so" rights when the market doesn't instantly latch on to the product, saying exactly what we've been saying from the beginning. But oh, the satisfaction of knowing I'm right is intoxicating. And this surely has earned the respect of my peers, as I've now proven myself sufficiently cynical in their eyes. This isn't to say the product won't be successful. As we all know, the customer may always be right, but they sure as hell aren't always smart. Plus, this product does have some superficial value to it, purely from an ease-of-use perspective. But that's not the angle marketing is pushing, they're pushing a technical angle that doesn't actually exist. For shame. __________________ 'He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me.' -TJ
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03-08-2006, 03:11 PM	#2
mousepod You broke your Ramadar! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 4,635	I know what it's like to have a job where your successful completion of a task automatically generates antipathy from every other department. Everyone pretends to want "truth" and "facts" but no one is really interested in hearing them. Kudos to you for having your moment in the sun. Savor the feeling. Try to remember it, however fleeting it might be. And when it's gone, remember that you're the one who does the "right thing" more often than not. __________________ "Give the public everything you can give them, keep the place as clean as you can keep it, keep it friendly" - Walt Disney
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03-08-2006, 03:36 PM	#3
BarTopDancer Prepping... Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Here, there, everywhere Posts: 11,405	You must spread some Mojo around before giving it to Ghoulish Delight again. I hear ya buddy. I hear ya. Enjoy it. Savor it. Remember it. __________________ Spork is the new MacGyver Postcards From My Edge
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03-08-2006, 03:50 PM	#4
Moonliner 8/30/14 - Disneyland -10k or Bust. Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 9,022	I don't know, it sounds like a fairly interesting product... Put me down for 20 please, just in case. __________________ - Taking it one step at a time.
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03-08-2006, 04:07 PM	#5
Kevy Baby Chowder Head Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Yes Posts: 18,500	So, what you are saying is that it is a good day for you when you get to screw up someone else's day. Tee hee. __________________ The thing about quotes on the internet is that you cannot verify their validity. - Abraham Lincoln
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03-09-2006, 11:00 AM	#8
MouseWife Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Da' Beach Posts: 2,957	Well congrats. Oh, yes, it is sweeet to be right and have physical proof that you are is the cherry on top. __________________ Summa' time....when the livins' easy.........
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03-09-2006, 12:00 PM	#9
Cadaverous Pallor ohhhh baby Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Parental Bliss Posts: 12,364	Heehee, I love my smartass told-you-so husband. I can't believe that the company would already have the marketing train running before they even tested the thing. Business is stupid. __________________ The second star to the right shines in the night for you
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