The Eyes of Mara

[Gemini Cricket]

Last night was pretty amazing. Ralphie and I went to see a talk given by Mara Keisling at Harvard University. She was annouced as person of the year by Harvard’s Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, Transgender, and Supporters Alliance last night.

Mara Keisling is the Executive Director of the National Center of Transgender Equality in DC.
This is from their site:

The National Center for Transgender Equality is a national social justice organization devoted to ending discrimination and violence against transgender people through education and advocacy on national issues of importance to transgender people.

By empowering transgender people and our allies to educate and influence policymakers and others, NCTE facilitates a strong and clear voice for transgender equality in our nation's capital and around the country.

I have seen a ton of good and bad speakers, but what struck me about Ms. Keisling's speech was that she had a great presence. I'm not sure how to explain it. Some people have it, some people don't. Some people walk into a room before a speech and they have this aura about them. Anyway, whatever she had, it was something that I hope to get. She introduced herself personally to everyone in the crowd. And there were about 50 or so people in the room. I thought that was pretty cool.

Her speech regarding the state of GLBT rights in our country was surprisingly optimistic. I tend to be a glass half empty kind of guy and was empowered by her positive outlook on how our civil rights in this country was improving, albeit too slow for many people's tastes.

One huge aspect of her speech (that I hadn't thought of but completely agreed with) was that the GLBT community needs to embrace the grey areas of patriotism and faith in our country. She said that often outspoken leaders of gay activism do not acknowledge the patriotic and/or church going members of their own community. I agree. She also said that the people who are fighting for GLBT rights and marriage equality should also speak out against racism. Saying that it's okay to joke about black people means that it's also okay to joke about a tranny. I totally agree.

Afterwards, we got to go to the Harvard Faculty Club for dessert and coffee/tea. It's a really cool club in a fancy old mansion on campus. A bit to highbrow for my tastes, but it was neat to see the overstuffed chairs and professors walking around.

During that time, I got to speak to Ms. Keisling personally. I spoke to her of my fading optimism with gay rights efforts in this country and she countered it by saying that everyone involved in our fight is important. The biggest challenge is that all of the anti-gay groups have five times as much money as an organization like HRC does. But she also said that money doesn't always equal victories. She told me to keep up the letter writing and calls to my polticians but not to forget about doing the things that keeps my creative heart strong.

It was the right interaction at the right time for me.

Best of all, Keisling has a way of giving you this eye contact that tells you a few things:

1. She's listening.
2. She's not full of sh!t.
3. She doesn't take sh!t.
4. She has a big heart.

I think that's pretty amazing.

She's definitely one of my heroes right now.

The funniest part about last night was that Ralphie and I got our picture taken for the Harvard Crimson newspaper standing with Ms. Keisling.

It's here. The backs of our heads are featured. I was thinking, 'God, I have a huuuge head!'

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Originally Posted by Gemini Cricket

Saying that it's okay to joke about black people means that it's also okay to joke about a tranny.

Yes! It is okay to joke about Blacks. It is okay to joke about lesbians. It is okay to joke about the handicapped. It is okay to joke about Muslims. Once we lose our sense of humor and/or the ability to laugh at ourselves, our society is truly doomed!

I've seen way too many "activists" who are so dour and morose, I think they are having a negative impact on their cause because they can't get over themselves and unclench their sphincters.

[Gemini Cricket]

Originally Posted by SzczerbiakManiac

I've seen way too many "activists" who are so dour and morose, I think they are having a negative impact on their cause because they can't get over themselves and unclench their sphincters.

I agree. Ralphie dragged me to this lecture initially. I was tired of being beaten over the head by 'You gotta do this...' and 'You can't do that...' Too preachy... bleh. But...

The thing is is that she did have a sense of humor. But her humor wasn't based on the idea that someone needed to be the butt of a joke because of their race, sexual orientation, etc. Her presentation was funny.

But you're right, I think there are political correctness that goes too far, but there are also some PC standards that need to be adhered to also. I mean, it is PC not to say ni**er any more... and that's a good thing.

[alphabassettgrrl]

I see it as the difference between sensitivity and PC. Sensitive is good, PC is too much. Sensitive is not making the black guy the butt of the joke; PC is refusing to acknowledge that he is in fact black.

Glad to hear you enjoyed the lecture.

[Gemini Cricket]

'Sensitive' is a good word for it.

[blueerica]

I think there's a difference in having fun and making someone a butt of a joke.

Case in point: There's this new girl at my store, Stacey. She was kind of shy at first, but she tells me she has the same polo shirt I was wearing. I jump straight into teenager mode, jump up and down and say: "OH MY GAWD! We totally have to wear it on the same day! We'll be like TWINS!! They'll never be able to tell us apart!"

She paused. I don't think she knew what to say - she's black - and when I say black, I don't mean caramel. We're talking dark like the coffee I brew. Obviously, not a lot of people "go there" with her, out of sensitivity, out of fear, or maybe even some sense of shame (which is wrong, too!) passed down. After a moment, she laughed, and I got to know a whole different Stacey.

She's not the butt of the joke here - maybe in a sense, I was. I put myself there, after all.

I was told by a co-worker that she hated when she was called "my black friend" and I would also assume that applies to anyone in any "different" type of community. Ideally, someone's my friend - minus the prefix.

[Not Afraid]

Originally Posted by blueerica

I was told by a co-worker that she hated when she was called "my black friend" and I would also assume that applies to anyone in any "different" type of community. Ideally, someone's my friend - minus the prefix.

Is it because she doesn't like the term "black" and would prefer African American or is it that she doesn't like to be singled out by her defining features.

[blueerica]

She didn't mind the term or the use of the word black. It' that she's a black friend, as though to separate, or to give the speaker of the phrase some sort of moral highground because they have a "black friend."

[blueerica]

I should mention that I didn't say it... but that a patient had said it.

[Not Afraid]

Gotcha.