Pole Dancing

Eliza Hodgkins 1812 · 04-16-2007, 06:09 PM

Yesterday I was invited to dine with Heidi and Tom at their pad in Thai Town Hollywood. The last time I visited, I underestimated travel time and was late. This time, I left early and was thirty minutes ahead of schedule. I decided to take a walk up Western, turning right onto Franklin, one of my favorite streets in the neighborhood. I love the Los Feliz area. It smells so good there; the trees and flowers are fragrant. Nice place to bide some time rather than show up someplace unexpected. Night blooming Jasmine is about the only scent I can identify, but there are verdant smells combined with floral and citrus. Perfumes envy certain streets in Los Feliz.

Most of the view was to my left, so I was walking ahead, glancing to my left, sometimes pausing but mostly walking as I looked. As I neared the street where Heidi lives, the sizes of the houses on Franklin grew exponentially to match their price. They were also more garish. The newer the money, the poorer the taste. Maybe a nouveau riche stereotype but here is further evidence. Homes that were once of their time, heart, hearth and elegant but not outlandish, have been made over or built anew to resemble replicated palazzios in miniature.

One house in particular stood out. Pale blue with cream trim, the house stands proud on a hill with twin staircases climbing in parallel before they unite at the base of a gigantic nude statue. The original is probably beautiful, but replicated in front of a tacky house the statue was a horrible site to behold despite being a stone cold hottie. And just as I was beginning to wonder if the sculpture had struck a latent homosexual cord

TWACK

Imagine a cartoon character skiing into a tree.

Imagine a Star Trek episode where a character runs unknowingly into a force field.

I bounced back with my head still turned to the left, a sharp pain in my right temple and in my groin. As I started at this monstrous contribution to contemporary Los Angeles architecture, I had walked directly into a metal street sign. My stride had full momentum. 145 pounds of me crashed into a blunt stationary object. I didn’t see stars or hear birds but there was a blinding flash of light followed by a complete absence of feeling. I may have momentarily left my body. Then I doubled over, rubbed the spot, moaned a bit and wondered if my right pupil was blown out.

Not theatrics, I was only wondering. It was pretty obvious that I’d simply bumped myself somewhat badly but without serious injury, excepting my seriously injured pride.

But no one saw. That was the upside. Unless a car was driving by, its passengers snickering as they drove away, this was a bit o’ incognito slapstick.

Also, for the record, this is the third time I have done something like this.

Not Afraid · 04-16-2007, 06:16 PM

I am sooooo happy you were not seriously injured because, I would feel VERY badly about laughing right now. That's a truely great story.

innerSpaceman · 04-16-2007, 06:55 PM

I think you should egg that house next time you go by.

Be wary of the statue, tho. She obviously has hidden goddess powers of revenge for insulting thoughts.

blueerica · 04-16-2007, 07:51 PM

Your words were so descriptive, reading it felt close to just being there. I could only imagine the real thing being even better.

And also, I read "at their pad in Thai Town" as Pad Thai.

I must be having a massive Thai food hankering.

yum.

Bornieo: Fully Loaded · 04-16-2007, 08:00 PM

I think we all need to pich in and get you a metal detector.

Good stuff!

Ghoulish Delight · 04-16-2007, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by blueerica

And also, I read "at their pad in Thai Town" as Pad Thai.

Yay, my brain's not the only one that's broken! It took me three tries to get through that sentence without grinding to a halt trying to figure that out.

Cadaverous Pallor · 04-16-2007, 08:30 PM

You're not alone.

I can't stop laughing at this....here I thought this thread was going to be about how you're going to hit up amateur's night at a strip club.

Glad to know you're ok....ow.

wendybeth · 04-16-2007, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

I am sooooo happy you were not seriously injured because, I would feel VERY badly about laughing right now. That's a truely great story.

What she said.

(Is it wrong that my first response was going to be "Did it have a funny smell"? My second though was "Welcome to my world- I am a legendary klutz).

LSPoorEeyorick · 04-16-2007, 08:56 PM

My poor beloved klutz. I drove by that house this morning and thought of you!

Also, nice to see you essaying again. I know we're busy at work, but it's always nice to read a story of yours whenever you're able to tell it.

innerSpaceman · 04-16-2007, 09:00 PM

Yes, it's almost worth (to me, at least) whatever pitfalls may befall poor EH, just so we can be treated to a wonderfully told tale.

04-16-2007, 06:09 PM	#1
Eliza Hodgkins 1812 Sputnik Sweetheart Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Long Beach Posts: 2,685	Pole Dancing Yesterday I was invited to dine with Heidi and Tom at their pad in Thai Town Hollywood. The last time I visited, I underestimated travel time and was late. This time, I left early and was thirty minutes ahead of schedule. I decided to take a walk up Western, turning right onto Franklin, one of my favorite streets in the neighborhood. I love the Los Feliz area. It smells so good there; the trees and flowers are fragrant. Nice place to bide some time rather than show up someplace unexpected. Night blooming Jasmine is about the only scent I can identify, but there are verdant smells combined with floral and citrus. Perfumes envy certain streets in Los Feliz. Most of the view was to my left, so I was walking ahead, glancing to my left, sometimes pausing but mostly walking as I looked. As I neared the street where Heidi lives, the sizes of the houses on Franklin grew exponentially to match their price. They were also more garish. The newer the money, the poorer the taste. Maybe a nouveau riche stereotype but here is further evidence. Homes that were once of their time, heart, hearth and elegant but not outlandish, have been made over or built anew to resemble replicated palazzios in miniature. One house in particular stood out. Pale blue with cream trim, the house stands proud on a hill with twin staircases climbing in parallel before they unite at the base of a gigantic nude statue. The original is probably beautiful, but replicated in front of a tacky house the statue was a horrible site to behold despite being a stone cold hottie. And just as I was beginning to wonder if the sculpture had struck a latent homosexual cord TWACK Imagine a cartoon character skiing into a tree. Imagine a Star Trek episode where a character runs unknowingly into a force field. I bounced back with my head still turned to the left, a sharp pain in my right temple and in my groin. As I started at this monstrous contribution to contemporary Los Angeles architecture, I had walked directly into a metal street sign. My stride had full momentum. 145 pounds of me crashed into a blunt stationary object. I didn’t see stars or hear birds but there was a blinding flash of light followed by a complete absence of feeling. I may have momentarily left my body. Then I doubled over, rubbed the spot, moaned a bit and wondered if my right pupil was blown out. Not theatrics, I was only wondering. It was pretty obvious that I’d simply bumped myself somewhat badly but without serious injury, excepting my seriously injured pride. But no one saw. That was the upside. Unless a car was driving by, its passengers snickering as they drove away, this was a bit o’ incognito slapstick. Also, for the record, this is the third time I have done something like this.
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04-16-2007, 06:16 PM	#2
Not Afraid HI! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 17,108	I am sooooo happy you were not seriously injured because, I would feel VERY badly about laughing right now. That's a truely great story.
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04-16-2007, 06:55 PM	#3
innerSpaceman Kink of Swank Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Inner Space Posts: 13,075	I think you should egg that house next time you go by. Be wary of the statue, tho. She obviously has hidden goddess powers of revenge for insulting thoughts.
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04-16-2007, 07:51 PM	#4
blueerica Nueve Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 6,497	Your words were so descriptive, reading it felt close to just being there. I could only imagine the real thing being even better. And also, I read "at their pad in Thai Town" as Pad Thai. I must be having a massive Thai food hankering. yum. __________________ Tomorrow is the day for you and me
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04-16-2007, 08:00 PM	#5
Bornieo: Fully Loaded Lego Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Disneyland, USA Posts: 3,704	I think we all need to pich in and get you a metal detector. Good stuff!
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04-16-2007, 08:30 PM	#7
Cadaverous Pallor ohhhh baby Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Parental Bliss Posts: 12,364	You're not alone. I can't stop laughing at this....here I thought this thread was going to be about how you're going to hit up amateur's night at a strip club. Glad to know you're ok....ow. __________________ The second star to the right shines in the night for you
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04-16-2007, 08:56 PM	#9
LSPoorEeyorick scribblin' Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: in the moment Posts: 3,872	My poor beloved klutz. I drove by that house this morning and thought of you! Also, nice to see you essaying again. I know we're busy at work, but it's always nice to read a story of yours whenever you're able to tell it.
	Submit to Quotes

04-16-2007, 09:00 PM	#10
innerSpaceman Kink of Swank Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Inner Space Posts: 13,075	Yes, it's almost worth (to me, at least) whatever pitfalls may befall poor EH, just so we can be treated to a wonderfully told tale.
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