Mortality

Sub la Goon · 12-22-2007, 04:34 AM

It's probably been 24 hours since my first wife, Carolyn, died. At least that's what I can guess from talking to our 17 YO daughter, Louise, and the police woman who was there.

I got a call yesterday (Friday) night at around 5:30. It was a paramedic in Pasadena informing me that Carolyn had passed away in the night and Louise was there alone. Except for cops and parameds. Carolyn's husband, Jon, could not be reached and is in northern California anyway. The paramed put me on the line with Louise - who sounded so normal. I said I would be right there and the paramed told me not to rush. They would not leave my daughter alone.

Traffic from Thousand Oaks to Pasadena was ugly at times but I made it at around 7PM. Louise had 4 friends in the living room, playing on her laptop and being silly high school kids. I hugged her for a long time and said how sorry I was.

In the diing room, the police officer, Mary, and I had a talk about Carolyn's mental health problems, bipolarism, and her long-ago overdose and self mutilation. She said there were numerous prescription bottles in the bedroom with Carolyn. All empty and from various doctors. The coroner was on the way and would be there shortly. Carolyn was 42, the same age as me.

She asked if I would like to see her and I did. Carolyn was lying face up in bed and her color made it obvious she was deceased. Her skin was mottled grey and mouth all discolored purple. Lividity. I have heard that term in so many crime shows and I don't really know what it means. Thanks, Google. Looking at her, all I could say was how sorry I was. I should have been stronger for her. Mary asked if I wanted a moment alone. I did not. I wanted to touch Carolyn but I could not bring myself to. She obviously died in her sleep. Eyes closed and mouth almost smiling. On the floor next to her was an old drivers license from NY, at least 10 years ago. I stared at that picture of her. She was so lovely and alive. That is how I want to remember her.

Carolyn's dad showed up and was very casual about the whole affair. I overheard him tell his youngest daughter in very simple terms that her sister was dead. Louise and her friends took off after the coroner appeared. She did not want to see her mom carted off in a van. I made the walk with Carolyn instead. She was in a plastic bag by that time and covered with a blue Coroner cover. Both my ex father in law and I got Mary's business card and the case numer. I called Louise and had her friends bring her back.

We stopped at my second wife's apartment to borrow her air mattress and pump. The 6YO twin girls were up and giddy to see Louise. They showed her their new bunkbeds and played Barbies with her. Wife #2 fed me, even though I could hardly choke anything down.

Now Louise and I are back in my room. I am on the air mattress typing and she is listening to her iPod in bed. I overheard her telling a friend on the phone about how she disvovered her mom at around 5PM and she knew immediately that she was gone. The first thing she could see was through the doorway was her impossibly pale leg. Just as I had. When she touched her cold body, it was obvious. She went outside, called 911 and told them she thought her mom was dead. The guy on the phone had her go back in to perform CPR. He wanted Louise to get Carolyn on the floor but she was heavy and stiff. She coudn't move her. He said it was OK then and that the ambulance would be there soon. They were.

From what Louise told me, she last spoke to Carolyn at about 2AM last night. Carolyn wanted water but was disoriented. She had been sick recently. Louise got the water for her and went to bed. She didn't want to wake her mom when she woke at noon, so she went and worked out at the gym and met with friends. From all indications, Carolyn passed away some time between 2:30 and 4 AM.

Just about 24 hours ago.

Moonliner · 12-22-2007, 08:56 AM

Damn. My sympathies Sub.

Snowflake · 12-22-2007, 09:00 AM

Oh Sub, I'm so sorry. Condolences to you and your family.

Stan4dSteph · 12-22-2007, 09:23 AM

Sorry for your loss.

wendybeth · 12-22-2007, 09:29 AM

My condolences as well, especially to your daughter. She's going to have a hard time with this, even if she is trying to act like she's not. I'm sorry she had to be the one to find her- what an awful thing to happen.

Betty · 12-22-2007, 09:38 AM

So sorry for your loss.

innerSpaceman · 12-22-2007, 09:55 AM

oh, so sorry Sub. This is so sad and tragic.

I hope Louise will be alright. From the sounds of it, she may be in shock.

I find this quite shocking myself. And my sympathies are with you and your family.

scaeagles · 12-22-2007, 10:13 AM

Oh my lord.

When I first started reading this, I thought you had made a type and meant 24 years.....I'm so sorry.

Prayers for Louise.

Kevy Baby · 12-22-2007, 10:18 AM

There are no words at a time like this. My condolences SLG to you and your daughter. Please let us know if there is anything we can do.

Ghoulish Delight · 12-22-2007, 10:45 AM

I'm so sorry. I hope you and the rest of her family and friends that survive her find comfort in each other.

12-22-2007, 04:34 AM	#1
Sub la Goon Ride me! Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: The line forms here... Posts: 326	Mortality It's probably been 24 hours since my first wife, Carolyn, died. At least that's what I can guess from talking to our 17 YO daughter, Louise, and the police woman who was there. I got a call yesterday (Friday) night at around 5:30. It was a paramedic in Pasadena informing me that Carolyn had passed away in the night and Louise was there alone. Except for cops and parameds. Carolyn's husband, Jon, could not be reached and is in northern California anyway. The paramed put me on the line with Louise - who sounded so normal. I said I would be right there and the paramed told me not to rush. They would not leave my daughter alone. Traffic from Thousand Oaks to Pasadena was ugly at times but I made it at around 7PM. Louise had 4 friends in the living room, playing on her laptop and being silly high school kids. I hugged her for a long time and said how sorry I was. In the diing room, the police officer, Mary, and I had a talk about Carolyn's mental health problems, bipolarism, and her long-ago overdose and self mutilation. She said there were numerous prescription bottles in the bedroom with Carolyn. All empty and from various doctors. The coroner was on the way and would be there shortly. Carolyn was 42, the same age as me. She asked if I would like to see her and I did. Carolyn was lying face up in bed and her color made it obvious she was deceased. Her skin was mottled grey and mouth all discolored purple. Lividity. I have heard that term in so many crime shows and I don't really know what it means. Thanks, Google. Looking at her, all I could say was how sorry I was. I should have been stronger for her. Mary asked if I wanted a moment alone. I did not. I wanted to touch Carolyn but I could not bring myself to. She obviously died in her sleep. Eyes closed and mouth almost smiling. On the floor next to her was an old drivers license from NY, at least 10 years ago. I stared at that picture of her. She was so lovely and alive. That is how I want to remember her. Carolyn's dad showed up and was very casual about the whole affair. I overheard him tell his youngest daughter in very simple terms that her sister was dead. Louise and her friends took off after the coroner appeared. She did not want to see her mom carted off in a van. I made the walk with Carolyn instead. She was in a plastic bag by that time and covered with a blue Coroner cover. Both my ex father in law and I got Mary's business card and the case numer. I called Louise and had her friends bring her back. We stopped at my second wife's apartment to borrow her air mattress and pump. The 6YO twin girls were up and giddy to see Louise. They showed her their new bunkbeds and played Barbies with her. Wife #2 fed me, even though I could hardly choke anything down. Now Louise and I are back in my room. I am on the air mattress typing and she is listening to her iPod in bed. I overheard her telling a friend on the phone about how she disvovered her mom at around 5PM and she knew immediately that she was gone. The first thing she could see was through the doorway was her impossibly pale leg. Just as I had. When she touched her cold body, it was obvious. She went outside, called 911 and told them she thought her mom was dead. The guy on the phone had her go back in to perform CPR. He wanted Louise to get Carolyn on the floor but she was heavy and stiff. She coudn't move her. He said it was OK then and that the ambulance would be there soon. They were. From what Louise told me, she last spoke to Carolyn at about 2AM last night. Carolyn wanted water but was disoriented. She had been sick recently. Louise got the water for her and went to bed. She didn't want to wake her mom when she woke at noon, so she went and worked out at the gym and met with friends. From all indications, Carolyn passed away some time between 2:30 and 4 AM. Just about 24 hours ago. __________________ You roll the dice, you move your mice.
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12-22-2007, 08:56 AM	#2
Moonliner 8/30/14 - Disneyland -10k or Bust. Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 9,022	Damn. My sympathies Sub. __________________ - Taking it one step at a time.
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12-22-2007, 09:00 AM	#3
Snowflake lost in the fog Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: San Francisco Posts: 7,831	Oh Sub, I'm so sorry. Condolences to you and your family. __________________ Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde
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12-22-2007, 09:23 AM	#4
Stan4dSteph Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: East Bay Area, CA Posts: 3,156	Sorry for your loss.
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12-22-2007, 09:29 AM	#5
wendybeth Nevermind Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,847	My condolences as well, especially to your daughter. She's going to have a hard time with this, even if she is trying to act like she's not. I'm sorry she had to be the one to find her- what an awful thing to happen. __________________
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12-22-2007, 09:38 AM	#6
Betty Kicking up my heels! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: The Silver State Posts: 3,783	So sorry for your loss. __________________ Nee Stell Thue
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12-22-2007, 09:55 AM	#7
innerSpaceman Kink of Swank Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Inner Space Posts: 13,075	oh, so sorry Sub. This is so sad and tragic. I hope Louise will be alright. From the sounds of it, she may be in shock. I find this quite shocking myself. And my sympathies are with you and your family.
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12-22-2007, 10:13 AM	#8
scaeagles I LIKE! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,819	Oh my lord. When I first started reading this, I thought you had made a type and meant 24 years.....I'm so sorry. Prayers for Louise.
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12-22-2007, 10:18 AM	#9
Kevy Baby Chowder Head Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Yes Posts: 18,500	There are no words at a time like this. My condolences SLG to you and your daughter. Please let us know if there is anything we can do. __________________ The thing about quotes on the internet is that you cannot verify their validity. - Abraham Lincoln
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12-22-2007, 10:45 AM	#10
Ghoulish Delight I Floop the Pig Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Alternative Swankstyle Posts: 19,348	I'm so sorry. I hope you and the rest of her family and friends that survive her find comfort in each other. __________________ 'He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me.' -TJ
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