Back home? Or back from home?

Gemini Cricket · 01-17-2008, 08:53 PM

So, I just came back from a week in Hawai’i with my crazy family and my ailing grandmother. And here stands a changed man.
And as I gaze at the clock and write this, I can say that I am seriously considering moving back home to Hawai’i. And the way it feels right now, I’m going to start planning it.

But I thought it fair to weigh the pros and cons of it all.

Cons:
Film jobs are limited in HI.
Many, many of my friends are in CA.
You can’t do much of a road trip in HI.
Island fever.

Pros:
I’m lovin’ the weather in HI.
There are beautiful beaches in HI.
There are beautiful men in HI.
My fam is there.
HI was a place I wanted to retire anyway.
I don’t feel like I belong in CA.
People are nicer in HI. There’s a sincerity there that I haven’t found much of here in CA.
I’m pro-Aloha spirit.
I’m happier in HI.

I’m a nomad. I’ve been moving from place to place since 1989. And I need to settle down. I’m a nester and all this movin’ is no fun for me.

I think HI may be good for fighting my depression, too. I also think that my odds of finding a man in HI is greater.

Lately, I have been thinking about where I belong. And a big part of me feels like I don’t belong anywhere. I didn’t feel right in Monterey, I didn’t feel like I fit in in Boston and now I’m not sure about LA.

Maybe going back to school in HI is something I could do. Who knows?

Also, while I was home, I got to see a play at one of the community theatres that I performed in. It made me long to act in HI again. In fact, one of the higher-ups at the theatre asked me to seriously consider coming back.

I’m feeling like I want to be near my family, my home.

But I do feel like this could be a big fvcking mistake, too. I mean, island fever is island fever. But a boy can travel if he wants to.

One of my big hurdles will be finding a good job there and one that I’m happy with. But I also have connections there that I don’t have here.

I don’t know, I’m just thinking out loud here. It’s been at the top of my mind for several weeks now. My trip to see my grandma was something that came up that made me realize that what I was thinking was not so far fetched.

And for total selfish and superficial reasons, I can get laid-a-licious in Hawai’i.

But believe me, I’m not thinking of moving back for that reason or for a man…

I also am thinking that if Ralphie had not had an opportunity to move to Monterey from Hawai’i, that I may not have moved at all…

I don’t know. Yaddah yaddah, gabba gabba hey…

Anyone wanna gimmee their 2 cents?

Alex · 01-17-2008, 09:02 PM

Island fever (and the difficulty I have adjusting to the climate but even that happened eventually) is the only reason I know I can never again live in Hawai'i.

You've experienced the world a bit more since 1989 and so you know that sense of home there isn't just inertia.

You're not horribly settled in LA so moving wouldn't be a big hassle and if you spend three years back in Hawai'i and all this fades you can still move again and that's not a horrible outcome.

Yes, the economy for non-service jobs isn't great in Hawai'i but it exists and you'll get along. If you can afford it, going back to school would be great. The UH system isn't a world class school but it is perfectly good institution.

But really, if after years away it still feels like a home you want to return to that is a pretty strong sign (whereas when I return to my childhood home I experience some nostalgia and enjoy myself but know it is no longer a place for me).

Kevy Baby · 01-17-2008, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemini Cricket

Anyone wanna gimmee their 2 cents?

Yes: don't leave.

But that is just me being selfish.

From this post alone, it sounds like you should be going back to HI. You don't sound happy here.

And as far as if things don't work out there, as you said; you are living the vagabond life. Moving again will be simple enough for you.

Not Afraid · 01-17-2008, 09:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemini Cricket

Lately, I have been thinking about where I belong. And a big part of me feels like I don’t belong anywhere. I didn’t feel right in Monterey, I didn’t feel like I fit in in Boston and now I’m not sure about LA.

I think this is the thing that concerns me most. Are you sure you aren't just pulling another "geographic" (ie: running away to solve a problem that goes with you wherever you go)? Maybe it's not where you are living but how you are living with yourself?

(You know I've got to play Devils' Advocate here!)

Gemini Cricket · 01-17-2008, 09:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

I think this is the thing that concerns me most. Are you sure you aren't just pulling another "geographic" (ie: running away to solve a problem that goes with you wherever you go)? Maybe it's not where you are living but how you are living with yourself?

(You know I've got to play Devils' Advocate here!)

Not sure.
Could be.

wendybeth · 01-17-2008, 09:31 PM

No moving until after April, mister.

BarTopDancer · 01-17-2008, 09:44 PM

My 2 cents: Do what makes Brad happy.

But beware of sharkies there!

lashbear · 01-17-2008, 09:45 PM

Sooo, how many Disneylands are in HI ?

Bornieo: Fully Loaded · 01-18-2008, 12:58 AM

Not to get personal on my end but an anecdote of sorts. I've lived within the same 20 or so miles for 95% of my life. My family is here - pretty much everyone I know is here and I'm not a very happy person. Granted I am a totall loser and nowhere near the person I want to be, but I don't think being in another place geographicly would change much. The sun still rises in Hawaii as it does in L.A. (Only we have a choir...)

I think delving deeper into the "why's" will help you choose what's best. I'm not sure "fitting in" is that solid of a reason. Meaning, I've lived here 34 years out of 37 and I still don't fit in. But, I'm here.

There's my $3.50...

innerSpaceman · 01-18-2008, 08:06 AM

I have to agree with Not Afraid that the sense of being happier in Hawaii was likely just the blush of yummy feelings that wash over you there. As soon as the wash is done, you will still be you.

I hate to play armchair psychologist (ok, maybe I don't hate it so much) ... but happiness does not come from circumstances. It has nothing to do with where you are, what you have or what you do. It's all about who you are, who you are being.

If you have to explore that more fully by moving back to Hawaii, so be it. I think you will realize that, even with the beautiful weather, the friendllier people, the hot guys who throw themselves at you, the loving family and the home sense ... happiness does not flow from any of these things. Good mood and happiness are not quite the same thing.

Of course, I'm completely biased. I have 30 other reasons for you not to move ... but they're all pretty selfish, I guess.

I stand by the happiness thing, tho.

01-17-2008, 08:53 PM	#1
Gemini Cricket ... Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 13,244	Back home? Or back from home? So, I just came back from a week in Hawai’i with my crazy family and my ailing grandmother. And here stands a changed man. And as I gaze at the clock and write this, I can say that I am seriously considering moving back home to Hawai’i. And the way it feels right now, I’m going to start planning it. But I thought it fair to weigh the pros and cons of it all. Cons: Film jobs are limited in HI. Many, many of my friends are in CA. You can’t do much of a road trip in HI. Island fever. Pros: I’m lovin’ the weather in HI. There are beautiful beaches in HI. There are beautiful men in HI. My fam is there. HI was a place I wanted to retire anyway. I don’t feel like I belong in CA. People are nicer in HI. There’s a sincerity there that I haven’t found much of here in CA. I’m pro-Aloha spirit. I’m happier in HI. I’m a nomad. I’ve been moving from place to place since 1989. And I need to settle down. I’m a nester and all this movin’ is no fun for me. I think HI may be good for fighting my depression, too. I also think that my odds of finding a man in HI is greater. Lately, I have been thinking about where I belong. And a big part of me feels like I don’t belong anywhere. I didn’t feel right in Monterey, I didn’t feel like I fit in in Boston and now I’m not sure about LA. Maybe going back to school in HI is something I could do. Who knows? Also, while I was home, I got to see a play at one of the community theatres that I performed in. It made me long to act in HI again. In fact, one of the higher-ups at the theatre asked me to seriously consider coming back. I’m feeling like I want to be near my family, my home. But I do feel like this could be a big fvcking mistake, too. I mean, island fever is island fever. But a boy can travel if he wants to. One of my big hurdles will be finding a good job there and one that I’m happy with. But I also have connections there that I don’t have here. I don’t know, I’m just thinking out loud here. It’s been at the top of my mind for several weeks now. My trip to see my grandma was something that came up that made me realize that what I was thinking was not so far fetched. And for total selfish and superficial reasons, I can get laid-a-licious in Hawai’i. But believe me, I’m not thinking of moving back for that reason or for a man… I also am thinking that if Ralphie had not had an opportunity to move to Monterey from Hawai’i, that I may not have moved at all… I don’t know. Yaddah yaddah, gabba gabba hey… Anyone wanna gimmee their 2 cents?
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01-17-2008, 09:02 PM	#2
Alex . Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 13,354	Island fever (and the difficulty I have adjusting to the climate but even that happened eventually) is the only reason I know I can never again live in Hawai'i. You've experienced the world a bit more since 1989 and so you know that sense of home there isn't just inertia. You're not horribly settled in LA so moving wouldn't be a big hassle and if you spend three years back in Hawai'i and all this fades you can still move again and that's not a horrible outcome. Yes, the economy for non-service jobs isn't great in Hawai'i but it exists and you'll get along. If you can afford it, going back to school would be great. The UH system isn't a world class school but it is perfectly good institution. But really, if after years away it still feels like a home you want to return to that is a pretty strong sign (whereas when I return to my childhood home I experience some nostalgia and enjoy myself but know it is no longer a place for me).
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01-17-2008, 09:31 PM	#6
wendybeth Nevermind Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,847	No moving until after April, mister. __________________
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01-17-2008, 09:44 PM	#7
BarTopDancer Prepping... Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Here, there, everywhere Posts: 11,405	My 2 cents: Do what makes Brad happy. But beware of sharkies there! __________________ Spork is the new MacGyver Postcards From My Edge
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01-17-2008, 09:45 PM	#8
lashbear SwishBuckling Bear Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: In Isolation :) Posts: 6,597	Sooo, how many Disneylands are in HI ? __________________ *I Heart* my Husband - I can't think of anyone I'd rather be in isolation with.**
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01-18-2008, 12:58 AM	#9
Bornieo: Fully Loaded Lego Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Disneyland, USA Posts: 3,704	Not to get personal on my end but an anecdote of sorts. I've lived within the same 20 or so miles for 95% of my life. My family is here - pretty much everyone I know is here and I'm not a very happy person. Granted I am a totall loser and nowhere near the person I want to be, but I don't think being in another place geographicly would change much. The sun still rises in Hawaii as it does in L.A. (Only we have a choir...) I think delving deeper into the "why's" will help you choose what's best. I'm not sure "fitting in" is that solid of a reason. Meaning, I've lived here 34 years out of 37 and I still don't fit in. But, I'm here. There's my $3.50...
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01-18-2008, 08:06 AM	#10
innerSpaceman Kink of Swank Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Inner Space Posts: 13,075	I have to agree with Not Afraid that the sense of being happier in Hawaii was likely just the blush of yummy feelings that wash over you there. As soon as the wash is done, you will still be you. I hate to play armchair psychologist (ok, maybe I don't hate it so much) ... but happiness does not come from circumstances. It has nothing to do with where you are, what you have or what you do. It's all about who you are, who you are being. If you have to explore that more fully by moving back to Hawaii, so be it. I think you will realize that, even with the beautiful weather, the friendllier people, the hot guys who throw themselves at you, the loving family and the home sense ... happiness does not flow from any of these things. Good mood and happiness are not quite the same thing. Of course, I'm completely biased. I have 30 other reasons for you not to move ... but they're all pretty selfish, I guess. I stand by the happiness thing, tho.
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