An Unexpected Apology

Eliza Hodgkins 1812 · 03-14-2005, 08:56 PM

There I sat on a bench outside of the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf after work, sipping my green tea and enjoying another witty chapter of Vanity Fair. I was dressed up for work in a snug sweater fitted over a floral blouse and a brown eyelet skirt from Banana Republic, brown shoes to match and my glasses giving me a bookish accent.

I looked every bit the part of a girl who likes to sit by herself in public, ignoring the public, whilst reading a good book and drinking her tea. In other words, I looked exactly like what I normally look like in public, except better dressed this time. Even my hair was down. Down and combed!

I also looked all things proper and grown up; at least, I assume that's how I looked based on what happened next. A young guy who walked by me, vigorously swearing into his cell phone. "Nobody likes their fvcking boss. Everybody hates their fvcking boss." He was probably in his mid to early 20's. He was loud and audacious. I happened to look up at him right as one "fvck" slipped out of his mouth, and because I was torn from a particularly dishy passage in my book, I must have given him a look of annoyed surprise, which he mistook for the gaping 'O' mouth of matronly disapproval. All that was missing was an audible gasp and an, "Upon my word, young man!"

My disapproving look, I assure you, looks a lot like my face is collapsing in on itself, my eyes narrowing, my forehead transforming itself into the coat of a Shar-Pei puppy. I was fairly certain I appeared as I was, interrupted but without really caring.

Instead, he walked a couple of more steps ahead, too fast in his movement to come full stop at the time his brain first issued the command. He then, without excusing himself from the phone call, steps back towards me, faces me and opens his arms in a broad and welcoming gesture, and says, “Oh my God, I am so sorry! So sorry!” I smiled and shook my head. Prim and proper, proper and prim. I was actually touched that he suffered apoplexy over a few cuss words he thought he’d uttered too loudly, and to my great chagrin.

What a charming rouge, I thought. The rake! The adorable cad! He thought his cussing offended me, hah-hah.

And then it occurred to me that once again, some youngster just a *few* years younger than my no longer youngster years condescended to treat me like a goddamned grown-up. Like a “ma’am”. Like he’d been caught cussing by his grandmamma, the bastard!

I wish I’d had the presence of mind to say, “Don’t fvcking worry about it, buster!”

Then again, living in the often impolite society of today, his unexpected apology was more a breath of fresh air than anything else. Someone raised him right enough to care. He freely uses the sailor speak I love, but had the presence of mind to recognize that others in his surrounding may not feel the same.

Still, I’d rather not be treated like a nun in the future, thank you very much. I kinda wish he'd looked at me and recognized the inner-sailor within.

wendybeth · 03-14-2005, 09:06 PM

Hey, he didn't say "I'm so sorry, ma'am!" Mayhap he was flirting with you? Hmmm?

And if he wasn't- if it was an elder apology, then wouldn't he be surprised by the thoughts that flitted about your mind? That would have been hilarious to see his expression if you had said "Don't ****ing worry about it!"

Eliza Hodgkins 1812 · 03-14-2005, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wendybeth

Hey, he didn't say "I'm so sorry, ma'am!" Mayhap he was flirting with you? Hmmm?

And if he wasn't- if it was an elder apology, then wouldn't he be surprised by the thoughts that flitted about your mind? That would have been hilarious to see his expression if you had said "Don't ****ing worry about it!"

My parent's would sure like me to bring a nice young polite 'un back to the homestead.

Keep waiting 'rents!

Heh, actually, they don't much care about that stuff. Ah, witty rejoinders. Why must you happen after the fact EVERY time?

blueerica · 03-14-2005, 09:12 PM

Yes, if that happens again, you must have the witty retort on call!

Not Afraid · 03-14-2005, 09:20 PM

Yes, wouldn't it ALWAYS be nice to have a witty retort on call. I only have nice retort or quite the sailor retorts filled with double entendres. Or there's the direct apporach designed the shock the HELL of of the gentleman. That's my best option - and easiest option - usually. I can be ruder than you and make you blush, mister. HA!

Eliza Hodgkins 1812 · 03-14-2005, 09:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

Yes, wouldn't it ALWAYS be nice to have a witty retort on call. I only have nice retort or quite the sailor retorts filled with double entendres. Or there's the direct apporach designed the shock the HELL of of the gentleman. That's my best option - and easiest option - usually. I can be ruder than you and make you blush, mister. HA!

LOL. So, in lieu of wit, go with brazen. If only I could! If only! I fear I may be stuck with bashful shakes of the head in all unexpected social interactions.

I'm witty and brazen in my mind! I'm my own best friend. I never fail to amuse or shock myself. Le sigh.

Not Afraid · 03-14-2005, 09:48 PM

See, I'm always brazen. I have to hold back. The "rude" or inappropriate return is always on the tip of my tongue.

DisneyFan25863 · 03-14-2005, 11:30 PM

I always seem to have a retort to anything thrown my way. Problem is, no one understands them other than myself.

Though I do have a tendancy to be blunt, which is just as bad as being brazen.

By the way, "cad"?

For some reason, I was thinking cad was a North-Atlantic fish, so your sentence didn't make sense the first few times I read it

Kevy Baby · 03-14-2005, 11:48 PM

Why is it you think of the killer retort 20 minutes after you walk away from a situation?

It woulda just slayed 'em!

mhrc4 · 03-15-2005, 10:10 AM

would have been hilarious to hear you blurt out "dont fvcking worry about it"

usually I am good with quick comebacks, but at times when you are shocked that something like that would cause an apology, a witty comeback probably wasnt the easiest thing to come up with

03-14-2005, 08:56 PM	#1
Eliza Hodgkins 1812 Sputnik Sweetheart Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Long Beach Posts: 2,685	An Unexpected Apology There I sat on a bench outside of the Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf after work, sipping my green tea and enjoying another witty chapter of Vanity Fair. I was dressed up for work in a snug sweater fitted over a floral blouse and a brown eyelet skirt from Banana Republic, brown shoes to match and my glasses giving me a bookish accent. I looked every bit the part of a girl who likes to sit by herself in public, ignoring the public, whilst reading a good book and drinking her tea. In other words, I looked exactly like what I normally look like in public, except better dressed this time. Even my hair was down. Down and combed! I also looked all things proper and grown up; at least, I assume that's how I looked based on what happened next. A young guy who walked by me, vigorously swearing into his cell phone. "Nobody likes their fvcking boss. Everybody hates their fvcking boss." He was probably in his mid to early 20's. He was loud and audacious. I happened to look up at him right as one "fvck" slipped out of his mouth, and because I was torn from a particularly dishy passage in my book, I must have given him a look of annoyed surprise, which he mistook for the gaping 'O' mouth of matronly disapproval. All that was missing was an audible gasp and an, "Upon my word, young man!" My disapproving look, I assure you, looks a lot like my face is collapsing in on itself, my eyes narrowing, my forehead transforming itself into the coat of a Shar-Pei puppy. I was fairly certain I appeared as I was, interrupted but without really caring. Instead, he walked a couple of more steps ahead, too fast in his movement to come full stop at the time his brain first issued the command. He then, without excusing himself from the phone call, steps back towards me, faces me and opens his arms in a broad and welcoming gesture, and says, “Oh my God, I am so sorry! So sorry!” I smiled and shook my head. Prim and proper, proper and prim. I was actually touched that he suffered apoplexy over a few cuss words he thought he’d uttered too loudly, and to my great chagrin. What a charming rouge, I thought. The rake! The adorable cad! He thought his cussing offended me, hah-hah. And then it occurred to me that once again, some youngster just a few years younger than my no longer youngster years condescended to treat me like a goddamned grown-up. Like a “ma’am”. Like he’d been caught cussing by his grandmamma, the bastard! I wish I’d had the presence of mind to say, “Don’t fvcking worry about it, buster!” Then again, living in the often impolite society of today, his unexpected apology was more a breath of fresh air than anything else. Someone raised him right enough to care. He freely uses the sailor speak I love, but had the presence of mind to recognize that others in his surrounding may not feel the same. Still, I’d rather not be treated like a nun in the future, thank you very much. I kinda wish he'd looked at me and recognized the inner-sailor within.
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03-14-2005, 09:06 PM	#2
wendybeth Nevermind Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,847	Hey, he didn't say "I'm so sorry, ma'am!" Mayhap he was flirting with you? Hmmm? And if he wasn't- if it was an elder apology, then wouldn't he be surprised by the thoughts that flitted about your mind? That would have been hilarious to see his expression if you had said "Don't ****ing worry about it!" __________________
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03-14-2005, 09:12 PM	#4
blueerica Nueve Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 6,497	Yes, if that happens again, you must have the witty retort on call! __________________ Tomorrow is the day for you and me
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03-14-2005, 09:20 PM	#5
Not Afraid HI! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 17,108	Yes, wouldn't it ALWAYS be nice to have a witty retort on call. I only have nice retort or quite the sailor retorts filled with double entendres. Or there's the direct apporach designed the shock the HELL of of the gentleman. That's my best option - and easiest option - usually. I can be ruder than you and make you blush, mister. HA!
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03-14-2005, 09:48 PM	#7
Not Afraid HI! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 17,108	See, I'm always brazen. I have to hold back. The "rude" or inappropriate return is always on the tip of my tongue.
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03-14-2005, 11:30 PM	#8
DisneyFan25863 Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Stevenson Ranch, CA Posts: 464	I always seem to have a retort to anything thrown my way. Problem is, no one understands them other than myself. Though I do have a tendancy to be blunt, which is just as bad as being brazen. By the way, "cad"? For some reason, I was thinking cad was a North-Atlantic fish, so your sentence didn't make sense the first few times I read it
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03-14-2005, 11:48 PM	#9
Kevy Baby Chowder Head Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Yes Posts: 18,500	Why is it you think of the killer retort 20 minutes after you walk away from a situation? It woulda just slayed 'em! __________________ The thing about quotes on the internet is that you cannot verify their validity. - Abraham Lincoln
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03-15-2005, 10:10 AM	#10
mhrc4 Call me Justin Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: sOCal Posts: 376	would have been hilarious to hear you blurt out "dont fvcking worry about it" usually I am good with quick comebacks, but at times when you are shocked that something like that would cause an apology, a witty comeback probably wasnt the easiest thing to come up with __________________ [Disneyland - Walt Disney World - Disneyland Paris] 3 down, 2 to go
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