Favorite George Carlin Quotes

[Gemini Cricket]

I'm going to f*cking miss you, George.

Here are some good ones:

Dusting is a good example of the futility of trying to put things right. As soon as you dust, the fact of your next dusting has already been established.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me - they're cramming for their final exam.

Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.