Transformers 2-Revenge of the Fallen.....a rant

[Nephythys]

Fallen indeed-

Not the worst movie I have ever seen-and it did have some good moments-and my kids all loved it. I loved parts of it- the rest I sat there thinking WTH!?!

Spoilers-and the things I did not like-

Spoiler:

*why the hell would Sam try to dump Bumblebee? He was a jerk to him, period.
*The kitchen appliance Decepticons- someone explain to me why every mechanical thing that comes to life because of the Allspark is automatically evil and violent? The All Spark is supposed to be the genesis of the Autobots too-yet everything that transforms in BOTH movies due to the All Spark become mindlessly violent.
*Sam ditching Mikaela on their first web date- WTH? Instead he goes to a frat party with his jerk roommate who he does not even like!
*The hot babe Decepticon. Huh? They did not even know where Sam was-how the hell would they be able to place a human looking robot IN his dorm at the college he ends up going to? I did not need to look at her a** while she pinned Sam. Stupid play to hormonal boys-stupid.
*The constant testicle jokes- and I do mean constant. The roomies at college, Mikaela landing on the roommate after Jetfire space bridges the lot of them, dangling balls on Devastator. Plus more I likely spaced due to trauma-
*The constant fart jokes- Wheelie farted everytime he transformed. Jetfire farted his canopy. WTF?
*Wheelie-ok, so he is supposed to grow on you...by humping Mikaela's leg? They go into the tombs of the Primes and you never see him again-never. Bad writing-
*The Sector 7 guy. The meat shop? The guy with the horrible teeth? The secret basement? The JOCK STRAP BARE ASS CLOSE UP? All stupid- did not need any of it. Was it supposed to be funny? I mean, funny? Or just embarrassing?
*The piss poor treatment of Ratchet and Ironhide. What, 2 minutes of screen time?
*The helicopter dropping the car-they would be dead. Yes, I can suspend reality- it is after all a movie about giant alien robots- but that was stupid.
*Jetfire's suicide-what the hell ever.
*The new Autobots- who? Do you even care? Sideswipe- yeah, can you tell me which one he was? No, how about the ONLY female autobot that speaks and then gets blasted. Jolt? Remember him? Did they die, did they live, do you care?
*Battle at the beginning with the 2 silver cars- which was which and why do we care who won?
*The human death toll- even the Autobots did not seem to be too concerned with this. It was MASSIVE in this movie and it was all just a blip on their radar. Oh well-
*Sam's death and resurrection. Lame-
*The Matrix of Leadership-oookey.....so in the last movie it was the All Spark- it's gone now, except for a piece that conveniently stuck to Sam's hoodie (WTH?)-so we need a NEW mythic piece of whatever for everyone to chase after.
*The Fallen. What the HELL was that guys motivation? He just hated humans? For no reason-out of nowhere? Beings usually have some reason for wanting to kill an entire species- somehow I doubt the cavemen pissed him off that much. If they did he was seriously in need of new meds.
*DECEPTICON HATCHLINGS?
*Mudflap and Skids. I hate them. HATE them. The Transformers version of Jar Jar Binks- and I loathe him too. Offensive, racist stereotypes trying to be the robot version of the Waylan brothers. Big eared, sporting the gold grill, jive talking...GRRRRR- hate them. They looked more like cartoons than anything else. When one got sucked into Devastator I HOPED he would die. BRING JAZZ BACK- He was awesome. What's crackin' Little Bitches indeed....
*Parts of the story were freaking made up as they went along. For example- the fight between the idiot twins- leading to Bumblebee tossing them around and breaking the wall to the tomb.
*The TOMB- again, what the HELL ever!
*Abrupt end to the movie-and you only see Optimus. None of the others- they don't matter. Nawww.....who cares about them, right?
*StarScream's voice- COME ON. You give us the original Prime but we get some form of robot Gollum for Starscream? Did you idiots watch the cartoons?
*The way Deceptions look in general. Ick and ugh-no. Starscream was a white jet, was that too hard for you? The WHOLE damn point was that they were hard to find-in DISGUISE you know. Nothing about Megatron and Starscream is disguise (every now and then Starscream is a proper jet, but not often)
*The whole "who's going to say I love you first" crap between Sam and Mikeala. Whatever-when it does happen, who cares?
*Mom and the reefer brownie- was that supposed to be funny too? Tackling college kids for their frisbees?
*Arcee? Barricade? Either not there or no real screen time. Same with Soundwave.

Ok, rant over for now- til I think of something else. (which I will I guarantee) Word is Bay is not directing the 3rd one. I love Bay movies-normally. Should I blame him? The writers? They changed one of the 2 writers from the first to the second- is it the new guys fault????

They wrote this movie for idiot teenage boys-and forgot that many fans are in their 20's and 30's and remember the Transformers from their childhood. I'm disgusted- seriously. I felt like I was misled by the trailers and the hype....and I hoped for something I would love as much as the first one.

Best critic line I saw- this movie is the teenage male equivalent of snorting cocaine off a hookers ass.

This movie made me want to scream -and we went opening day- were SO excited...so much for that.

ETA- fer fun here is the wiki with the list of which autobots and decepticons were in this one.
__________________

[BarTopDancer]

I loved the first one. Shiny robots blowing stuff up. How can you go wrong?

But with this one, I hear consistently bad things from the fans of the first one, and fans of the series.

Torn if I should save my money and wait for DVD.

[flippyshark]

As far as I can tell, I've only ever liked one movie with Michael Bay's name attached - the first Pirates - (Oh, and sections of PEARL HARBOR for the uproarious unintentional comedy.) This sounds like a movie that may crystallize my disdain for everything the summer action tentpole movie has become. Some masochistic part of me almost wants to check it out. Perhaps I'll go to the drive-in, where there's at least a chance I'll enjoy the co-feature.

[Alex]

Ah....don't you know how to just go and have fun at a movie? Stuff blew up! It's supposed to be stupid! Turn off your brain! Of course it's not Citizen Kane! Just eat your popcorn and learn to relax!

Sorry, don't really think that, just have always wanted to be the one saying it.

I agree with all just about all of your issues. And have more of my own. I already said this in the other movie thread but to me the biggest flaw in the underlying story is:

Fallen is too powerful for six primes to kill.
Megatron, a mere apprentice to Fallen, successfully kills Optimus Prime.
Optimus Prime is then able to kill Fallen without all that much difficulty because somehow he got a power boost from eating the soul of a non-prime.

I also would have liked more understanding of how Jetfire came to be out of commission in an Air & Space museum. I could see possibly being some old piece of machinery (though once you've lived on the planet for at least 19,000 years it seems odd you'd crap out) but he is an extremely modern airplane that was retired in 1990. Also, amazing how all those military historians apparently never wondered about the Decepticon markings.

[Alex]

Oh, and the movie seems to take a very dim view of Obama so that might appeal to some.

[Nephythys]

Originally Posted by Alex

Oh, and the movie seems to take a very dim view of Obama so that might appeal to some.

Heh- but the first one took a dim view of Bush.

Movie #1- southern drawl and red socks- "get me a ding dong Darlin"

Movie #2- Obama gets hidden away, and they want to negotiate, talk and maybe hand Sam over to the Decepticons.

Me suspects a writer or director is not a political fan- period.

[scaeagles]

I have heard far too many negatives to g see it. Just doesn't sound remotely enjoyable.

[Gn2Dlnd]

Borneo tweeted this review from io9 the other day with the line, "This review made my brain sh!t itself." I think it's the best review I've ever read of anything, ever.

Michael Bay Finally Made An Art Movie
By Charlie Jane Anders

[cirquelover]

My guys are there right now. I am feeling so blessed to have gotten out of going to this one, because I disliked the first one!

[Nephythys]

Originally Posted by BarTopDancer

I loved the first one. Shiny robots blowing stuff up. How can you go wrong?

But with this one, I hear consistently bad things from the fans of the first one, and fans of the series.

Torn if I should save my money and wait for DVD.

Matinee pricing after it's been out for a while- hell, do you have theatres that show movies for $1.....go to those. LOL