Why Did I Refuse This Random Act of Kindness?

[Strangler Lewis]

When you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras.

However, whether one should expect a horse or a zebra depends on context. Here, we can't decide if this was a random act of kindness, a sales pitch (which, though not the end of the world, is not a random act of kindness) or, perhaps, the third option: a piece of performance art/social experiment along the lines of Joshua Bell doing his thing in a busy subway to validate a pre-determined conclusion that people are cretins because they don't vary their routine to appreciate his efforts. It may be that on some level of absolute truth, we are wrong not to appreciate these efforts, but when the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital.

I say this guy deserves some form of cartoon violence. Skillet, mallet and pie are too good for him. Since he was so polite, I would ask him to hold my burning sticks of dynamite while I got my own order and took it to go.