Why Did I Refuse This Random Act of Kindness?

[Strangler Lewis]

When you hear hoofbeats, think horses, not zebras.

However, whether one should expect a horse or a zebra depends on context. Here, we can't decide if this was a random act of kindness, a sales pitch (which, though not the end of the world, is not a random act of kindness) or, perhaps, the third option: a piece of performance art/social experiment along the lines of Joshua Bell doing his thing in a busy subway to validate a pre-determined conclusion that people are cretins because they don't vary their routine to appreciate his efforts. It may be that on some level of absolute truth, we are wrong not to appreciate these efforts, but when the majority are insane, the sane must go to the hospital.

I say this guy deserves some form of cartoon violence. Skillet, mallet and pie are too good for him. Since he was so polite, I would ask him to hold my burning sticks of dynamite while I got my own order and took it to go.

[wendybeth]

What does your hubby think of your reaction, Helen? Perhaps he can offer some insight. If you think you just had a weird moment and feel badly about it, then just try and pay it forward sometime by buying a drink (anonymously) for a person of your choice. I think true Randoms should be as anonymous as possible anyway. Saves everyone from any awkwardness, and might encourage the recipient to pay it forward in kind.

I still stand by my assessment of Helen and I think she had more of a reason than meets the eye to react as she did.

[Alex]

The only problem I see is that the guy went about things backwards. He started with the intrusive personal questions (which I also wouldn't have answered) and then followed up with the offer of a kindness.

He should have done it the other way around. "Hi, I work at another Starbucks and have this gift card with a few extra bucks on it and would like to get it out of my wallet, would you let me buy you your drinks in the spirit of the holidays?" or something and then when you say "how wonderful" then ask the personal questions.

I would wonder if that is just what set you off, that he started out kind of rudely with it. A similar thing that happens to me is getting a call from someone who immediately asks "who's this?" when I answer instead of "hi, this is X, who am I speaking with?" things are going to start off on the wrong foot.

[MouseWife]

Alex, that sounds how an experienced person may approach this.

I did catch that Helen was concerned that perhaps her husband had helped this person in some form at some time. Why that would seem wrong, I don't know, but, a persons reasons are their own {LOL, I almost said 'They are what they are...' but I recall GC starting a thread about that.... }.

Again, I don't think Helen did anything wrong, we are all allowed to do what we feel the need to do. But, I think it is interesting trying to figure it out.

Like, the kid, perhaps he just got a raise or something and felt generous? Like a Starbucks 'bigwig'? Or, maybe, he quit his job and this was his way of screwing the company, 'Ha! I'm giving your coffee away!!!'

And yes, I did just drink a cup of coffee and my mind is racing all over...

[tracilicious]

Originally Posted by €uroMeinke

That Latte, a steaming hot cup of illicit sex...

Visible mojo.

[Tref]

Originally Posted by MouseWife

Alex, that sounds how an experienced person may approach this.

I did catch that Helen was concerned that perhaps her husband had helped this person in some form at some time ...

Perhaps he removed a thorn from his paw.

[RStar]

It just occured to me. I know why you did it!

You hadn't had your coffee yet!

[3894]

Originally Posted by €uroMeinke

Perhaps it's Oedipal, the act of buying your drink somehow emasculating your husband, leaving you at their mercies - a subconscious quid pro quo that you didn't want to enter or even consider.

That Latte, a steaming hot cup of illicit sex...

I don't know if I agree but I don't disagree - how's that for equivocating? Bongos to you for taking the Freudian trail, EuroMeinke.

[sleepyjeff]

This story reminds me of those poor CM's at Disneyland who have the puzzling task of giving out "Dreams" to people who think they are trying to sell them something

[lashbear]

Originally Posted by wendybeth

I find it interesting that nearly all of the responses taking her to task for her actions are from the LoT guys..

Helen, Yor A Poo Poo Hed.



Actually, I don't know how I'd react. Maybe I'd have first asked him why?