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€uromeinke, FEJ. and Ghoulish Delight RULE!!! NA abides. |
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#11 | |||
Virgin Ears
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Oh where to start.... first, I ran into a Look Better Naked marathon or something over the winter break. I had never seen the show before, and never since. The very first gal i saw looked like me. Not as heavy, but a fairly pale brunette.
I like Carson, I Liked the show, and everything the show did reminded me of a friend of mine, and their pep talks. I however, felt like garbage when the show was over. I look in the mirror everyday. I detest what I see. At this moment I am 225-230. Whats odd, to me anyway, is that at 145 when I went to try on wedding dresses... what.. 14 years ago, I was told I was too fat to try anything in the stores on. Nothing they had would fit me, and I got that same answer in four store. So, I missed out on that little gem. But even though I thought I was 'passable' then, I do not feel so now. Every day I inventory those things that bother me. I have a membership to a gym, I pay for it. Do I go? No. Why? I lack the inspiration. I know I should, and i know that I might feel better if I did. I might start to lose that belly that I detest. I hate having my picture taken; there's always a chance that you'll get my double chin, or that bad eye, and never a chance that you might see an attractive person. Yeah, I whine that I am never in any LoT shots, but at the same time, I'm glad. I dont want to be the one that ruins the shot. Quote:
I'd love to comment on your ugly duckling'ness, but I havent seen you. I am sure that you radiate the personality that I have come to rely on and relate to on the board, and I cannot wait to actually meet you. Quote:
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oddly enough, my profile pic usually was a very skinny Frances Ruffle, and many people have thought it was me, and accordingly said very nice things about my wieght and etc. How interesting their reactions are when I say, no, thats not me, and I'm actually two of her. I dont know BE. Our culture, and our personal experieinces have made us very body concious. Chances are that I will prob never watch that show again, mostly because it was so incredilby depressing for me. I know what bothers me about my body. And its not just the double chin, the bad eye, the swollen feet and the HUGE thighs. However, I don't suspect that it will change any time real soon, but I can live with that. And what did you say BE? a rectangle with boobs? Hmm... I'm not a rectangle. Maybe an oval. I dont remember your body shape at all. I will tell you that what I do remember is a wonderful smile, and a very exotic and intriguing face. ![]() oh, and CP, I've seen them. Personally, I never thought of teats.
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There's something strange,
There's something wrong. I see a change - It's like when love dies. |
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