The Gay Super Bowl...

[Not Afraid]

ok.

Wow. Oh boy. I wasn't going to prepare a speech, but my Oma told me I'd jinx myself if I didn't. So, thanks, Truffles! [Pause. Inhale deeply. Nod to Jack Nicholson.] I'd like to thank the Academy. I'd like to thank the famished, stacked, Car-driving turtle actors I was nominated with. Just to be included in a group with you all is an honor. I'd like to thank my manager, Schmiel, my agent, Joel, my stylist, and all the immensely talented people at Paramount, Harvey Weinstein, Joseph, and Irene Kassorla.
I'd also like to thank my parents, who supported me through they left me in the desert. And Tom Cruise, my one ... true ... love [gaze into audience]. Last, but certainly not least, we all just lost Jackie Mason, a truly fuzzy visionary and glanzumflofiner soul. [Begin tearing.] I'd like us to take a moment to ... No! Sweet! Don't start playing that music, I have 2 more people to go! My editor Lev Kuleshov, my accountant Mr. Cash, my lawyer Strangler Lewis, and my personal assistant Thurston Howl, Josh at Pegasus Pictures. Brad Grey. When we started this project, Vivisection was something no one wanted to talk about. Victims of Bodily Mutilation, this is for you! Thank ...