Idiocracy

[NirvanaMan]

Uh gotta agree with Alex on this one ISM. I have found that most people feel like they want kids. In fact, when they find out they I do not, I get 1 of 2 responses:

1. "You'll grow out of it." As if everyone MUST want kids. And you will hit this magical age where you suddenly will realize that you need kids. It is this societal trend that I am constantly bucking.

2. "what's wrong with you?" As if not wanting kids and realizing that you are not parental material is somehow immoral or they feel bad for you as if they realize that your life will not and could not possibly be fullfilling or complete without offspring. I think that most with this reaction don't even bother thinking about it and analyzing whether or not it is the right thing to do or if they are in the right place in their life and have fulfilled everything that they want to accomplish on their own before adding this incredible burdon. They just assume that they have to do it....and of course they want it and need it, otherwise they would be weird.

The response that I nearly never get is "oh ok that's cool" or "yeah me either".

[wendybeth]

I had never planned on having kids either, and I was fine with that. I loved being an aunt and spoiling the kids rotten, then sending them home. The Girl was a total surprise, but once we got over the shock she became the best surprise we ever had. I can't imagine my world without her. Whether or not a person has children does not define them, but there is no denying that it is a life-changing event.

[Strangler Lewis]

I understand, NM. You're afraid.

[Prudence]

I used to not want kids - in large part because I don't want to be a stay-at-home mom. And I worry about not having the funds to provide for them the way I think they should be provided for. Or the "right" home, the "right" job, whatever. Marrying someone who wants to be a stay-at-home dad changes the playing field a bit. Plus, I confess that I'm curious to see what the spawn would look like. And there's the nagging worry that if I don't do it soon I'll run out of time.

[Babette]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

Jeez people. Can I get some help here? At least Traci and Wendy know what's up. I just hope we're not ostracized when it does happen

When people have kids they tend to no longer be availabe for social situations. When they are available, they have to get home to relieve the sitter, or bring the kids along. This drastically changes the kinds of activities, parties and socializing they do. People with kids tend to phase out their childless friends, not on purpose, but they do. They have play dates, dinner at chuck e. cheeses and bounce house parties. Clubs, fancy restaurants, psychadelic museums, and big people slumber parties become a thing of the past. They are not ostracized, just common interests change.

It is not good or bad, just fact. People choose to live the single or family lifestyle. Both have their pros and cons, I am not knocking either one. They just don't always go together.

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

Anecdotally on my part, far too many prospective parents seem to want to wait for conditions in their married and financial lives to be "perfect" before having kids ... and too many of them also forget to compute the age they will be when they must deal with the VERY trying teenage years of their offspring whose creation they are putting off.

This is the point of the movie Idiocracy. The responsible, smart people are making money and no longer having kids, while the dumb, poor, irresponsible ones are over-reproducing and on welfare. The dumb, poor, irresponsible genes carry on while the smart, responsible ones die out. Scary future.

[Not Afraid]

Originally Posted by Prudence

And there's the nagging worry that if I don't do it soon I'll run out of time.

And, time does run out - and shyt happens. Having a baby is not as easy as it seems like it would be. Especially as you get older.

frrrrrrrrgdddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd ddddddddddddddddddddddddddd

(Teaching your kitten to not walk on the keyboard is also a challenge.)

[Alex]

Originally Posted by Babette

The dumb, poor, irresponsible genes carry on while the smart, responsible ones die out. Scary future.

Of course, this assumes that poor and irresponsible are genetic predispositions which is unlikely. And the evidence that dumb is genetic isn't very strong either.

I certainly hope the movie doesn't make a genetic claim for these.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Originally Posted by Alex Stroup

I certainly hope the movie doesn't make a genetic claim for these.

It doesn't really specify whether it's genetics or environment. Either way works for the picture.

[tracilicious]

Originally Posted by Babette

When people have kids they tend to no longer be availabe for social situations. When they are available, they have to get home to relieve the sitter, or bring the kids along. This drastically changes the kinds of activities, parties and socializing they do. People with kids tend to phase out their childless friends, not on purpose, but they do. They have play dates, dinner at chuck e. cheeses and bounce house parties. Clubs, fancy restaurants, psychadelic museums, and big people slumber parties become a thing of the past. They are not ostracized, just common interests change.

I think a balance can be had. It requires a juggle but we manage to have cool non-mainstream grown up interests in the midst of bounce house parties and the like. Granted, we don't hang out with your average parent, so many of our parent friends are into really cool things too. I think if all sides are willing to be flexible, old friendships can remain just as strong, only different.

[Kevy Baby]

We have some very good friends that have three kids that we hang out with quite often.

Susan and I really want kids of our own. After so many years of trying (short of medical intervention which I don't want to do except for possible testing*), it appears that it is not in the cards for us. We have talked about adopting, by haven't done anything on that front in a couple of years.

But I also wonder what if we haven't become too adjusted to being SINK's - would the transition to parenthood (especially if we adopt an older child) become too much of a shock.

But as many a parent has told us; no matter what, you are never ready for parenthood. Yet somehow it all works itself out.

* I am NOT looking forward to wacking off into a cup at some cold, sterile clinic. That's just too much f'n pressure!