Chastity Rings

[scaeagles]

My daughter has a chastity ring. Not one of those in particular - something we purchased at a jewelry store that isn't a "chastity ring", but just a ring she liked.

We didn't give it to her to say "sex is a horrid thing and we don't want to talk about it, just don't do it." When we had "the talk" (both of us with her), it wasn't that sex was bad - quite the opposite (much to her dismay). It was primarily about the mechanics and emotions involved.

It was also about consequences, both emotional and physical.

What can a parent do but instill value in their child, and what values do I have to instill in my child except my own? If I did not think they were best, I would not have them as my values. We happen to think (for reasons far too numerous to share, religious reasons among them) that waiting until marriage is best.

The ring she wears isn't about some sort of taboo...it's a reminder to her of what we've talked about and to hang on to what is special.

When she is on her own, she will make her own choices. I cannot be sure that she will do what we think is best. All we can do is try to teach her what we think is best, and that ring is a small symbol of what we've talked about.

[tracilicious]

Originally Posted by scaeagles

What can a parent do but instill value in their child, and what values do I have to instill in my child except my own? If I did not think they were best, I would not have them as my values. We happen to think (for reasons far too numerous to share, religious reasons among them) that waiting until marriage is best.

The ring she wears isn't about some sort of taboo...it's a reminder to her of what we've talked about and to hang on to what is special.

When she is on her own, she will make her own choices. I cannot be sure that she will do what we think is best. All we can do is try to teach her what we think is best, and that ring is a small symbol of what we've talked about.

I think that's a really beautiful story. I've been thinking about sex a lot lately. Particularly as it relates to my kids. Im not sure what information I want to convey to them on the subject.

While I certainly don't want them having sex until they are ready, I'm not sure if no sex before marriage is ideal. Did you wait until you were married to have sex? Anybody else here? I did. Nearly everyone in my social circle back then did. I don't recommend it. While it is nice knowing that we've only been with each other, it isn't that big a deal. I've known so many people that got married rashly or too young because they wanted to have sex. I've also known people who got married and had a really rough start at a sex life because sex had been put on this very high pedestal. Sex is somewhat clumsy at first I think, at least for two people that are completely inexperienced. That can get a marriage off to a rough start.

I wouldn't want my kids making a commitment because of sex, nor would I want them staying in a relationship because of sex, but on the other hand they'll probably feel a great deal more fulfilled if they feel a commitment to the person they're having sex with. So while I don't want them to treat it casually (at least not at first), I don't want to make it this huge all important thing either.