Bacon is meat candy.

[LashStoat]

Ok..Ok..

The Origins Of Whale Bacon.

A composition written by Susie-Anne Krellingshaw from Arkansas, aged 11.

The Japanese people that lived there wanted to eat something. The moms* were little people because they were small. The daddies were little too, but they got into boats to get fish and things in shells. The ocean got rough sometimes, and the daddies vomitted overboard. But not always. To add verisimilitude to this otherwise bald and uninteresting narrative, the daddies would catch a whale for scientific porpoises** and make it into a size that the moms* could carry home. This was very thoughtful, because the people could sign the Kyoto Protocol on account of the fact that whale bacon doesn't emit greenhouse gases. Much, except a bit if it's left out of the takofumibushi for more than a kirotakiochi. Then it stinks.

I once had a goldfish named "Whale". Mr Goldbloom (our neighbour) leaned over the fence and asked me why I was crying. I told him that "Whale" had died, and that I was burying him. He asked me why the grave I had dug was so big. Well, I answered, "It's because your f**king cat ate him".

Susie-Anne Krellingshaw.


*Mothers.
**Like a sardine***, but bigger.
***Sardines are not like candy.