WTF Stories of the Week - Page 66

Capt Jack · 10-08-2008, 12:31 PM

what goes "blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette,"?

Spoiler:

yeah, ok, its the only one I could think of

Kevy Baby · 10-08-2008, 03:29 PM

Why are all blonde jokes one-liners?

Spoiler:

The Lovely Mrs. tod · 10-08-2008, 04:59 PM

A blonde needs to earn some extra money. So she decides to hire herself out for odd jobs around the neighborhood. The first door she knocks on is answered by a guy who takes one look and says "sure, I need someone to paint my porch. When can you start?" The blonds says "Right away." The guy's wife says "what are you, nuts? You're going to let HER paint the porch?" "Don't be so negative" he says to his wife. "You're buying into the blonde stereotype. She seems like a nice kid and she's willing to work"

So the guy tells the girl there's paint and brushes in the garage and the blonde gets to work.

She knocks on the door later that afternoon. "All finished!"

"That's great! And so fast! How much do I owe you?"

"Fifty dollars"

The man hands her fifty, and another fifty on top of that. "Wow, thanks!" says the blonde.

"You're welcome. I'll be happy to have you work for me again if you'd like to come back."

"Sure, I'd love to. But I think you should know something. It's not a porch. It's a Lexus."

wendybeth · 10-08-2008, 06:43 PM

This is a good sort of WTF story- I think this guy rocks:Sheriff refuses to evict people

I'm not sure what the answer is in this situation, but since most of the banks are just letting the homes deteriorate I can't see where it hurts them any. They need to work out a deal with tenants that ensures the property is continued to be cared for and allows tenants time to get up the funds to move. Anyway, it's nice to see some compassion in action.

Cadaverous Pallor · 10-08-2008, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghoulish Delight

A little too late to help GusGus I think, but good to know anyway:

Honey may be best treatment for burns.

Next time I burn myself in the wild, I'll go knock down a beehive.

alphabassettgrrl · 10-08-2008, 10:30 PM

Honey helps infected wounds, too. Helps keep scarring down on non-infected cuts and scrapes. I can't find the article but it works against stuff that is resistant to antibiotics.

Lavender can help burns, too.

CoasterMatt · 10-09-2008, 07:48 PM

This is one frisky moose...

Quote:

“I pulled in this morning and at first thought there was a horse in the driveway but then realized it was a moose,” Dunbar said. “It kind of circled the truck. It put one leg up and then a second front leg. After a few minutes, it became obvious what was going on. The people here for classes came outside and started taking pictures. The guy who owned the truck kept beeping his alarm, hoping it would scare it off but I guess (the moose) thought it was the call of the wild.”

Capt Jack · 10-10-2008, 11:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

Next time I burn myself in the wild, I'll go knock down a beehive.

yeah, just what Id want to go with my burns, a thousand bee stings

___
probably ancient or outright false, but eh....I laughed

JWBear · 10-15-2008, 01:04 PM

When Jesus returns, they are soooo busted!

Kevy Baby · 10-15-2008, 01:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JWBear

When Jesus returns, they are soooo busted!

Love your headline!

10-08-2008, 12:31 PM	#651
Capt Jack check your head Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 4,174	what goes "blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette,"? Spoiler: naked blonde doing cartwheels yeah, ok, its the only one I could think of __________________ a clear conscience is a sure sign of a fuzzy memory
	Submit to Quotes

10-08-2008, 03:29 PM	#652
Kevy Baby Chowder Head Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Yes Posts: 18,500	Why are all blonde jokes one-liners? Spoiler: So that men can understand them. __________________ The thing about quotes on the internet is that you cannot verify their validity. - Abraham Lincoln
	Submit to Quotes

10-08-2008, 04:59 PM	#653
The Lovely Mrs. tod Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Posts: 86	A blonde needs to earn some extra money. So she decides to hire herself out for odd jobs around the neighborhood. The first door she knocks on is answered by a guy who takes one look and says "sure, I need someone to paint my porch. When can you start?" The blonds says "Right away." The guy's wife says "what are you, nuts? You're going to let HER paint the porch?" "Don't be so negative" he says to his wife. "You're buying into the blonde stereotype. She seems like a nice kid and she's willing to work" So the guy tells the girl there's paint and brushes in the garage and the blonde gets to work. She knocks on the door later that afternoon. "All finished!" "That's great! And so fast! How much do I owe you?" "Fifty dollars" The man hands her fifty, and another fifty on top of that. "Wow, thanks!" says the blonde. "You're welcome. I'll be happy to have you work for me again if you'd like to come back." "Sure, I'd love to. But I think you should know something. It's not a porch. It's a Lexus."
	Submit to Quotes

10-08-2008, 06:43 PM	#654
wendybeth Nevermind Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,847	This is a good sort of WTF story- I think this guy rocks:Sheriff refuses to evict people I'm not sure what the answer is in this situation, but since most of the banks are just letting the homes deteriorate I can't see where it hurts them any. They need to work out a deal with tenants that ensures the property is continued to be cared for and allows tenants time to get up the funds to move. Anyway, it's nice to see some compassion in action. __________________
	Submit to Quotes

10-08-2008, 10:30 PM	#656
alphabassettgrrl Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 4,978	Honey helps infected wounds, too. Helps keep scarring down on non-infected cuts and scrapes. I can't find the article but it works against stuff that is resistant to antibiotics. Lavender can help burns, too. __________________ Why cycling? Anything [sport] that had to do with a ball, I wasn't very good at. -Lance Armstrong
	Submit to Quotes

10-15-2008, 01:04 PM	#659
JWBear Worn Romantic Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Long Beach California Posts: 8,435	When Jesus returns, they are soooo busted! __________________ Unrestrained frivolity will lead to the downfall of modern society.
	Submit to Quotes