Help Us End the R-Word

innerSpaceman · 03-25-2009, 09:52 AM

I went through this a short while back with "That's so gay."

I used to say it all the time ... and, as a gay man, I feel I have the right. But once I got involved in gay activism, more and more people started to object (not just Gemini Cricket).

For a while I was tellilng people to get over themselves. It's a phrase that I never said meaning to insult homosexuals. Much like "moron" does not really insult retards, er, um the developmentally disabled.

In fact, just as eskimos have 24 words for snow, I was pretty insistent that "lame" was not an acceptable substitute for "gay." Lame "gay" is a particular sub-set of lame, i.e., the lameness of something inappropriately effeminate. Like C(hick)adaverous Pallor wearing a flower in her hair would not be gay, but G(uy)houlish Delight doing the same would be so gay.

Granted, the phrase stems from a negative connotation of a certain stereotypical aspect of male homosexuality .... but, like the afore-mentioned "idiot" and "moron," has moved far beyond that root meaning (but not completely).

Anyway, my roundabout point is ... it didn't matter. A lot of people I was going to be interacting with took offense at the phrase, and so I dropped it out of consideration.

And sure, the goalposts will keep moving ... and if we drop "retard" today, it's replacement might be just as offensive in 20 years. But that's 20 years of not causing offense to people who need no more grief.

So I'll drop it.

Except, of course, when referring to Kevy.

Strangler Lewis · 03-25-2009, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

I went through this a short while back with "That's so gay."

In one of my morphing novel/screenplay thingies, one of my characters makes the point that much of the evil that men do would disappear if it were stigmatized as gay. E.g., "The president wants to invade Iraq? What a fag."

JWBear · 03-25-2009, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strangler Lewis

"The president wants to invade Iraq? What a fag."

No thanks, we don't want him.

3894 · 03-25-2009, 03:15 PM

And so my kind - nay, noble! - request ends with a mind picture of GW Bush bending over to pick up the soap.

Prudence · 03-25-2009, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 3894

And so my kind - nay, noble! - request ends with a mind picture of GW Bush bending over to pick up the soap.

Not with a bang but with a whimper, eh?

DreadPirateRoberts · 03-25-2009, 03:18 PM

a visual snowclone

Kevy Baby · 03-25-2009, 05:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex

Because swear words look naughtier when censored.

That's true: I don't notice them when written normally, but put in a couple of asterisks, and they stick out like a sore thumb

03-25-2009, 09:52 AM	#1
innerSpaceman Kink of Swank Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Inner Space Posts: 13,075	I went through this a short while back with "That's so gay." I used to say it all the time ... and, as a gay man, I feel I have the right. But once I got involved in gay activism, more and more people started to object (not just Gemini Cricket). For a while I was tellilng people to get over themselves. It's a phrase that I never said meaning to insult homosexuals. Much like "moron" does not really insult retards, er, um the developmentally disabled. In fact, just as eskimos have 24 words for snow, I was pretty insistent that "lame" was not an acceptable substitute for "gay." Lame "gay" is a particular sub-set of lame, i.e., the lameness of something inappropriately effeminate. Like C(hick)adaverous Pallor wearing a flower in her hair would not be gay, but G(uy)houlish Delight doing the same would be so gay. Granted, the phrase stems from a negative connotation of a certain stereotypical aspect of male homosexuality .... but, like the afore-mentioned "idiot" and "moron," has moved far beyond that root meaning (but not completely). Anyway, my roundabout point is ... it didn't matter. A lot of people I was going to be interacting with took offense at the phrase, and so I dropped it out of consideration. And sure, the goalposts will keep moving ... and if we drop "retard" today, it's replacement might be just as offensive in 20 years. But that's 20 years of not causing offense to people who need no more grief. So I'll drop it. Except, of course, when referring to Kevy.
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03-25-2009, 03:15 PM	#4
3894 Next Stop: Funkytown! Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Cheeselandia Posts: 1,907	And so my kind - nay, noble! - request ends with a mind picture of GW Bush bending over to pick up the soap. __________________ "I didn't want to have to do this, but you leave me no choice. Here comes the smolder." - Flynn Rider, "Tangled"
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03-25-2009, 03:18 PM	#6
DreadPirateRoberts Senior Member Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 2,483	a visual snowclone
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