Wedding planning, and other stuff I don't know Thing 1 about...

[Cadaverous Pallor]

As others have said, SL's advice is the best.


I don't know if it's advice free-for-all time, but I have one thing I tell everyone who is getting married.


If you do not want a larger wedding involving far-flung relatives you don't even know, or friends of your parents that you don't even know - do NOT invite them, even if your parents or grandparents say "just invite them, they won't come."

They WILL come, no matter the location or time of year. They WILL come and your party will not be your party anymore.

Invite people you want to see there - and no one else. If anyone asks or requests or wonders aloud about your choices, say "we're keeping it small." Period!

[3894]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

They WILL come, no matter the location or time of year.

Wait. There goes my long-laid brainwashing of my daughters to have destination weddings at either Jackson Lake Lodge in the Grand Tetons or the Grand Californian Hotel at the DLR, their choice. Both are destinations carefully chosen for their appeal to our nuclear family and total lack of appeal to almost everyone else in the extended family.

Oh, bother.

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Originally Posted by 3894

Wait. There goes my long-laid brainwashing of my daughters to have destination weddings at either Jackson Lake Lodge in the Grand Tetons or the Grand Californian Hotel at the DLR, their choice. Both are destinations carefully chosen for their appeal to our nuclear family and total lack of appeal to almost everyone else in the extended family.

Oh, bother.

I hope your tactic works. In our case, my back-east family decided it was a good time for a reunion in CA, and all of my in-laws' friends decided they hadn't all gotten together in a while.

I stick to my advice - if you don't want them there, just don't invite them, and say you're keeping the wedding small.

[bewitched]

Soooo agree with CP. And don't fall for the "so and so's feelings will be hurt if you don't invite them" trap.

[The Lovely Mrs. tod]

And do NOT get guilted into putting them in your wedding party. As in "gee, I'm sorry everyone's in long sleeves on this warm April day but we have to cover up my cousin's questionable tatoos and no, I wasn't going to ask her but my mother said I should because she's adopted and we don't want her think we're shunning her because she's not a blood relative."

Also beware the "you need to ask your brother-in-law to be an usher because he doesn't own a suit and they can't afford one but they can afford to rent the morning coat" trap while you're thinking about all this.

Now, as 3894 so subtly suggested...let's talk about clothes.

[Moonliner]

Originally Posted by 3894

Wait. There goes my long-laid brainwashing of my daughters to have destination weddings at either Jackson Lake Lodge in the Grand Tetons or the Grand Californian Hotel at the DLR, their choice. Both are destinations carefully chosen for their appeal to our nuclear family and total lack of appeal to almost everyone else in the extended family.

Oh, bother.

Hell, I'll come to that one. Send me an invite.

[3894]

Originally Posted by Moonliner

Hell, I'll come to that one. Send me an invite.

Prepare to fly your freak flag high, Moonie! We are Miracle Whip and we will not tone it down.