Shït My Dad Says

SzczerbiakManiac · 11-05-2009, 05:27 PM

This is, hands down, the funniest Twitter feed I've read*.
Unfortunately, because there's a "naughty" word in the URL, you're going to have to tweak it manually. Copy this:
http://twitter.com/shïtmydadsays
and change the "ï" to an "i".

*never mind that it's the only I read, it's still funny dammit!

SzczerbiakManiac · 11-05-2009, 05:37 PM

Here are a few of my faves:

"Nobody is that important. They eat, shït, and screw, just like you. Maybe not shït like you, you got those stomach problems."

"I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or fück it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that."

"Does anyone your age know how to comb their fücking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fücking."

"You're gonna run into jerk offs. But remember, it's not the size of the asshole you worry about, it's how much shït comes out of it."

"I think the baby shït....Well, I'm smelling shït right now, so if it ain't the baby, one of you has a big fücking problem."

"Happy birthday, I didn't get you a present...Oh, mom got you one? Well, that's from me then too, unless it's shïtty."

"Here's a strawberry, sorry for farting near you...Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that's the deal."

"It's just a fücking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?"

"The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shïts in something, you own it. Remember that."

SacTown Chronic · 11-05-2009, 05:39 PM

Justin, you worthless piece of sh!t.

Quote:

Here's a strawberry, sorry for farting near you...Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that's the deal.

Awesome.

Capt Jack · 11-05-2009, 05:41 PM

"Oh please, you practically invented lazy. People should have to call you and ask for the rights to lazy before they use it."

Im lovin this guy

and my current fave, just for LoT

"You worry too much. Eat some bacon... What? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon."

lashbear · 11-05-2009, 06:44 PM

Now I know it's fake. Nobody says they cooked too much bacon.

Disneyphile · 11-06-2009, 02:14 PM

It's definitely my favorite Twitter feed.

Ghoulish Delight · 11-10-2009, 01:27 PM

He's getting a TV show

SzczerbiakManiac · 11-10-2009, 01:40 PM

WTG Justin!

lashbear · 11-10-2009, 05:38 PM

I see, so it'll turn out that "Justin" is the guy playing the character in the TV show and this has all just been a viral marketing campaign to garner interest in the show.

God, I can be cynical sometimes...

The Lovely Mrs. tod · 11-10-2009, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ghoulish Delight

He's getting a TV show

Oh man. I feel so used now...

11-05-2009, 05:27 PM	#1
SzczerbiakManiac "ZER-bee-ak" Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 4,409	Shït My Dad Says This is, hands down, the funniest Twitter feed I've read. Unfortunately, because there's a "naughty" word in the URL, you're going to have to tweak it manually. Copy this: http://twitter.com/shïtmydadsays and change the "ï" to an "i". never mind that it's the only I read, it's still funny dammit! __________________
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11-05-2009, 05:37 PM	#2
SzczerbiakManiac "ZER-bee-ak" Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 4,409	Here are a few of my faves: "Nobody is that important. They eat, shït, and screw, just like you. Maybe not shït like you, you got those stomach problems." "I like the dog. If he can't eat it, or fück it, he pisses on it. I can get behind that." "Does anyone your age know how to comb their fücking hair? It looks like two squirrels crawled on their head and started fücking." "You're gonna run into jerk offs. But remember, it's not the size of the asshole you worry about, it's how much shït comes out of it." "I think the baby shït....Well, I'm smelling shït right now, so if it ain't the baby, one of you has a big fücking problem." "Happy birthday, I didn't get you a present...Oh, mom got you one? Well, that's from me then too, unless it's shïtty." "Here's a strawberry, sorry for farting near you...Hey! Either take the strawberry and stop bitching, or no strawberry, that's the deal." "It's just a fücking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?" "The dog don't like you planting stuff there. It's his backyard. If you're the only one who shïts in something, you own it. Remember that." __________________
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11-05-2009, 05:41 PM	#4
Capt Jack check your head Join Date: Oct 2005 Posts: 4,174	"Oh please, you practically invented lazy. People should have to call you and ask for the rights to lazy before they use it." Im lovin this guy and my current fave, just for LoT "You worry too much. Eat some bacon... What? No, I got no idea if it'll make you feel better, I just made too much bacon." __________________ a clear conscience is a sure sign of a fuzzy memory
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11-05-2009, 06:44 PM	#5
lashbear SwishBuckling Bear Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: In Isolation :) Posts: 6,597	Now I know it's fake. Nobody says they cooked too much bacon. __________________ *I Heart* my Husband - I can't think of anyone I'd rather be in isolation with.**
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11-06-2009, 02:14 PM	#6
Disneyphile SQUIRREL! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: On the curbside. Posts: 5,098	It's definitely my favorite Twitter feed.
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11-10-2009, 01:27 PM	#7
Ghoulish Delight I Floop the Pig Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Alternative Swankstyle Posts: 19,348	He's getting a TV show __________________ 'He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me.' -TJ
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11-10-2009, 01:40 PM	#8
SzczerbiakManiac "ZER-bee-ak" Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 4,409	WTG Justin! __________________
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11-10-2009, 05:38 PM	#9
lashbear SwishBuckling Bear Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: In Isolation :) Posts: 6,597	I see, so it'll turn out that "Justin" is the guy playing the character in the TV show and this has all just been a viral marketing campaign to garner interest in the show. God, I can be cynical sometimes... __________________ *I Heart* my Husband - I can't think of anyone I'd rather be in isolation with.**
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