Are you an akser or a Guesser? - Page 3

Cadaverous Pallor · 05-25-2010, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moonliner

When all the time what they really seem to want is the dishes to get done without any type of comment at all.

Yes, damnit, yes! If you loved me you'd do the dishes BEFORE I have to ask!! Why don't you ever think of these things?!

Wow, I really am turning into my mother...

Alex · 05-25-2010, 12:06 PM

This sentence I wrote was missing a word:

Quote:

Well, obviously it is because "would you like to..." sometimes actually means "would you like to..." and I can't reward ambiguity.

If when Lani said that it never actually presented an option then I would just be a jackass for demanding that she change to my preference rather than vice versa.

Compensatory annoyance is given though since I, when talking to her (though not with anybody else) I am physically unable to say "Idaho" without pausing to say "No, you da ho." Love is finding reason to overlook the fact that the other person is really kind of douchey sometimes.

Alex · 05-25-2010, 12:25 PM

Well, that is an option easily available. She could just do the dishes. But unless there's some reason that it is clearly my responsibility to do them (such as she just cooked the dinner or they're all dirty because of something I made for myself), then at the moment she's asking we've both been equally responsible for them not yet being done. And as already mentioned, no I don't want to do the dishes.

Alex · 05-25-2010, 12:32 PM

Then there's also the delineations of responsibility that are reached with no overt negotiation or even acknowledgment that it has been reached.

One of these came to light a little while back. Lani does not take out the garbage, I do. She'll keep stacking stuff in the garbage can until I take it out. I do not put a new garbage bag in the garbage can, she does. Once I have taken out the garbage I will just stack garbage on the counter next to the garbage can and when she puts in a new bag she gets to move it into the garbage can.

Then one day she's putting in the new bag and says "why do I always have to put in the new garbage bag? Why don't you do that?" I thought about it for a second and said "because you probably don't know where the dumpster is."

No more was said, and we're happy with our roles.

Then there's the marital version of "he who smelt it, dealt it" which goes "if you're the one who cares, you get to do it." This is why I do the laundry. This is why she gets the car washed.

BarTopDancer · 05-25-2010, 12:36 PM

I think I am more of a guesser, but I can be an asker.

If I say I don't care where we go to eat, I don't care. If I have a preference, or not in the mood for something I'll speak up. Otherwise pick a place and let's go. If I'm with other people who don't care I'll pick a place or we'll spend the next hour or so deciding where to eat by virtue of I don't care, you pick. I don't care, you pick.

Cadaverous Pallor · 05-25-2010, 01:02 PM

I just hate making decisions. It's not that I worry about pleasing everyone. I'm just a wishy-washy person. The longer the menu, the more I stare and zone out, unable to even process the options.

I always loved eating at Storytellers because there were like 3 or 4 entree options. Do I want pasta or chicken or fish or beef? Done! So much easier on my poor crappy brain.

alphabassettgrrl · 05-25-2010, 02:27 PM

I get aggravated when I say "I don't care" about the options and the response I get is "well, pick one". I said I don't care and I meant it. If I have a preference, I will state it. Otherwise, whatever.

Ghoulish Delight · 05-25-2010, 02:30 PM

[Ren]I'm the asker, you're the guesser. I'm the asker, you're the guesser. I'm the asker, you're the guesser. [/Ren]

Kevy Baby · 05-25-2010, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex

Love is finding reason to overlook the fact that the other person is really kind of douchey sometimes.

Thank you - it has been a while since I added a quote.

CoasterMatt · 05-25-2010, 08:31 PM

GIMME IT! IT'S MINE!

What kind of person does that make me?

05-25-2010, 12:25 PM	#3
Alex . Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 13,354	Well, that is an option easily available. She could just do the dishes. But unless there's some reason that it is clearly my responsibility to do them (such as she just cooked the dinner or they're all dirty because of something I made for myself), then at the moment she's asking we've both been equally responsible for them not yet being done. And as already mentioned, no I don't want to do the dishes.
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05-25-2010, 12:32 PM	#4
Alex . Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 13,354	Then there's also the delineations of responsibility that are reached with no overt negotiation or even acknowledgment that it has been reached. One of these came to light a little while back. Lani does not take out the garbage, I do. She'll keep stacking stuff in the garbage can until I take it out. I do not put a new garbage bag in the garbage can, she does. Once I have taken out the garbage I will just stack garbage on the counter next to the garbage can and when she puts in a new bag she gets to move it into the garbage can. Then one day she's putting in the new bag and says "why do I always have to put in the new garbage bag? Why don't you do that?" I thought about it for a second and said "because you probably don't know where the dumpster is." No more was said, and we're happy with our roles. Then there's the marital version of "he who smelt it, dealt it" which goes "if you're the one who cares, you get to do it." This is why I do the laundry. This is why she gets the car washed.
	Submit to Quotes

05-25-2010, 12:36 PM	#5
BarTopDancer Prepping... Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Here, there, everywhere Posts: 11,405	I think I am more of a guesser, but I can be an asker. If I say I don't care where we go to eat, I don't care. If I have a preference, or not in the mood for something I'll speak up. Otherwise pick a place and let's go. If I'm with other people who don't care I'll pick a place or we'll spend the next hour or so deciding where to eat by virtue of I don't care, you pick. I don't care, you pick. __________________ Spork is the new MacGyver Postcards From My Edge
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05-25-2010, 01:02 PM	#6
Cadaverous Pallor ohhhh baby Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Parental Bliss Posts: 12,364	I just hate making decisions. It's not that I worry about pleasing everyone. I'm just a wishy-washy person. The longer the menu, the more I stare and zone out, unable to even process the options. I always loved eating at Storytellers because there were like 3 or 4 entree options. Do I want pasta or chicken or fish or beef? Done! So much easier on my poor crappy brain. __________________ The second star to the right shines in the night for you
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05-25-2010, 02:27 PM	#7
alphabassettgrrl Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 4,978	I get aggravated when I say "I don't care" about the options and the response I get is "well, pick one". I said I don't care and I meant it. If I have a preference, I will state it. Otherwise, whatever. __________________ Why cycling? Anything [sport] that had to do with a ball, I wasn't very good at. -Lance Armstrong
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05-25-2010, 02:30 PM	#8
Ghoulish Delight I Floop the Pig Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Alternative Swankstyle Posts: 19,348	[Ren]I'm the asker, you're the guesser. I'm the asker, you're the guesser. I'm the asker, you're the guesser. [/Ren] __________________ 'He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me.' -TJ
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05-25-2010, 08:31 PM	#10
CoasterMatt BRAAAAAAAINS! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: One Step Beyond... Posts: 8,802	GIMME IT! IT'S MINE! What kind of person does that make me? __________________ Do you like my photography? Visit photosbymatt.tumblr.com to purchase prints!
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