Societal norms, the Moral Majority and a rant that feels so good

Scrooge McSam · 10-31-2005, 02:11 PM

Dammit Prudence.... This place doesn't make enough mojo for you to keep posting like this.

Crystal · 10-31-2005, 02:24 PM

SacTown, baby, I Love You!

What happened over the weekend has really left me depressed. The people we've had a falling out with have been friends for many years. The wife became aware of my bi-sexuality, something she heard through the grapevine, and now has a need to put me down and treat me as though I am immoral.She feels the need to "save" me and told me I will regret the choices I have made in my personal life. Personally, I feel it really is none of her business, but because we have been friends for so long, it is really difficult to get past this. She is judging mine and SacTowns entire relationship on this one thing that she disapproves of.

SacTown and I have the strongest marriage of anyone I know. We have been married for 10 years, together for 15, and friends for 20. We are open and honest with each other, committed to our family and have strong morals and family values.We rarely argue, but engage in mature conversation in regards to any differences we may have. It really bothers me that someone who has little knowledge of the intricate workings of our marriage, someone who has enough marital problems of their own, should choose to judge us in this way.

Sorry for the long winded post, but, whew, I feel better already. Thanks!

blueerica · 10-31-2005, 02:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystal

It really bothers me that someone who has little knowledge of the intricate workings of our marriage, someone who has enough marital problems of their own, should choose to judge us in this way.

I'm sad to hear that it came from someone you have known and been friends with for such a long time. I don't mean to judge her in return, but chances are, she's so outspoken because of her own insecurities in her marriage. When you can't lash out at yourself, lash out at the nearest person.

Quote:

Sorry for the long winded post, but, whew, I feel better already. Thanks!

Should we all be so lucky to have a well-working marriage such as yours & Sac's !!!

Kevy Baby · 10-31-2005, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystal

The people we've had a falling out with have been friends for many years. The wife became aware of my bi-sexuality, something she heard through the grapevine, and now has a need to put me down and treat me as though I am immoral. She feels the need to "save" me and told me I will regret the choices I have made in my personal life. Personally, I feel it really is none of her business, but because we have been friends for so long, it is really difficult to get past this. She is judging mine and SacTowns entire relationship on this one thing that she disapproves of.

I suspect that most of what is upsetting about this is that these people who are your friends have suddenly changed their view of the two of you and yuo have seemingly lost a friend. This change in view was based on a rumour/detail/whatever that appears to be true. If her moral line of demarcation (because of religious/personal/whatever beliefs) indicates that bi-sexuality is unacceptable to her/them (not sure how much the husband was involved), then that is her choice. If she believes that this act (it may be more than the bi-sexuality - it may be more the lack of monogamy in the marriage; many people believe that "open marriages" do not work) means that she does not want to associate with you, then that is her prerogative. Yes, it hurts and yes, it sucks. But her choice is hers to make. The way she acted (preachy, etc.) may have been pretty crappy, but would you rather she say these things to your face or behind your back?

I am not saying this to go against the nature of what happened (you and Sac are wonderful people and you have great kids, so you must be good parents), but to just to look at the whole picture. I am sorry that this person has these narrow views and was compelled to thrust them in your face. I were in your shoes, I am not sure I would WANT such a closed minded-person as a friend!

I am very sorry for the two of you and the shiity situation!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystal

SacTown, baby, I Love You!

Does Mickey Lumbo know about this?

Crystal · 10-31-2005, 07:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

Does Mickey Lumbo know about this?

yeah, he knows, he's just in denial

Crystal · 10-31-2005, 07:26 PM

Thanks to all of you for your kind words, support and encouragement. I feel alot better after having shared my dilemma and you guys have really lifted my spirits.

Sure, it sucks to lose a friendship, but I prefer to not have narrow-minded, self-righteous friends anyway. I think I prefer to hang out here at the LoT, where everyone is accepting of each other, regardless of differences in opinion, lifestyle or what have you. You guys rock!

Thanks again for all of your support!

Alex · 10-31-2005, 08:34 PM

See, you've both judged and you've both decided that the other has features that are undesirable for you. It all works out, it's just too bad someone had to be rude first.

Kevy Baby · 11-01-2005, 07:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystal

Thanks again for all of your support!

Just think of us as a great big community bra.

Gemini Cricket · 11-01-2005, 08:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystal

What happened over the weekend has really left me depressed...

Crystal,
I...grrrr...they... arrgghhh... how can they....roooaaarrr.... when I think about.... grrrrowwwwl... 'save? SAVE?!' .... murmur.... He taught inclusiveness... grrrrr.... plank in your own face... arrrrrr.... pretentiously pious jackanapes.... grooooaaannn!
Signed,
GC

MickeyLumbo · 11-01-2005, 10:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crystal

The wife became aware of my bi-sexuality

i wish i was lesbian

10-31-2005, 02:11 PM	#1
Scrooge McSam What? Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 1,635	Dammit Prudence.... This place doesn't make enough mojo for you to keep posting like this.
	Submit to Quotes

10-31-2005, 02:24 PM	#2
Crystal Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 98	SacTown, baby, I Love You! What happened over the weekend has really left me depressed. The people we've had a falling out with have been friends for many years. The wife became aware of my bi-sexuality, something she heard through the grapevine, and now has a need to put me down and treat me as though I am immoral.She feels the need to "save" me and told me I will regret the choices I have made in my personal life. Personally, I feel it really is none of her business, but because we have been friends for so long, it is really difficult to get past this. She is judging mine and SacTowns entire relationship on this one thing that she disapproves of. SacTown and I have the strongest marriage of anyone I know. We have been married for 10 years, together for 15, and friends for 20. We are open and honest with each other, committed to our family and have strong morals and family values.We rarely argue, but engage in mature conversation in regards to any differences we may have. It really bothers me that someone who has little knowledge of the intricate workings of our marriage, someone who has enough marital problems of their own, should choose to judge us in this way. Sorry for the long winded post, but, whew, I feel better already. Thanks!
	Submit to Quotes

10-31-2005, 07:26 PM	#6
Crystal Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 98	Thanks to all of you for your kind words, support and encouragement. I feel alot better after having shared my dilemma and you guys have really lifted my spirits. Sure, it sucks to lose a friendship, but I prefer to not have narrow-minded, self-righteous friends anyway. I think I prefer to hang out here at the LoT, where everyone is accepting of each other, regardless of differences in opinion, lifestyle or what have you. You guys rock! Thanks again for all of your support!
	Submit to Quotes

10-31-2005, 08:34 PM	#7
Alex . Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 13,354	See, you've both judged and you've both decided that the other has features that are undesirable for you. It all works out, it's just too bad someone had to be rude first.
	Submit to Quotes