Societal norms, the Moral Majority and a rant that feels so good

scaeagles · 11-01-2005, 10:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SacTown Chronic

You're wonderful just the way you are and I wouldn't change a thing about you, Crystal.

I love you.

Would you two get a room already?

(feel free to invite anyone else you may wish

)

Alex · 11-01-2005, 10:18 AM

If someone engages in behavior that I think sufficient cause for me to sever ties, I'm not going to allow my (mythical) children to socialize with them either. So that part makes sense to me, I just disagree with the judgment.

That said, if there is a grapevine version of events going around (which if I recall is how they learned about it), you have to wonder what details are going along with it.

Crystal · 11-01-2005, 10:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Alex Stroup

If someone engages in behavior that I think sufficient cause for me to sever ties, I'm not going to allow my (mythical) children to socialize with them either. So that part makes sense to me, I just disagree with the judgment.

That said, if there is a grapevine version of events going around (which if I recall is how they learned about it), you have to wonder what details are going along with it.

I'm not really concerned about the details of what is going along with it through the grapevine. Quite frankly, other people's opinions do not matter to me and if they want to gossip, then they are free to do so. I'm comfortable with who I am and am very secure with myself and my marriage. The only reason any of this has bothered me is because I have been friends with these people for 8 years and it is painful to lose a friendship, and even more painful for me to know that my children will be losing friendships as well.

In regards to not allowing my children to socialize with another's children, I would only allow that if I felt my children were in danger due to the other parent's behavior. My sexuality has absolutely no effect on the children, it's not as if I share any of this info with the kids, or ever behave in a sexual manner around the children. It is just absurd that these people would assume that I would now, knowing that in 8 years I never have. But, hey, their choice and I won't discuss it with them any further,I'm movin' on.

alphabassettgrrl · 11-01-2005, 11:34 AM

It's terrible to lose a friend like that. Well, maybe you don't need them if they're going to see you as bad people.

As noted, your sexuality does not affect your children. Good parents are good parents. End of story. Actually, it's good to model a stable mature marriage to children.

You two do seem to have a good marriage. Congratulations! There are hordes of people who would love to have a spouse who is that devoted and in love and respecting of them.

It's true that open marriages don't work for everybody but it does work for some of us..... I'm guessing that woman's discomfort comes from within. Either she wishes she had the nerve to admit an attraction for someone other than her husband or she's nervous about the state of her marriage. I think it was KB who brought up the idea of projection. We see in others (and are annoyed by) what we most fear to see in ourselves.

Actually, you haven't said if your marriage is open or exclusive to the two of you. Just because one is bisexual doesn't mean anything other than an attraction. What action is taken varies greatly.

Hang in there- we love both of you!

11-01-2005, 10:18 AM	#2
Alex . Join Date: Feb 2005 Posts: 13,354	If someone engages in behavior that I think sufficient cause for me to sever ties, I'm not going to allow my (mythical) children to socialize with them either. So that part makes sense to me, I just disagree with the judgment. That said, if there is a grapevine version of events going around (which if I recall is how they learned about it), you have to wonder what details are going along with it.
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11-01-2005, 11:34 AM	#4
alphabassettgrrl Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 4,978	It's terrible to lose a friend like that. Well, maybe you don't need them if they're going to see you as bad people. As noted, your sexuality does not affect your children. Good parents are good parents. End of story. Actually, it's good to model a stable mature marriage to children. You two do seem to have a good marriage. Congratulations! There are hordes of people who would love to have a spouse who is that devoted and in love and respecting of them. It's true that open marriages don't work for everybody but it does work for some of us..... I'm guessing that woman's discomfort comes from within. Either she wishes she had the nerve to admit an attraction for someone other than her husband or she's nervous about the state of her marriage. I think it was KB who brought up the idea of projection. We see in others (and are annoyed by) what we most fear to see in ourselves. Actually, you haven't said if your marriage is open or exclusive to the two of you. Just because one is bisexual doesn't mean anything other than an attraction. What action is taken varies greatly. Hang in there- we love both of you! __________________ Why cycling? Anything [sport] that had to do with a ball, I wasn't very good at. -Lance Armstrong
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