Why Did I Refuse This Random Act of Kindness?

[Tref]

"If it's free, it's for me"

I would have accepted the drink and if there had been a sales pitch I would have listened quietly for a few seconds and said, No, but thanks for Venti Soy No Foam Latte!

Its true you have to be very careful these days. It seems everything comes with a string attached, even free string. But that doesn't mean you have to put your head in the sand either. Next time, just engage the person in a conversation, find out what its all about. Maybe you'll come away with a good story.

[innerSpaceman]

I've got no taste for your gut, but I'm gonna have to play devil's advocate and declare, from mine, that you were a tad rude, unnecessarily fearful, and socially inappropriate to simply refuse a too-rare kindness of an inconsequential nature in this crass day and age.

[CoasterMatt]

Not that I would ever set foot in a Starbucks in the first place, but what's with all the paranoias? It's not like you were in a bar in Mexico and he was offering you lemonade in a plastic cup...

[3894]

Yeah and I'm not shy about talking with strangers. It's pretty much what I do as part of my assistant anthropologist gig.

Was it that the kind stranger was so much younger or male or that I was thinking in the back of my mind Maybe Tom has helped him but the stranger didn't want to say anything in such a public space* and I wanted Tom to myself for that brief time at Starbucks or ...?

I don't know. I was unnecessarily rude. That much is for sure. The Case of the Starbucks Stranger remains a mystery to me. I'm usually a shade less bitchy.


*Think something like psychiatrist and you're close.

[wendybeth]

I think that's why Helen posted this thread- to try and figure out her response. I think she was acting instinctively, and I find it interesting that nearly all of the responses taking her to task for her actions are from the LoT guys. (Excepting GC and Rstar). Could it be that women's intuition was at work here? Oftentimes, it's so strong that it just kicks in and we react before we have time to think about it. I'm going with the idea that Helen knew something wasn't quite right here- she is not a rude or unintelligent woman, and I think her 'gut' knew something wasn't right. In fact, Helen is probably one of the most gracious persons on the LoT, so I totally disagree with the 'rude' assessments.

[lashbear]

Originally Posted by wendybeth

I find it interesting that nearly all of the responses taking her to task for her actions are from the LoT guys..

Helen, Yor A Poo Poo Hed.



Actually, I don't know how I'd react. Maybe I'd have first asked him why?

[wendybeth]

I think it is a combination of Alex and Rstar's comments: an unsolicited, rather intrusive question coupled with a preexisting condition (no caffeine) is a dangerous combination. At least in my house it is.

[MouseWife]

Originally Posted by lashbear

Helen, Yor A Poo Poo Hed.



Actually, I don't know how I'd react. Maybe I'd have first asked him why?

LOL Oh Lash, I can so see you doing this 'Oh, and why is this?? What do you mean?'

{sort of like when you asked me what my hat meant 'System of a Down? What is that? What does that mean?' Very polite and very curious. }

[BarTopDancer]

Helen - you could always offer to buy the person behind you a drink the next time you're at a Starbucks to "right the cosmos" if you still feel bad.

[Morrigoon]

Right to be wary, wrong to walk out. Interesting reaction. I think we're missing some essential element, some environmental signal you picked up on that you don't remember or haven't shared.

But sometime people are nice because t occurs to them to be nice. Perhaps he had a bit of good fortune and was trying to pay back the cosmos by bringing a little sunshine into a random stranger's day. You just don't know.

I think if you ever see him again,, you buy him a coffee, and just explain that it was an instinctual reaction you felt bad about later.

Sometimes we just react strangely to things, but humans have a "first response" instinct for a reason. Even though it's not always the best response socially, instinct's first priority is survival. So "it is what it is" ((sorry GC)