Body Image...

[cirquelover]

This is a very timely topic indeed! As I grow older I find I am less happy with myself, in all ways.

I am trying to improve my physical self because the cellulite seems to be popping up where it wasn't before. It could also be I was ignoring it before!! The extra pounds really help accentuate the problem areas though!

My hair has been greying like crazy for the last few years. Zach and I even dies my hair last year because he said it was getting grey. This morning I go to show Gary CP's thread on Obama and he says " Oh my hunny, I'm so sorry!" as he starts pawing through my hair and yanking a few more white ones! It's also thinning alot, which really has me concerned. I have very straight,thin hair to begin with and every time I lose a bunch I freak out a little more.

I think the piece de resistance is I'm feeling stupid some days. I look back at my postings yesterday and can SEE that I can't spell and some days I come off looking very disjointed or scattered. I don't want to become my Mother!! Help Me! So I have been doing brain age on my Wii, it's supposed to help. The problem with that is somedays my "brain age" is 10-15 years older than me!

CP- Don't ever feel bad, or let others make you feel that way, when you need to air your feelings too! I have friends in all shapes and sizes and I don't think any of us is supremely confident in every aspect of their bodies and themselves. You are just as entitled to your issues as they are to theirs!

[blueerica]

Seriously, guys, I need a Wii.

[tracilicious]

I love this thread.

Up until recently I've had pretty crippling body issues. Starting at three when my older brother used to make fun of my baby chub. From that point on I considered myself fat, even though I was a pretty average kid, than a very chubby early teen, than a skinny older teen, then an average adult, than an adult with a lot of baby fat of a different kind to lose after two pregnancies (and two very stressful moves that put on more weight than the babies did). Throughout every body stage I always considered myself fat and ugly. Now I look back at those times and wish I had appreciated myself more. Not only because sometimes I was not fat, but because we all deserve self appreciation.

I found myself at a dieting/weight loss block recently. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Part of it was probably just being tired of spending the last 15 years dieting, but a lot of it was that I wanted to accept myself, no...love myself, the way I am right now. There is a lot about my body that I want to change, but there are also some things that are pretty great. The big revelation was that I can love myself while still wanting to change my physical appearance.

I'm eating super healthy lately and exercising more, but it feels now like an act of self care rather than self violence. It's funny, but now even though I want to lose forty pounds I feel hot more often. And I get hit on more, too. And I think I am hotter than when I was a skinny nineteen year old. I'm smarter, more cultured, funnier, more confident, and the sex is a whole hell of a lot better too. Hotness is an internal thing. I don't care how you look, you can still come across as hot.

Here's to all the hot lot babes.

[blueerica]

And I should mention again that How To Look Good Naked is a pretty darn good show. I don't know if it's a "must-catch-every-week" and miss other shows kind of show, but hopefully they'll build an arsenal enough to have repeats, and in the meanwhile I get to record this show.

Huzzah!

[Prudence]

I don't think female body image would be such a big deal if women valued each other for more than our looks. Not that men do not also judge each other on appearance, but my impression from the outside is that other attributes are also valued: physical strength, salary, intelligence, etc. Might be just as superficial, but there are other assets considered when assessing a man's self worth.

My experience with women is that women, as a collective gender, buy into the idea that a) physical beauty is the most important attribute and b) there's only room for one woman above the glass ceiling -- with physical appearance the major determinant in who that woman should be. If we want to be treated as more than just baby factories we need to treat each other as more than baby factories. This is a gross generalization, of course, but I wish that women would value each other more for all they do and all they are that is worthwhile and admirable.

I might look like an ugly duckling, but my mind is a glorious swan. I wish more people would take the time to learn and appreciate that before allowing my appearance to speak for not just my appearance, but also my intelligence, morality, and divine worth.

[alphabassettgrrl]

Originally Posted by wendybeth

Is there ever a time in our lives when we get to just like who we are and what we look like? I've yet to hit it, whatever and whenever it may be.

Some women do, some don't, I think.

Originally Posted by MouseWife

Then, our younger niece, about 35, constantly has surgery. Her mom {our sis} tells us how good she looks. Hello? Of course, she's had lipo and every other thing she can have done.

Does it make her happy? Or does she continue to have surgery? My theory is that surgery doesn't make us happy unless we're happy inside first but that doesn't happen very often. So many of us look to surgery (outside) to make us happy (inside).

Originally Posted by tracilicious

I'm eating super healthy lately and exercising more, but it feels now like an act of self care rather than self violence. It's funny, but now even though I want to lose forty pounds I feel hot more often. And I get hit on more, too. And I think I am hotter than when I was a skinny nineteen year old. I'm smarter, more cultured, funnier, more confident, and the sex is a whole hell of a lot better too. Hotness is an internal thing. I don't care how you look, you can still come across as hot.

:: cheers :: Hurray!!! Hotness is definitely an internal thing.

Originally Posted by Prudence

but I wish that women would value each other more for all they do and all they are that is worthwhile and admirable.

:: cheers:: for you, too. I absolutely agree- I wish we would value each other for more than just looks. I wish we would cooperate instead of compete. How about be nice to each other?

[wendybeth]

Just today I had a conversation with a client to that effect, ABG. I'll never understand why women view each other as competition rather than comrades. My mom could never retain female friends- she would get all competitive weird with them and before long there would be a huge falling-out. (She was the same way with us girls). What's really funny is that she fancied herself a feminist.

I think we hold each other back from success in this world more than any glass ceiling constructed by the good ol' boy's club. I try not to be part of that problem, and I will quickly distance myself from any woman who I suspect is like my mom. My radar is pretty good, and as such the female friendships I do have are longstanding and mutually respectful.

And Pru? Please stop referring to yourself as ugly, because it's not true. I won't have anyone talking about my friend that way, all right?

[MouseWife]

abg~ nope. She isn't happy. And you are so right, it is on the inside that she really does have problems. I think she feels if she looks perfect, she is. Poor girl, she really does have a lot of problems but this, of course, does not fix it.

wb~ you are so right. At work, it is the women who have issues with me. Not that I have men fawning over me, they just don't get all uptight over me. But, one woman in particular, damn, but she really knocks every thing about me. Mostly my parenting. I won't go into it but I don't argue with her as I feel what I say would insult the other women. That is something I never would want to do.

Watching t.v. tonight, wow, there are tons of images that are there to make us {me} insecure, to look at myself and feel uncomfortable with how I look when I do things....

Umm...I know why I am in charge of our family pictures. ;0)

[alphabassettgrrl]

I think the competition has to do with "getting a man". Yet even once they get one, they are still wierd. Whatever. I'm with you, WB, that my female friends are truly my friends and don't have that weirdness dynamic. I may have fewer of them than someone else, but I like my friends. I'm happy with my choice.

I think another factor going into our odd behaviors is that we have learned that to get ahead in a man's world, we have to act as competitive as men, in the same way as men. Only we don't. There are ways of getting ahead where we don't have to sell our soul. Let's do that. Maybe we won't be high-powered executives embezzling millions, but we can be important in other ways, and most importanly, feel good about how we got there.

[Prudence]

Actually, I think we can be competitive, but we should compete with our whole selves, not just our image. And drop the "there can be only one" mentality. It's okay for other women to be successful, too.