Question for gay men

[€uroMeinke]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

See, I don't get this. (Not doubting your personal deal, but I don't get this sentiment in general.)

I don't get it either - I can certainly pick out a more attractive man and have a sense as to what I find attractive in a man versus general consensus. I wonder if it's just a cultural artifact of men lacking the vocabulary to even talk about it - it's just not a conversation straight men have.

Then maybe you have to go to the concept of men's "success" being their most "attractive" feature. Men can more easily talk about toys, status symbols, competitive events, etc.

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Honestly, Alex, I'm there with you re: Bill Clinton. And Viggo Mortensen in any guise other than Aragorn. I kind of get Depp. But frankly, I don't see what anyone sees in Pitt. He looks kind of like a rat to me.

But then, I've long been influenced by the things that resemble figures I first found attractive as my early sexuality bloomed. I find many Brits attractive (thanks to the keen 70s Robin Hood. A fox indeed.) I had a long history of finding gay men attractive (due, in part, to my first crush and childhood imaginary friend, Richard Simmons) but after some teenaged years of heartbreak, that has generally passed. Chiefly, I find myself attracted to geeks. Passionate, funny, clever geeks. (And no, not of the chicken-killing kind.)

[Cadaverous Pallor]

Regarding the attractiveness of penises - In my very personal point of view, I think there definitely is such a thing. Only when they're hard, though. Naked shots of men with flaccid dicks staring intently into the camera are more odd to me than sexy.

After having seen the Murakami exhibit recently I'd have to point to his "Lonesome Cowboy" as an example of an attractive penis. In the bizarre context, it's actually rather naturalistic, large but not overly so, looking rather real even as it ejaculates so impossibly.

NSFW LINKS:
http://www.uark.edu/campus-resources...owboy-1997.jpg
http://www.textesgais.com/images/cowboy.jpg

[Alex]

I find many Brits attractive (thanks to the keen 70s Robin Hood. A fox indeed.) I had a long history of finding gay men attractive (due, in part, to my first crush and childhood imaginary friend, Richard Simmons)

I find this interesting. So if you don't know a person is British or gay, do they suddenly become more attractive once you learn?

I notice that of all of the "attractive" indicators you give none of them really have anything to do with appearance (or don't have reliable appearance elements).

This is something I talk about all the time with Lani. I have two very different sets of "attractive" criteria. If I'm just looking at a stranger from across the room then it is all about shallow physical characteristics. I like tall, Asian, red head, breasts a bit on the large side, mature looking, etc. That is most pleasing to just look at (obviously, not common to find in a single package).

And those criteria have almost nothing to do with being a person I'd want to date, marry, hang out with, etc.

[Alex]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

NSFW LINKS:
http://www.uark.edu/campus-resources...owboy-1997.jpg
http://www.textesgais.com/images/cowboy.jpg

Nope, just a penis. And I'm sure it is just the lighting but it looks like it has a pretty severe rash going. Rash's are definitely unsexy.

[innerSpaceman]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

In the bizarre context, it's actually rather naturalistic, large but not overly so, looking rather real even as it ejaculates so impossibly.

Oh, pshaw, i came like that two nites ago.

[JWBear]

Originally Posted by Alex

I understand "classicly" attractive men and can predict that. I have no problem predicting that Brad Pitt will be found attractive. The David archetype is easy, it is around the edges where I get lost.

I have no idea what it is about Bill Clinton that so many women find (or found) attractive. Or Viggo Mortensen. Or Johnny Depp.

Mmmmm Viggo....

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

Oh, pshaw, i came like that two nites ago.

TMI!!!

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Originally Posted by Alex

I find this interesting. So if you don't know a person is British or gay, do they suddenly become more attractive once you learn?

I notice that of all of the "attractive" indicators you give none of them really have anything to do with appearance (or don't have reliable appearance elements).

This is something I talk about all the time with Lani. I have two very different sets of "attractive" criteria. If I'm just looking at a stranger from across the room then it is all about shallow physical characteristics. I like tall, Asian, red head, breasts a bit on the large side, mature looking, etc. That is most pleasing to just look at (obviously, not common to find in a single package).

And those criteria have almost nothing to do with being a person I'd want to date, marry, hang out with, etc.

I find it an interesting topic, too.

You're right... my indicators are mostly not visual. I'm strongly kinesthetic, I think, in my various attractions. Images of pretty people kind of leave me cold - the same with seeing someone across the room. It's been pretty rare that I've noticed someone walking down the street, for instance, and found them attractive. Frankly, I'd notice a (what I find) beautiful woman across the room before a man. But the way a man speaks, how intensely, how passionately, how intelligently... or the way he makes me feel (or how he would make me feel if I were, say, part of the movie action)...

I suppose if I had to specify the physical qualities I'm attracted to, I... I guess I'd say... handsome but not a classical way? Not particularly in shape? I've always preferred the not-at-all-muscle-bound thin or the not-at-all-thin. I have trouble qualifying it, because basically, until I interact with someone (or, at times, when they're interacting on screen, or are interviewed, eetc) I kind of feel nothing about them.

My attraction to gay men in my youth was probably about the warm way that the wonderful gay men in my life treated me, our shared interests (often artistic in nature) and the intellectual discussions we enjoyed. Perhaps, to an extent, their impeccable grooming.

My attraction to brits may be that they come across as noble, or sensitive, or intelligent. Or it may just be the accent.

My attraction to geeks is, in part, more physical. If that makes sense, which I'm not sure it does, but maybe if Brad Pitt lost some muscle tone, threw on a sweater vest and started wearing glasses, I'd find him more attractive. Glasses are hot.

I wonder if all of this stems back to personal observations about sex? I've dated some "pretty boys," but they were never much in the sack; too interested in themselves, imagining that their bodies were all they needed for me to have an orgasm. The geeks I've dated (ooh, and the one I married especially) on the other hand, have been much more interesting sexually. Much more willing to be playful, to be adventurous with foreplay, to make me laugh.

I can say with all honesty that the most I was ever turned on was as a result of doing artistic work with my husband. The epitome of what I find compelling: a meld of the intellectualism, creativity and passion that bled over into the bedroom like melting butter.

And that was probably more than you ever wanted to know about me. Ah well. There it is.

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

Oh, pshaw, i came like that two nites ago.

I'm sorry, you have GOT to demonstrate that for us sometime.

[blueerica]

Hehe... I have a personal story about Richard Simmons that makes me smile to this day, but it's better told than written, so perhaps I'll remember it another day.

I think all bodies can be beautiful, it's about finding the lines and the curvatures. I spent the better part of the time I was in California doing 'Life Art' with nudes of both genders and all shapes and sizes. Sometimes I think it desensitized me from a genitalia-specific awe, to an appreciation for things like shoulders, necks, even armpits... yes they can be beautiful, too. And being able to commit it to paper, or print, or film - that's where my fascination lies.

I have stacks of good stuff and crap, and it's dawned on me that some of it needed to be better protected before I left. Perhaps on my next visit home.