Question for gay men

[Kevy Baby]

Originally Posted by innerSpaceman

Straight women seem to know very well when another woman is attractive, even if they are not personally attracted to them. I think many straight men (GD and others exempted) are completely aware of what makes a man attractive, and full well know it when they see it.

I believe that there is an overall societal stigma against ANYTHING reflecting possible male-to-male attraction; even something as simple as acknowledging that another man might be attractive. To do so would imply a homosexuality and that would be considered perverse or unacceptable behavior. I am definitely not agreeing with this, I just see it in a generalized sense.

Whereas that same society thinks it is fine for women to be able to make attractiveness judgments about other women without thinking that there is any homosexuality/perversion/etc. involved.

Overall, I believe that our society as a whole has historically more readily accepted lesbian relationships than homosexual relationships*. Not that it is a black and white issue, more of a "lesbian relationships are slightly less unacceptable than gay relationships." Think about when we were kids: if a girl played with boy toys, she was just a tomboy. But if a boy wanted to play with Barbie, there was something wrong with him.

Further, we see a much higher level of acceptance of "bi-curious" females than "bi-curious" males.

Many years ago, when I was a DJ for a swingers group** (no, not the kind of swinging that Lindyhop enjoys), the rough estimate was that 70-80% of the women were bisexual and this was normal (for this group) and fully accepted. However (in what I always considered a hypocrisy), ANY contact between men was verboten.

Personally, I am able to look at some men and think they are attractive. I have found (as one might expect of a couple together for 22 years) that many of the traits I find attractive in a man are shared with my wife: what she likes I tend to like and what she dislikes, I tend to dislike. Neither of us like the big massive body builders. She goes nuts for Brendan Frasier in George of the Jungle (yes, it is at best a mediocre movie, but it is ALL about how he looks) and I too think he looks hot.

But I think my attitude is because I have made a conscious effort to get in touch with my feminine side. No, this has nothing to do with my sexuality (although it has affected it), but more about being in touch with my softer, compassionate, etc traits. I hold the belief that we ALL have both masculine and feminine traits, but that society has forced us to only identify with our gender.





* One thing I have never had a solid handle on is the nomenclature of gay relationships. Two women together are generally labeled "lesbians", which is a definitive indicator that it is two women. But there is not (that I am aware of) a specific and commonly used (outside of slang terms) man-to-man label that is truly applicable to men only. Often, the labels "gay" and "homosexual" are used for man-to-man relationships, but both of these technically apply to either gender. Am I missing or forgetting something?

** No, I never partook in any of the activities (other than the occasional woman giving me a grope or display), but boy did I see a lot!