Advice request: How to do with stupid relatives?

[wendybeth]

I understand how hard it can be to change your family's perception of you and the role you play in your family dynamic, but it's never too late. In my case, it has paid off in unexpected ways. I went from being the kid sis and youngest daughter- who's opinion was often discounted and who could be guilted into anything- to more of a team member on the family board of directors. With our parents aging and some big decisions cropping up as to their future care, etc, this has been a really good thing- both my mother and MIL are at a point in their lives where they need help and they accept that maybe I actually do have some good ideas and their best interests at heart. It sounds like your wife and you will probably be the caregivers when your MIL needs it, so now would be an excellent time to start standing your ground and letting those brothers know you won't play this destructive game anymore. When MIL finds out it's actually a lot let stressful than just pretending like everything's hunky-dory, she'll be a lot happier as well.