Back home? Or back from home?

Morrigoon · 01-18-2008, 10:41 AM

Well, I'm going to buck the trend here. For all the voices against "pulling a geographic", I actually think there are times when that can be very effective - typically when you catch yourself in a rut and you need to effect a major change in your life to shake things up a bit.

Do you feel you're in a rut? I hadn't gotten that impression.

I also understand what it's like to feel like a place doesn't suit you (hel-LO, I lived in Texas for a while!) Different places have different cultures, that's just how it is. Some geographic cultures will suit, and some won't. The pace of life is decidedly different in Hawaii, just as it is decidedly different in New York. The attitudes of the people is different, just as they are different between Northern and Southern California.

As nice as parts of NoCal can be, if you had me living there and gave me the choice to move "home" to SoCal, I'd do it, every time. If you feel the same way about moving "home" to Hawaii, then there's nothing wrong with that. You've tried elsewhere, and you've found that Dorothy was right: there's no place like home.

Depending on the source of your depression, it may or may not be something that can be changed by moving. But it will at least answer the question of whether or not it can be changed. Then you can address any other causes.

California will always be here, her golden coastline shining in the afternoon sun. If you feel it's time to be in Hawaii, do it. You can always come back.

(That being said, I'll miss you terribly)

Ghoulish Delight · 01-18-2008, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morrigoon

Well, I'm going to buck the trend here. For all the voices against "pulling a geographic", I actually think there are times when that can be very effective - typically when you catch yourself in a rut and you need to effect a major change in your life to shake things up a bit.

Sure, but I think what concerns most of us is the list of times he's tried the change of scenery thing. Of course, several of those weren't entirely his own choosing, but I think everyone's just encouraging him to be sure he's taking the opportunity to be honest with himself and to realize that, even if Hawaii is the right place for him, simply the act of moving there isn't going to solve the particular issues he's mentioned.

Of course, I'll throw out a selfish reason for you to indeed move to Hawaii, Brad...gives me an excuse to visit.

katiesue · 01-18-2008, 11:04 AM

I can completely understand. I'd move home in a flash if it were at all possible. Sure you're still you no matter what location you live in, and your problems are still the same. But there is a difference being at home where you feel comfortable.

San Diego isn't my home. I've never felt at home here. I don't like it here. But unfortunately I can't move. Which makes me tend to like it even less.

There are pros/cons to living anywhere. You just have to decide for yourself which ones you can live with and which ones you can't.

The other thing is - some people have the place where they grew up. And other people have home. And there is a difference. Susanville will always be home for me. Even if my Mom moved and I no longer had a lot of family there. I'm 6th generation on my Dad's side to live there. It's just where I'm from and it's very hard to describe to the people who only grew up somewhere.

I wouldn't rush into anything. But if your trip has you thinking about it then ponder it some more. Look for jobs. Figure out costs of living. Check out schools. You can do all of this from LA. And give it a little time. If in a couple of months or more you still feel very strongly it's the place for you then maybe it is.

Chernabog · 01-18-2008, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Morrigoon

Well, I'm going to buck the trend here. For all the voices against "pulling a geographic", I actually think there are times when that can be very effective - typically when you catch yourself in a rut and you need to effect a major change in your life to shake things up a bit.

Just speaking from my own experience with having pulled a geographic to New Orleans back in 2004, it was a good experience retrospectively because:

1) It taught me the lesson of "wherever you go, there you are". I thought my problems were Los Angeles and my parents. My problems followed me to New Orleans because I was in New Orleans. Once I had lived in New Orleans for a few months, suddenly my problem was New Orleans (I didn't come to the realization of the true meaning of my having gone until well after I was back). I wouldn't want to see GC move to Hawaii only to come to the same realization, in Hawaii, but it's hard to see sometimes.

2) I had gone through school for 7 years after high school and had never taken a break. I needed to clear my head from the "but I've never taken time off to do what I REALLY want" mentality. But again, see #1. My problems cropped up, and I still didn't get to do what I thought I wanted (which I could have done, and am doing now to a degree, in Los Angeles).

3) It was a whole new experience/city I had never experienced before.

4) I get to make nutritious desserts for New Years Eve parties.

So all in all, it was good that I had pulled the geographic because it stuck my issues in my face WHEN I CAME BACK. I went with the "all my problems will be solved" mentality and holy lord was I in for a rude awakening.

Again, I don't want to psychoanalyze GC over the 'net, but that was my experience.... just food for thought if he thinks it applies to his situation!!!

Deebs · 01-18-2008, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katiesue

San Diego isn't my home. I've never felt at home here. I don't like it here. But unfortunately I can't move.

^This describes my situation, but substitute Stockton for San Diego. I hate it here; I married into it and am trying to divorce out of it. Not so simple.

Quote:

I wouldn't rush into anything.

Sounds like there are enough voices of caution here to keep that from happening, but I agree.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chernabog

Again, I don't want to psychoanalyze GC over the 'net, but that was my experience....

Well, yeah, there is that.

Just a little friendly psychoanalysis...
I'm trying not to jump in with too much, because I haven't spent much time with you, other than talking about our dogs and Boston. And a little bit of movie talk.

I can feel the kindness with which this is all meant, and I haven't been around here long. You're really well loved here, which will follow you to HI if you decide to go, of course.

Quote:

just food for thought if he thinks it applies to his situation!!!

Exactly.

Kevy Baby · 01-18-2008, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deebs

^This describes my situation, but substitute Stockton for San Diego. I hate it here; I married into it and am trying to divorce out of it. Not so simple.

It sounds like katiesue got the better deal. Or at least the lesser of two evils.

Deebs · 01-18-2008, 11:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

It sounds like katiesue got the better deal. Or at least the lesser of two evils.

Shhyeah.

katiesue · 01-18-2008, 12:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

It sounds like katiesue got the better deal. Or at least the lesser of two evils.

I'd take Stockton myself but only because I'd be in at least driving distance from home.

Deebs · 01-18-2008, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by katiesue

I'd take Stockton myself but only because I'd be in at least driving distance from home.

Ah, this is true.

I feel outnumbered here. Stockton is my ex's home and he has his whole family around. I have a small family to begin with, and it got smaller last year when my dad died.

I don't pretend that my life would be magically wonderful and perfect if only I could get out of here. But I do think it would be less sucky. And I want to be near the DL and my favorite person.

Disneyphile · 01-18-2008, 12:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deebs

I don't pretend that my life would be magically wonderful and perfect if only I could get out of here.

And that's why moving wouldn't be a bad thing for ya - you've already addressed the real issues.

01-18-2008, 10:41 AM	#1
Morrigoon I throw stones at houses Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Location: Location Posts: 9,534	Well, I'm going to buck the trend here. For all the voices against "pulling a geographic", I actually think there are times when that can be very effective - typically when you catch yourself in a rut and you need to effect a major change in your life to shake things up a bit. Do you feel you're in a rut? I hadn't gotten that impression. I also understand what it's like to feel like a place doesn't suit you (hel-LO, I lived in Texas for a while!) Different places have different cultures, that's just how it is. Some geographic cultures will suit, and some won't. The pace of life is decidedly different in Hawaii, just as it is decidedly different in New York. The attitudes of the people is different, just as they are different between Northern and Southern California. As nice as parts of NoCal can be, if you had me living there and gave me the choice to move "home" to SoCal, I'd do it, every time. If you feel the same way about moving "home" to Hawaii, then there's nothing wrong with that. You've tried elsewhere, and you've found that Dorothy was right: there's no place like home. Depending on the source of your depression, it may or may not be something that can be changed by moving. But it will at least answer the question of whether or not it can be changed. Then you can address any other causes. California will always be here, her golden coastline shining in the afternoon sun. If you feel it's time to be in Hawaii, do it. You can always come back. (That being said, I'll miss you terribly) __________________ http://bash.org/?top "It is useless for sheep to pass a resolution in favor of vegetarianism while wolves remain of a different opinion." -- William Randolph Inge
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01-18-2008, 11:04 AM	#3
katiesue Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: San Diego Posts: 4,678	I can completely understand. I'd move home in a flash if it were at all possible. Sure you're still you no matter what location you live in, and your problems are still the same. But there is a difference being at home where you feel comfortable. San Diego isn't my home. I've never felt at home here. I don't like it here. But unfortunately I can't move. Which makes me tend to like it even less. There are pros/cons to living anywhere. You just have to decide for yourself which ones you can live with and which ones you can't. The other thing is - some people have the place where they grew up. And other people have home. And there is a difference. Susanville will always be home for me. Even if my Mom moved and I no longer had a lot of family there. I'm 6th generation on my Dad's side to live there. It's just where I'm from and it's very hard to describe to the people who only grew up somewhere. I wouldn't rush into anything. But if your trip has you thinking about it then ponder it some more. Look for jobs. Figure out costs of living. Check out schools. You can do all of this from LA. And give it a little time. If in a couple of months or more you still feel very strongly it's the place for you then maybe it is. __________________ My life is so exciting I can hardly stand it.
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