Back home? Or back from home?

[LSPoorEeyorick]

Originally Posted by Morrigoon

Well, to be fair, he IS moving "back home". So you could say he's coming to the conclusion of "pulling a geographic".

This is true - though...

I too do not want to psychoanalyze GC, nor do I think that my experience completely speaks for his. I am just going to share my experience, in the hopes that it helps.

I "pulled a geographic" for several reasons - to run from my abusive relationship (and, for the sake of honesty, because it's damn hard to watch my mother suffering), to get away from a state that simply didn't provide cultural fulfillment, and to seek jobs in the industry in which I so very strongly wanted to work.

Moving back home, especially within those first two extremely difficult years where I - like Teresa - knew no one and had no job in my field - would have just been pulling another geographic, running before I knew what it was I was running from. I may have moved to LA, in part, to get away from things that were haunting me... but I STAYED in LA because more strongly in my mind, I knew I needed what Los Angeles had to offer. And offer it did. ANY city takes real time to feel like you're truly home.

This is my story - not Brad's. Not all of it applies, maybe even none. But I thought I'd share it.

And I want you to know, dear, that we all love and support you, no matter where you are. Some of our friends are asking you to consider what it is you're running from, and that's an important question. But I think another important question is, what exactly are you running TO? What do you want to do with your life? If you're patient, can you do it here? Can you do it there?

In the end, these kind of life changes have to be a leap of faith. I think - as Deebs says - everyone is trying to offer their experiences and thoughts out of kindness and love. And every leap of faith needs to start from a springboard of clear thinking (and sometimes, that's hard to do solo - and maybe it's why you reached out for our opinions.)

[Disneyphile]

Originally Posted by LSPoorEeyorick

Some of our friends are asking you to consider what it is you're running from, and that's an important question. But I think another important question is, what exactly are you running TO? What do you want to do with your life? If you're patient, can you do it here? Can you do it there?

Exactly.

[Gemini Cricket]

So much to read, so much to read. I'll read it all when I get home. (I have 456 emails to sort through. Ha!) Lots of catching up to do at work...

[Snowflake]

Originally Posted by Gemini Cricket

So much to read, so much to read. I'll read it all when I get home. (I have 456 emails to sort through. Ha!) Lots of catching up to do at work...

Well, don't blame us, you asked for it!

[Disneyphile]

Originally Posted by Snowflake

Well, don't blame us, you asked for it!

Precisely. With this crowd, you ask one question and get at least 40 different answers. Just like if you ask for bacon, you get 5 pounds of it.

[Moonliner]

Originally Posted by Disneyphile

Precisely. With this crowd, you ask one question and get at least 40 different answers. Just like if you ask for bacon, you get 5 pounds of it.

Please!! Can I have bacon?

[Kevy Baby]

Originally Posted by Disneyphile

With this crowd, you ask one question and get at least 40 different answers.

From 20 different people.

Originally Posted by Moonliner

Please!! Can I have bacon?

Originally Posted by Disneyphile

Just like if you ask for bacon, you get 5 pounds of it.

[Alex]

I meant to ask, if you did go back to Hawai'i, would it be to Honolulu or one of the neighbor islands? My recollection is your family being on the Big Island but maybe I'm misremembering and I'm thinking of someone else.

[Gemini Cricket]

I've had one of my random changes of heart again and have decided to move to Burkina Faso. The reason being that I like saying "Burkina Faso" so much.

I also lied, there was a lull and I decided to read all of the above.

First off, my depression and being with someone are not linked. It does read that way, but it was more me vomiting it all out there in one breath.

(The ladies in scheduling are singing Sugar Ray songs right now. Is murder still illegal?)

What is a big draw for me is the culture in Hawai'i. It's more than just another state, Hawai'i is its own country in many ways. There is a lightheartedness that I enjoy and a level of courtesy that I have not experienced much here. It's hard to explain. I also feel that when I express myself with Hawaiian courtesy, I get taken advantage of. Not everyone, but some... especially in the field I am in. I don't have the killer instinct to be the kind of person that could step on someone's neck in order to achieve something. And I feel that that is not a quality you necessarily need back home to survive and achieve goals. (Again, there are people in Hawai'i that would gladly use your lower intestines to climb up on on their way up the hill of success. But not as many as here...)

Boy, this would be a good Skype conversation, I tell you what. I have so much to say.

Now that I've started to get back into the groove of work, the pull towards moving is not as strong today. Maybe it was an iSm-esque impulse that made him want to move to San Francisco that moved me too. Don't know.

It's not off the table, though.

And, no, I would not leave before making certain that a good job was waiting for me in Hawai'i.

Alex - The fam is on O'ahu. My mom's side of the family is from the Big Island, my dad's from Kaua'i.

I also have reached a level of understanding and love with my immediate family. I get them now and they don't affect me as strongly as they once did. They're mellowing with age, and maybe I am too.

I've also been thinking about getting older. I'm not the same Brad that worked in the industry when he was 21. I'm much wiser now... and much less accepting of putting up with the Hollywood diva attitude. (See: Swimming with Sharks or even Devil Wears Prada as prime examples.) Instead of being "oh, wow, they're high-maintenance but they're also important Hollywood people", I'm more like "get off that high horse, snob. I'm pushing 40, don't fvck with me" now.

I'm rambling.

Anyway, if I can think of more to say, I'll post it.

Any comments?

[innerSpaceman]

GC, when I first moved to L.A., it was with the intention of breaking into the movie biz. It didn't take much familarization with it to realize that the cut-throat, dog-eat-puppy, step on neighbor's neck culture was not only too intimidating to me ... it was a culture which would ruin my life even if my most fervent career and artistic dreams came true.

I ran from it. I probably just wasn't gutsy enough to pull it off, but I'm glad I escaped from the constant temptation to become even more of a lousy prick than I already am.


You don't have that weakness of evil personality to deal with. But I have to point out that your vision of "Los Angeles" is skewed by the signature industry of Los Angeles.

The great thing about L.A., over perhaps all other cities in America, is its vast and very varied population. You can find the nicest and best-fitting people. But working in the Industry is not the best way ... unless you can wall that off from your personal life ... and not let that culture form your view of an entire city or your entire life in that city.



So .... if you're going to give up the BIZ to move to Hawaii for the nicer environment, I suggest you first try the easier move of just giving up the BIZ and staying right here in L.A. It will get nicer on Day 2.



Now, I'm NOT suggesting you do that. Just pointing out that it will take hard work to both work in your chosen field, where I think you have much potential for success, and to be satisfied with the humanity of the world around you. It can be done ... but it's a definite challenge.