WTF Stories of the Week

[Alex]

All I know is that I'm not going to recognize or participate in anybody's marriage.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Knowing Alex, I would assume that also includes his own.

[Not Afraid]

Originally Posted by SzczerbiakManiac

(speaking only for myself)
Because I fear for my safety and/or personal property. Obviously, this varies geographically, but only in the gayest of gay neighborhoods would I feel comfortable exercising my right to a PDA with my sweetheart. Hell, even WeHo has its share of gay bashings.

Originally Posted by JWBear

Again... All fine and good, but still not the point. Here it is in big letters:

Straight people display, show, demonstrate, proclaim, (insert whatever word you want) their sexuality every single day that they are alive; regardless of whether or not they realize it.

Can I say it any simpler? I know it may be obvious for some, but I am speaking to those who claim they do not.

Heterosexuals proclaim their sexuality daily but homosexuals don't because of fear? (I'm just connecting these two thoughts from two different people but I see a correlation.)

I understand the frustration of homosexuals, however, the solution seems to be to ignore the fear and proclaim away. But, if you make the choice NOT to proclaim yourself then you've made that choice and really can't complain about it. It's not like it is illegal to hold hands or kiss in public. Really, do you REALLY think people are going to physically attack you if you do? Is the number of current gay bashings really that high in comparison to the population?

[Cadaverous Pallor]

If two big burly bears hold hands or kiss in public, who is going to be stupid enough to mess with them?

[JWBear]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

If two big burly bears hold hands or kiss in public, who is going to be stupid enough to mess with them?

Damn straight... er... gay!

[lashbear]

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

Heterosexuals proclaim their sexuality daily but homosexuals don't because of fear? (I'm just connecting these two thoughts from two different people but I see a correlation.)

I understand the frustration of homosexuals, however, the solution seems to be to ignore the fear and proclaim away. But, if you make the choice NOT to proclaim yourself then you've made that choice and really can't complain about it. It's not like it is illegal to hold hands or kiss in public. Really, do you REALLY think people are going to physically attack you if you do? Is the number of current gay bashings really that high in comparison to the population?

Unfortunately, I have seen a lot of people hospitalised due to Gay PDA's. Certain areas and suburbs are more high risk than others.

There is also the issue of perception. I know of a Melbourne teacher who won't embrace or hold hands with his partner in the street because he works in a big catholic primary school, and local people seeing that might just start the whole "Gay Guy working in a boys school" line of thinking. With some of the horrible court cases of sexual predatory behavious happening in schools over here at the moment, I don't blame him one bit.

I DO mention I have a partner in conversation and as the conversation proceeds I slip in a few "He's" and "His". People don't freak out as much at this generally.

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

If two big burly bears hold hands or kiss in public, who is going to be stupid enough to mess with them?

Ask me that again in Disneyland and we'll find out. (and one of them will likely be in a Kilt.... )

I don't proclaim my sexuality, but I give out enough information to make it known, just as 90% (or more) of the population do. It's the old party / getting to know you conversation thing. "Are you single, do you have kids, what does your partner do?" I find answering these questions honestly has never ended up in a regrettable situation as yet. Touch Wood.

[lashbear]

and now to bed, cos it's nearly 1am.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

Really, do you REALLY think people are going to physically attack you if you do? Is the number of current gay bashings really that high in comparison to the population?

It's a numbers game. Gay bashings occur daily. Am I genuinely afraid a guy is going to look at me (specifically me) holding my sweetheart's hand and attack? Those are pretty slim odds because of my size. Am I literally afraid he would bring friends? Well now the odds are "improving". Am I concerned the perp may cause harm to my property (e.g., car)? Well, yes, actually.

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

If two big burly bears hold hands or kiss in public, who is going to be stupid enough to mess with them?

Do we really want to find out? And what if he has a gun? Burliness wouldn't be much of a deterring factor there.

But as to your question, the answer is: a mentally unbalanced gay guy masquerading as straight so his actual friends, family, as well as his Imaginary Friend don't find out his "awful" secret. Obviously, a gay guy would never beat up one of his own, right? So the best way to divert attention away from his faggoty truth is to eliminate other queers.

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

I understand the frustration of homosexuals, however, the solution seems to be to ignore the fear and proclaim away.

It's all about timing and location. Back in the Jurassic Era when I had a boyfriend, we would occasionally hold hands in public. WeHo on a Friday night? We felt pretty safe. In the Downey shopping mall near where he lived? Not so much.

I do "proclaim" my sexuality with my friends and co-workers in a natural, non in-your-face manner. It is my opinion that the best long-term solution to homophobia (short of a time-traveler who goes back and eliminates the founding of all religions) is to be out and honest with people you personally encounter. It's a slow process, but in the long run the more people who are shown that we are just like them, the better our chances of achieving equality become.

[alphabassettgrrl]

Originally Posted by Not Afraid

Heterosexuals proclaim their sexuality daily but homosexuals don't because of fear?
...
Really, do you REALLY think people are going to physically attack you if you do? Is the number of current gay bashings really that high in comparison to the population?

I ride a line between "showing" and "being quiet", absolutely. While the sheer number of gay bashings isn't large, it's small comfort if one is targeted.

So yes, fear does keep things quiet. I'm with JWBear in that I'm tired of hearing how gay people "flaunt" their sexuality by holding hands, yet when an opposite-sex couple does it, it's not flaunting anything. BS. It's the same, just one is approved by the larger society, one is not (yet).

Originally Posted by SzczerbiakManiac

It is my opinion that the best long-term solution to homophobia (short of a time-traveler who goes back and eliminates the founding of all religions) is to be out and honest with people you personally encounter. It's a slow process, but in the long run the more people who are shown that we are just like them, the better our chances of achieving equality become.

Definitely. Those of us who can, will make it easier for those of us who can't yet.

[bewitched]

As an aside, here is Microsoft's response:

As stated in the Xbox Live Terms of Use, a member may not create a gamertag or use text in other profile fields that include comments that look, sound like, stand for, hint at, abbreviate, or insinuate content of a potentially sexual nature. Profiles that do are asked to change the language and suspended until changes are made. In regards to sexual orientation, for gamertags or profiles we do not allow expression of any type of orientation, be that hetero or other. Players can, however, self identify in voice communication where context is more easily explained to all players involved.

So presumably, if someone had a tag of "straightman" and it was brought to MS's attention (which seems to be some part of the mix), MS would suspend that person as well.