Help Us End the R-Word

[flippyshark]

Originally Posted by scaeagles

I think people find too many things to be offended over.

That's true enough - but on the other hand, an awful lot of people respond to sincere requests of "please don't say/do that" with an attitude of "fvck you, I'll do it MORE now!"

I always disagree with attempts to legislate, demand or coerce changes in social behavior. I'm often in sympathy, however, with people who use a public platform to try to reasonably persuade others to be more thoughtful. I bet it's a thankless task.

[innerSpaceman]

I went through this a short while back with "That's so gay."

I used to say it all the time ... and, as a gay man, I feel I have the right. But once I got involved in gay activism, more and more people started to object (not just Gemini Cricket).


For a while I was tellilng people to get over themselves. It's a phrase that I never said meaning to insult homosexuals. Much like "moron" does not really insult retards, er, um the developmentally disabled.

In fact, just as eskimos have 24 words for snow, I was pretty insistent that "lame" was not an acceptable substitute for "gay." Lame "gay" is a particular sub-set of lame, i.e., the lameness of something inappropriately effeminate. Like C(hick)adaverous Pallor wearing a flower in her hair would not be gay, but G(uy)houlish Delight doing the same would be so gay.

Granted, the phrase stems from a negative connotation of a certain stereotypical aspect of male homosexuality .... but, like the afore-mentioned "idiot" and "moron," has moved far beyond that root meaning (but not completely).


Anyway, my roundabout point is ... it didn't matter. A lot of people I was going to be interacting with took offense at the phrase, and so I dropped it out of consideration.

And sure, the goalposts will keep moving ... and if we drop "retard" today, it's replacement might be just as offensive in 20 years. But that's 20 years of not causing offense to people who need no more grief.


So I'll drop it.





Except, of course, when referring to Kevy.

[3894]

Originally Posted by Alex

Interesting experiment in how the same starting point can go in different directions.

I wanted to do x-post with the Breastaurant thread but since: 1) no one could possibly handle that thread better than the LoT crew and 2) it would make some extra work for stan4d_steph and Drince88 and -most importantly -possibly for moi, why bother?

You LoTers never disappoint.

Originally Posted by iSm

In fact, just as eskimos have 24 words for snow

This isn't true. The story was started by the anthropologist Franz Boaz who noted that the Central Esquimaux have different words for different kinds of snow. Somehow, this whole thing grew many years later - in the early 1970's. The number kept spiraling up, sort of like the Chief Seattle story that was invented by a newspaper editor in Texas. Anyway, it's [strike]gay[/strike], [strike]retarded[/strike] campy to repeat this thing about snow. Euro-Americans have only one word for snow but Esquimos have many different words for different kinds of snow perpetuates a stereotype about Native Americans being more in tune with their surroundings than the rest of us.

[Moonliner]

Originally Posted by 3894

This isn't true. The story was started by the anthropologist Franz Boaz who noted that the Central Esquimaux. He noted there were different words for different kinds of snow. Somehow, this whole thing grew many years later - in the early 1970's. The number kept spiraling up, sort of like the Chief Seattle story that was invented by a newspaper editor in Texas. Anyway, it's [strike]gay[/strike], [strike]retarded[/strike] campy to repeat this thing about snow. Euro-Americans have only one word for snow but Esquimos have many different words for different kinds of snow perpetuates a stereotype about Native Americans being more in tune with their surroundings than the rest of us.

This isn't true. That story was stared by evangelical missionaries who upon visiting the particular Eskimo culture studied by Dr. Boaz determined that the word "snow" did in fact translate into English as "sex" and further that there we considerably more than 24 variations on the word in common use (espically during the winter months).

[Not Afraid]

What, we're going to have to start an Eskimo Rumors thread now?

[Pirate Bill]

Originally Posted by Cadaverous Pallor

This reminds me of my childhood friend who was forbidden by her liberal parents to call anyone "stupid" or "dumb". It's one of those things that as a (foul-mouthed) kid, seemed ludicrous to me, but as an adult, does make some sense. It's a truly insulting thing to say to someone.

Some of my extended family have simplified this rule and teach their kids "Stupid is a naughty word." They've also included "hate" as another naughty word. You can't say, "I hate liver" in their house. Ugh. Somehow this got to my kids and they all gasped in shock one day when I said, "This TV show is stupid." I've had to unteach my kids and explain that calling people stupid is rude. In fact, being mean and calling people names in general is rude. But the word "stupid" is not a bad word.

I know why parents take this shortcut approach to teaching their kids., but I think it's lazy parenting. When kids grow up thinking the "s-word" and "f-word" are "stupid" and "fart," it might be funny and cute but really doesn't teach them the core value you're trying to instill.

By the way, you may freely use "fart" in my house. We all say it. But I often wonder what other parents think of my "foul mouthed kids" when they say it.

If you can't say "fart" the terrorist have won.

[Betty]

Oh we say fart all the fartin' time. Especially when the dog farts. For such a little guy - he's really a stinker like that.

And no name calling. Although my husband and I call each other names when the kids aren't around... but it's more in a playful manner even if it's negative. To give you an example, I called him a fart eating fart monster that smells like farts in a recent email.

No, we really don't have a thing with farts even though this post would seem to indicate otheriwise.

/fart

[Ghoulish Delight]

Originally Posted by Betty

I called him a fart eating fart monster that smells like farts in a recent email.

Are you sure you're not my sister?

[Not Afraid]

Fart was a work I was forbidden to say as a child. I still feel uncomfortable when I say it. Somehow, the worst of words were never addressed so Shyt, Fu<k and others of that nature flow freely as needed.

[3894]

Originally Posted by Moonliner

This isn't true. That story was stared by evangelical missionaries who upon visiting the particular Eskimo culture studied by Dr. Boaz determined that the word "snow" did in fact translate into English as "sex" and further that there we considerably more than 24 variations on the word in common use (espically during the winter months).

Are you busy next November and do you want to go to Philadelphia? We could give a joint paper - let's call it "The 'S' Word" - at the American Anthropological Association. Fair warning: I'll be wearing dangly ethnic earrings, a Mexican embroidered dress, and hairy legs.