Dove Contest - Take 1 (Need Feedback ASAP!!) - Page 5

NirvanaMan · 01-03-2008, 04:37 PM

Drop. More succinct and poignant. Shorter is always better in advertising. Have you thought about doing a VO?

Disneyphile · 01-03-2008, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NirvanaMan

Have you thought about doing a VO?

Yep. I might try it on one of the next takes.

The only thing I don't like about spoken word though - it can sometimes distract from the imagery, rather than add to it. My idea is to captivate people in the scene, so they can visualize themselves. But, I'm still open to trying a VO. It's at the bottom of my list though.

BarTopDancer · 01-03-2008, 04:44 PM

I really like the 2nd cut! It's fantastic!

I didn't notice the verbiage change until you pointed it out, but I do like "drop" after the soap drop. The cut to the oil/lotion mixture was a bit sudden and if there is a way you can move the focus off of Jen smiling at the product I'd suggest that as well.

As a woman (and that is who I presume the target market is

) I like the last scene. The mirror is a bit foggy but you can still see motion. However, it's not suggesting that we hop in the shower and have sex with Jen. It's suggesting that we use this product and relax. Then again, looking at chix in the mirror while they shower isn't one of my fantasies.

I also prefer this cut of music. It's very relaxing.

It's fantastic. I'll take a look at the others when I get home.

Pirate Bill · 01-03-2008, 04:47 PM

I'll be in my bunk.

Kevy Baby · 01-03-2008, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevy Baby

What about my request for more nudity?

Quote:

Originally Posted by Disneyphile

You volunteering?

Quote:

Originally Posted by NirvanaMan

Don't encourage him. Please.

But I did offer on Tuesday.

Now off to watch (but not listen to) Take 2

wolfy999 · 01-03-2008, 05:06 PM

The only comment I have is....I didn't even realize that it was soap & oil combined. It shows two liquids, but not what they are. Some verbage there would help sell the product IMOA.

Otherwise I really like Take 2 better than Take 1.

Morrigoon · 01-03-2008, 05:11 PM

Actually it's cream and oil

~MS~ · 01-03-2008, 05:12 PM

I liked the drop the ordinary better...it flowed with the visual a bit more....

Isaac · 01-03-2008, 05:14 PM

Can you upload the clip in a different format like mpg ?

I don't want to upgrade my version of Quicktime cause I'll lose my pro key, but I would like to see the clips you've made.

Deebs · 01-03-2008, 05:16 PM

There are elements I like in both takes.

My personal preference, overall, is Take 1. That said, I think Take 2 is the better result for mass appeal.

I like the music in Take 1 better, but think the music in Take 2 is more appropriate.

The fogged mirror is much better, because as CP mentioned herself, I was kinda wondering what exactly she was washing in Take 1.

*Drop* is a much better word choice.

01-03-2008, 04:37 PM	#41
NirvanaMan Making Change Happen Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 990	Drop. More succinct and poignant. Shorter is always better in advertising. Have you thought about doing a VO?
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01-03-2008, 04:44 PM	#43
BarTopDancer Prepping... Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Here, there, everywhere Posts: 11,405	I really like the 2nd cut! It's fantastic! I didn't notice the verbiage change until you pointed it out, but I do like "drop" after the soap drop. The cut to the oil/lotion mixture was a bit sudden and if there is a way you can move the focus off of Jen smiling at the product I'd suggest that as well. As a woman (and that is who I presume the target market is ) I like the last scene. The mirror is a bit foggy but you can still see motion. However, it's not suggesting that we hop in the shower and have sex with Jen. It's suggesting that we use this product and relax. Then again, looking at chix in the mirror while they shower isn't one of my fantasies. I also prefer this cut of music. It's very relaxing. It's fantastic. I'll take a look at the others when I get home. __________________ Spork is the new MacGyver Postcards From My Edge Last edited by BarTopDancer : 01-03-2008 at 04:50 PM.
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01-03-2008, 04:47 PM	#44
Pirate Bill Quality since 1973 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Right here Posts: 473	I'll be in my bunk.
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01-03-2008, 05:06 PM	#46
wolfy999 Eyes like Sapphires! Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: 2.4 miles from Disneyland Posts: 1,523	The only comment I have is....I didn't even realize that it was soap & oil combined. It shows two liquids, but not what they are. Some verbage there would help sell the product IMOA. Otherwise I really like Take 2 better than Take 1. __________________ Diane "Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy." - George Carlin 1937-2008 DISNEY IS FINALLY PAYING ME BACK......STILL OWES ME ABOUT (oh, wait....way too much)!
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01-03-2008, 05:11 PM	#47
Morrigoon I throw stones at houses Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Location: Location Posts: 9,534	Actually it's cream and oil __________________ http://bash.org/?top "It is useless for sheep to pass a resolution in favor of vegetarianism while wolves remain of a different opinion." -- William Randolph Inge
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01-03-2008, 05:12 PM	#48
~MS~ One Happy little Missy! Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 658	I liked the drop the ordinary better...it flowed with the visual a bit more.... __________________ "Sometimes Miracles Hide"
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01-03-2008, 05:14 PM	#49
Isaac the one n only Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Anaheim Posts: 1,236	Can you upload the clip in a different format like mpg ? I don't want to upgrade my version of Quicktime cause I'll lose my pro key, but I would like to see the clips you've made. __________________
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01-03-2008, 05:16 PM	#50
Deebs ... Join Date: Dec 2007 Posts: 961	There are elements I like in both takes. My personal preference, overall, is Take 1. That said, I think Take 2 is the better result for mass appeal. I like the music in Take 1 better, but think the music in Take 2 is more appropriate. The fogged mirror is much better, because as CP mentioned herself, I was kinda wondering what exactly she was washing in Take 1. Drop is a much better word choice.
	Submit to Quotes