WTF Stories of the Week

[CoasterMatt]

Clean up on aisle- OH JESUS!!!

Man tries to saw his arms off at Home Depot (http://blogs.laweekly.com/informer/2013/04/man_saws_arms_home_depot_west_covina.php).

[SzczerbiakManiac]

<-- shivers queasily and violently

[Ghoulish Delight]

Why Jews are evil (http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2013/04/albany-jews-evil-nazis-teacher-high-school.html)

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Damn...! :eek:

[alphabassettgrrl]

WTF indeed.

[Moonliner]

Clean up on aisle- OH JESUS!!!

Man tries to saw his arms off at Home Depot (http://blogs.laweekly.com/informer/2013/04/man_saws_arms_home_depot_west_covina.php).

Arms? Plural? You'd think doing the first one would have shown him the error of his ways, not to mention making it technically challenging to get the second one.

[Kevy Baby]

Why Jews are evil (http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2013/04/albany-jews-evil-nazis-teacher-high-school.html)It should have been an easy assignment...

[alphabassettgrrl]

A news report I heard on saw-guy was that he got them cut "down to the bone" but apparently not *through* it. Haven't heard what was wrong with him that he thought he needed to cut his arms off.

[Kevy Baby]

Cuz he's nucking futs

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Rick Santorum: Gay Marriage Discourages Straight Marriage (http://www.towleroad.com/2013/04/santorumoreilly.html)
How does someone with this level of mental illness rise so high in the political arena?

[alphabassettgrrl]

Yeah, because what we need is more gigantic families. It's not like we're crowded or anything.

Every culture that has enabled women to control when they have kids... they have chosen to. It's not that they stop having kids, but they space them out a bit. Recover between pregnancies.

Nobody asked me when I married my husband if we intended to have kids. Nobody asks post-menopausal women to not get married (since they can't have kids). Does he want to require fertility tests now in order to get a marriage license? There have been cultures like that- where a woman who has a baby is a very desirable match (hunter-gatherer cultures, living in areas that they have not yet hit population carrying-capacity).

Idiot. Marriage is about more than babies.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Gotta love the cognitive dissonance. "Teh gays will kill marriage, 'cause they aren't about having children." Yet, 3 sentences later, "This has been the trend since before gay marriage was even an issue." Yeah, but totally teh gays fault.

[alphabassettgrrl]

Yeah, you can't apply logic to teh crazy.

[Morrigoon]

Yeah what I took away from it is he basically admitted that we already define marriage in this culture in terms of the relationship rather than the children, and he totally doesn't realize that that's what he's saying.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Man goes to dentist to get three teeth pulled, dentist pulls ALL of his teeth without permission (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=GCCB1OnvwqU)

NY Daily News (http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/autistic-man-left-toothless-dentist-pulls-teeth-article-1.1312501)
HuffPo (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/04/10/christopher-crists-dentist-pulls-all-his-teeth_n_3054482.html)

[alphabassettgrrl]

OOps.

[RStar]

Holy Crap!! How can a dentist like that still be in buisness??

[Moonliner]

Holy Crap!! How can a dentist like that still be in buisness??

Are you kidding? First he get's to charge for 29 extra pulls, more gas, and then a full set of dentures to boot, ka-ching!

[sleepyjeff]

:snap:

[Ghoulish Delight]

For a half a millisecond I had the thought, "Good. At least on Monday when Glenn Beck has nothing to back his stupidity up with, it'll wake people up."

Then my brain started working correctly again.

[Ghoulish Delight]

This (http://www.examiner.com/article/tiny-alien-skeleton-aliens-among-us)

[SzczerbiakManiac]

For the first time ever, students at Georgia's Wilcox County High School held a racially integrated prom this weekend. (http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/04/29/wilcox-count-georgia-integrated-prom/2121603/)

Weird, I thought it was 2013, not 1963.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Passenger walked off plane because she would not stop singing "I will always love you" (http://www.cnn.com/2013/05/13/travel/always-love-you-flight/index.html)
The scheduled non-stop from LAX to New York had to stop in Kansas City to kick the crazy person off the plane, who continued singing while being escorted out by police.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Tiger with Tummy Trouble Has 4 Pound Hairball Removed (http://bluepearlvet.com/tiger-with-tummy-trouble-has-4-pound-hairball-removed/)
link has pictures of the tiger and his hairball post-surgery

[Ghoulish Delight]

Bad day to be in a small plane...

One (http://usnews.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/05/31/18660600-four-dead-after-two-small-planes-collide-midair-officials-say?lite)

Two (http://www.nbcnewyork.com/news/local/Small-Plane-Crash-New-Jersey-Linden-209683201.html)

Three (http://www.washingtonpost.com/local/small-plane-crashes-into-garden-apartment-in-herndon/2013/05/31/6af063b8-c9d5-11e2-8da7-d274bc611a47_story.html) (everyone survived this one)

[Ghoulish Delight]

This is amazing.

A man was upset because the "d" in "and" was missing from a sign for the "State or Oregon Teacher Standards and Practices Commission"

So he wanted to blow the sign up.

So got instructions for a pressure cooker bomb off the internet.

But instead he walked into the office carrying the bomb, explained his mission...then explained that the bomb wouldn't work because the instructions he got were so poorly written...and that made him further upset and therefore the members of the commission should be further concerned about the state of education!

For realsies (http://www.loweringthebar.net/2013/05/oregon-man-tries-to-blow-up-misspelled-sign.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+LoweringTheBar+%28Lowering+th e+Bar%29)

<boggle>

[Moonliner]

This is amazing.

A man was upset because the "d" in "and" was missing from a sign for the "State or Oregon Teacher Standards and Practices Commission"

So he wanted to blow the sign up.

So got instructions for a pressure cooker bomb off the internet.

But instead he walked into the office carrying the bomb, explained his mission...then explained that the bomb wouldn't work because the instructions he got were so poorly written...and that made him further upset and therefore the members of the commission should be further concerned about the state of education!

For realsies (http://www.loweringthebar.net/2013/05/oregon-man-tries-to-blow-up-misspelled-sign.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+LoweringTheBar+%28Lowering+th e+Bar%29)

<boggle>

State OF Oregon, godammit! State of. Get it right or so help me......

[Morrigoon]

State OF Oregon, godammit! State of. Get it right or so help me......

Boy, they really need to address these issues in education...

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Fütbol Referee Beheaded After Killing Player (www.espn.co.uk/football/sport/story/219243.html)

[alphabassettgrrl]

Wow. That is crazy.

[RStar]

Cow falls through roof, killing a man. (http://www.examiner.com/article/cow-falls-on-man-cow-falls-crushing-man-bed-after-breaking-through-roof)

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Geraldo Rivera's bathroom selfie (http://dlisted.com/2013/07/21/would-you-hit-it-3/)
Warning: You can't un-see that picture!

[Alex]

I don't mind the picture. He's right, he looks good for 70. Though he looks distressingly like my memory of my father (if I aged my father to 50).

That said, I'm appalled that he apparently wears those stupid red sunglasses at home, in his bathroom, while naked. From this I can only assume he wears socks while having sex.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Sure, he's in shape for a 70-year old... but he's Geraldo Rivera! I didn't need to see Geraldo Rivera half naked, no matter what his fitness level happens to be.

[Strangler Lewis]

Mandelbaum! Mandelbaum!

[Gn2Dlnd]

Cow falls through roof, killing a man. (http://www.examiner.com/article/cow-falls-on-man-cow-falls-crushing-man-bed-after-breaking-through-roof)

Amazingly bad writing. Here are the three opening sentences, and the alleged writer's byline.

A cow falls on a man and kills him, this is a bizarre accident making headline news today. The cow falls on the man after coming right through the roof. The bovine falls eight feet onto a bed where a man and wife are sleeping. -
Roz Zurko is a published freelance writer originally from Milford, Conn. and writes from her home in Westfield, Ma. today. Her background in psychology adds a unique prospective to her writing. Her articles were read by more than one million people last month.


One million stupider people.

[Alex]

You aren't always going to get quality journalism on hyperlocal news sites using non-professional labor.

Trust me, I know.

[Gn2Dlnd]

Grammar would be nice.

[Moonliner]

Heh, Headliner is away at Journalism boot camp.

Today they had a closed book spelling test that included:

The Ex-Governor of California who's also the Terminator
The newly Ex-President of Iran
The surviving Boston Bomber suspect.
The soda you drink at 10:00, 2:00 and 4:00
among others.

I would not have done well.

[Alex]

Good to know they're focusing on core journalism skills. Watergate almost didn't happen because Bernstein kept spelling it Ehrilkmann and so Ben Bradlee kept rejecting the stories.

Schwarzenegger (easy to remember with this helpful mnemonic: a black German-American engaging in a Halloween prank)

محمود احمدی*نژاد

Царна́ев (this one I actually knew but still copied from Wiki because I'm not set up to type Cyrillic).

I have no idea what soda is being referenced.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Царна́ев (this one I actually knew but still copied from Wiki because I'm not set up to type Cyrillic).

More specific [/trebek]. It specified the SURVIVING suspect. That could refer to either of them.

Equally clueless on the soda. Huh?

[Alex]

I do like that the Dzhokhar and Tamerlan Tsarnaev page title on Wikipedia gets translated to The Brothers Tsarnaev on the Russian version of the page.

Makes it sounds more literary.

[Moonliner]

Now I really feel old.

The Soda is Dr Pepper

(The catch being that there is no period after Dr)

[Alex]

How old are you? What I'm finding is that slogan dates to the '30s and '40s.

(And I'll stand by a spelling test as a journalism boot camp seems like pointless make work.)

[Moonliner]

How old are you? What I'm finding is that slogan dates to the '30s and '40s.

(And I'll stand by a spelling test as a journalism boot camp seems like pointless make work.)

I think the idea behind the exercise was to drive home the point that in Journalism things like spelling and grammar are important.

Don't know about the rest of the country, but down in Texas "10 2 and 4" was a common thing to see well into the 80's.

[Alex]

But they're not particularly (well grammar and basic spelling are so that your editor knows what you're saying). And especially not when it comes to transliterated names for which there is not often a "correct" spelling but at best a house style.

To the best of my recollection as a child resident of the Pacific Northwest, I've never heard that slogan for Dr Pepper before. "Be a Pepper" being about where my awareness kicks in.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

San Diego Mayor Bob Filner claims he's not liable for sexually harassing eight women because the city failed to provide him with sexual harassment training (http://www.10news.com/news/bob-filners-attorney-says-san-diego-is-at-fault-for-mayors-behavior).

[Ghoulish Delight]

Why would he need training? He's clearly an expert.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

It seems that Gay, Russian, Neo-Nazis are a thing (http://www.vice.com/read/meet-russias-gay-aryan-skinheads-finally-bringing-homosexuality-to-the-neo-nazi-world).

[Moonliner]

It seems that Gay, Russian, Neo-Nazis are a thing (http://www.vice.com/read/meet-russias-gay-aryan-skinheads-finally-bringing-homosexuality-to-the-neo-nazi-world).

Thanks to the Internet, we now know everything is a thing.

[RStar]

I have a thing. I just haven't put it on the internet.

Unless this counts.

[Kevy Baby]

This isn't an earth-shattering revelation: we all knew you were male

[RStar]

Oh, you've seen my thing? ;)

[SzczerbiakManiac]

While visiting my local Ralph's last night, I happened down the laundry aisle and noticed several shelves that had huge gaps on them. In each shelf stood a sign reading, "Tide is available. Please ask at the checkout counter."

I found an employee and asked her what the deal was. She explained that Tide, and just Tide, is so frequently stolen, they have had to resort to this.

I wondered what's so special about Tide that folks want to steal it? Then I came across this (http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2012/03/why-are-criminals-stealing-tide-detergent-and-using-it-for-money/254631/).

[katiesue]

Interesting.

[Snowflake]

Bizzare!

[Strangler Lewis]

Darn. Somebody in the comments already made a money laundering joke.

[Frikitiki]

Supposedly it's been going on for a while as the date of the article points out....

[Moonliner]

Supposedly it's been going on for a while as the date of the article points out....

Dammit! Will the police never be able to stem the tide on this dirty business?

[katiesue]

Oh Moonie :eek:

[RStar]

I was in Stater Bros. the other day. I lady in an EVC had stopped at a refrigerated cabnit with a glass door. I was at the end of the isle. I heard a strange noise like someone knocked over a bunch of canned items. This was followed by the sound of glass crashing to the ground. So I turned around to see that she had opened the door, with in in her direct path and proceded to drive through it. The employees nearby rushed over and asked if she was ok, but she just sat there stunned.

Afterwards, I said "Crap, I should have taken a picture with my phone and put it on Facebook!"

[Moonliner]

Afterwards, I said "Crap, I should have taken a picture with my phone and put it on Facebook!"

Obviously the correct response to almost any situation these days.

[Kevy Baby]

Not EVERY situation. Trust me on this: mine keep getting taken down because they are "pornography" (and Susan wasn't happy with me posting them anyways)

[RStar]

Obviously the correct response to almost any situation these days.

I know, right? But I'm not use to doing that so I think of it only afterwards....

[Moonliner]

Plan to split California into 6 states advances

California has reached the breaking point, says Tim Draper. The Silicon Valley venture capitalist is pushing a proposal to crack the nation's most populous state into smaller pieces — six of them.


Dear USA Today, you keep using that word "advances" I do not think it means what you think it does.

[Alex]

Ignoring issues of national politics, I'd actually support splitting up the state (though probably not into six pieces).

It would help with my thinking on how to rationalize water policy, probably dry out southern California and central valley (or at least lead to something closer to market rates for the water they import) and generally depopulate much of the state.

[katiesue]

I'm from Lassen County. Lassen and Modoc county have been trying to secede back to Nevada on and off for years and years. We really have much more in common with the rural Nevada counties. We started out as a part of Nevada but ended up in California after the sagebrush war.

[Kevy Baby]

It's our water dammit! William Mulholland stole it fair and square!

[RStar]

I've often thought that splitting it in two might be a possibility, maybe even three. But 6 is way too ambitious to ever get off the ground.

[RStar]

The Pope Drops the "F" bomb in a Vatican speach (http://news.yahoo.com/blogs/sideshow/pope-francis--potty-mouth-200031656.html)
Ok, it was an accident....;)

[Moonliner]

Dear Parents:

If you are doing this: (http://www.cnn.com/2014/04/16/living/prom-dress-shopping-too-sexy-skimpy-parents/index.html?hpt=hp_c2)


Some of the dads who were chaperoning the prom had complained that her dancing "was too provocative" and that she was going to "cause the young men at the prom to think impure thoughts."


You are doing it wrong.

Causing temptation is not the problem, Being tempted is. If you've not taught your sons and daughters how to deal with temptation responsibly long before they leave home then you have failed as a parent.

[Moonliner]

Man finds bullet proof vest. Puts vest on. Asks woman to shoot him. She does. She misses, he dies.

Doh. (http://www.latimes.com/nation/nationnow/la-na-nn-bullet-proof-vest-fatal-shooting-20140515-story.html)


There is just so much wrong with this story, it had to go here.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

I see a Darwin Award in his future.

[Moonliner]

Oops.

It was a lie.
http://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/womans-story-fatal-s-c-shooting-was-lie-deputies-n107846

[Ghoulish Delight]

Hmm, but the charge is still involuntary manslaughter. So...don't rescind that nomination yet.

[RStar]

I'm not sure which is more strange, the initial story, or the fact that she lied and made it up. Perhaps she is covering for someone.....

[Moonliner]

I must say, when I first read the story I bwas curious how she missed the vest and put a bullet into his heart. That part is usually covered by a vest.

[Ghoulish Delight]

Considering the circumstantial evidence of the intelligence level involved, I just assumed the vest was not worn correctly.

[SzczerbiakManiac]

The World's Worst Playgrounds (https://roadtrippers.com/blog/the-worlds-worst-playgrounds-are-where-fun-goes-to-die)
Some of these are funny, some of them are strange, but the first one is downright disturbing! I'm going to spoiler it because it might not be work friendly and it may or may not be nightmare-inducing.https://res.cloudinary.com/roadtrippers/image/upload/c_fill,h_305,w_610/v1411440766/the-worlds-worst-playgrounds-are-where-fun-goes-to-die.jpg

[RStar]

Well, it would certainly be disturbing watching kids play on it.

[Ghoulish Delight]

I like how the list kinda belied its own premise. There's a shot half way through that shows a slide aimed right at a ditch. Then toward the end there's an un-cropped version of the same picture that clearly shows construction tape around the ditch. [I know, over analyzing something not worth analyzing, just amused at the laziness of it]

[SzczerbiakManiac]

Agreed GD

[Prudence]

Spiders again. (https://boingboing.net/2018/09/17/spiders-blamed-after-broken-si.html)